# Neuticles for dogs. Are they worth it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 17, 2003, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156 "2003-07-17T15:18:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156/1 "2003-07-17T15:18:14Z")
Have any Doperpets had [Neuticles](http://www.neuticles.com/index1.html) implanted? I’m considering getting my Chocolate Lab fixed, and was thinking about getting him a set (perhaps a size up from what he has now, partly to say “Sorry for cutting off your balls, boy”, and partly to make him feel better about himself). Are they worth it? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156/2 "2003-07-17T15:39:57Z")
Sure, they’re the dog’s bollocks! 😃 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156/3 "2003-07-17T15:48:52Z")
I don’t know but the Sizing Chart and Pricing link on the left side of that page almost made me spit out the water I was drinking. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156/4 "2003-07-17T15:54:21Z")
I have my doubts the dog cares. The idea that balls=courage or manlyness or whatever is purely cultural, and I doubt dog culture goes much beyond “That tastes good!” and “MUST CHASE BALL!!!”, let alone match our culture. As a side note, I read once that although these exist for dogs, there are no implant that a human male could get if he lost one or both testes to cancer (or an accident or whatever). ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156/5 "2003-07-17T16:01:26Z")
The dog’s not going to care in the slightest. He won’t even know they’re gone. Really. We have two fixed male dogs and they haven’t a clue. I’d say they’re not worth it, but if you want to spend the money…of course, if I see a dog that appears to have testicles that is not a show dog, I get pissed at the owners. You may have to deal with people who make that same assumption if you do it. A chocolate Lab…aren’t labs great? ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156/6 "2003-07-17T16:25:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Casey1505 \* > \*\* perhaps a size up from what he has now, partly to say “Sorry for cutting off your balls, boy”, and partly to make him feel better about himself). \*\* Generally speaking, I don’t think self-esteem is a big issue in dogs. If my brother’s dog can be cheerful ball-less and having his intelligence insulted when he barks at nothing (being a beagle, this is just about daily) I don’t think he spends much time feeling bad about himself. IMO, the only ones who feels better about this sort of thing is the owners who are projecting their own feelings onto their pets. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156/7 "2003-07-17T16:47:29Z")
> [@](#): > > He won’t even know they’re gone Once the post-op cone comes off and he attempts to reunite tongue to crotch, he’d know they were were gone. I can almost picture the confused look on his face. I swear, some days it seems like all he does is lick himself there. I guess it beats him licking _my_ balls all day long. JuanitaTech, for a good laugh, take a look at the top picture under “Surgical Procedure” (not graphic, so lunch is safe). The only things missing are a set of sturrups, and the doctor coaxing him along (“Congratulations, Ernie, its a boy!..Oh, wait, I think he has a brother! …One…Two…Three…PUSH!”) I was just joking around about up-sizing. According to the medical disclosure, it can cause complications. It’d also probably chafe as well as change his gait, causing even more problems down the road. ---
**Author:** ![Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horrifying_Howler_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156/8 "2003-07-17T17:17:43Z")
A man who does Doberman rescue in the States wrote this about Neuticles. [http://www.google.ca/search?q=cache:cnlaGBAv2egJ:www.sunshineband.org/tails/Neuticles.shtml](http://www.google.ca/search?q=cache:cnlaGBAv2egJ:www.sunshineband.org/tails/Neuticles.shtml) It’s a good read (but I can’t seem to code it properly, I guess because it’s in google’s cache, the original site doesn’t seem to still be online, which is a shame) ---
**Author:** ![Isabelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@Isabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isabelle)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156/9 "2003-07-17T17:37:25Z")
It’s the least you could do for your dog after forcing surgery on him! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156/10 "2003-07-17T17:44:21Z")
I think the best use for these implants is if your pet still has his original two in place. _“Look Martha, that dog’s got four nuts.”_ ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156/11 "2003-07-17T17:47:32Z")
Waste of money, if you ask me. I’ve had many neutered dogs, and none of them care. And I agree with **whiterabbit**. If I see your dog moseying around with a big pair of nuts, I’m gonna give you a dirty look. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156/12 "2003-07-17T18:10:30Z")
I keep thinking back to an episode of “Greg the Bunny” where they castrate a German Shepard, and replace his boys with musical eyeballs. [Episode 4](http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=9851868&BRD=2185&PAG=461&dept_id=471083&rfi=6) Now THAT would be entertaining…😉 ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156/13 "2003-07-17T18:21:33Z")
Our yellow lab gives himself regular blowjobs. He doesn’t seem to mind – or even notice – that the balls are gone. Besides, dogs don’t KNOW what their balls are for. They do not think about their balls the way you think about YOURS. They just know that it feels good when they lick them! The dog is NOT going to miss them! Besides, he still licks where they used to be. Then he licks his ass, and then he wants to lick ME. Ewwwwwww!!! ---
**Author:** ![Gulo\_gulo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bcef8e/32.png) [@Gulo\_gulo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gulo_gulo)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156/14 "2003-07-17T18:57:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Magayuk \* > \*\*A man who does Doberman rescue in the States wrote this about Neuticles. [http://www.google.ca/search?q=cache:cnlaGBAv2egJ:www.sunshineband.org/tails/Neuticles.shtml](http://www.google.ca/search?q=cache:cnlaGBAv2egJ:www.sunshineband.org/tails/Neuticles.shtml) > \*\* This guy is a hoot! I’m on a Doberman mailing list and his posts are always worthy of reading and re-reading. But back to the OP: Why bother? You’re dog isn’t going to dwell on his lack of testicles and will lick his nether regions regardless of anything that’s back there. So in a nutshell (hee hee) I think it’s a waste of money. If you feel bad neutering your dog and still feel the need to see some balls swinging around down there, then go ahead and get this canine cosmetic surgery. Your dog isn’t going to love you any more or less. I just think the money would be better spent on dog toys. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156/15 "2003-07-17T19:26:16Z")
I really don’t think the dog cares, or notices once the discomfort of surgery has passed. The dog really lives in the present moment. The only reason to have these is if YOU would feel better if the dog appears to have testicles. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156/16 "2003-07-17T19:50:06Z")
The dog isn’t going care that they’re gone, so why do you? It’s a waste of money. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156/17 "2003-07-17T20:05:28Z")
Yeah, I guess it doesn’t really matter. But the neutering _will_ calm him down a little, right? He’s not aggressive or anything, but he’s a little hyper. Not in a bad way, but when guests arrive, he is all over them. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156/18 "2003-07-17T20:19:53Z")
I hope the Maasai don’t pick up on this. They’d probably stick a couple of big old plates in there or something. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156/19 "2003-07-17T20:24:31Z")
Casey, My oldest dog is a boy. At the time, he was the only dog. He was, and stillis, my baby. The idea of neuturing made me sad: “oh my poor baby! It’s a ghastly thing to do to my baby!” I was also worried that his personality would change. However, I knew it was a good thing to do. The idea of him getting another dog pregnant was not a good one, as there would be no way I could ever give those dogs away. There was also no way that I would have 10 dogs or more…that’s just crazy! So, when the time came, I talked to the vet. He also told me what the others here are saying. He told me that I would be better off donating that money to a shelter, where it would be put to better use. Well, let me tell you: a) he hasn’t noticed a thing. I surely thought he, too, would give me _that_ look. Nope. He went on licking himself just like before. He didn’t care a single bit. b) Hate to break it to you, but neuturing may not change the hyperness. My dog didn’t change a bit, personality wise. my dog is a Boston terrier that can be rather hyper. The only way to get him to stop getting allover guests is to train him out of it. He is slowly learning, so at least we are making progress. There are also harnesses that prevent a dog from jumping. You may consider getting one of those. ---
**Author:** ![Gulo\_gulo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bcef8e/32.png) [@Gulo\_gulo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gulo_gulo)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156/20 "2003-07-17T20:27:51Z")
How old is the dog? Most labs I see are fairly high energy. My dad’s chocolate lab started calming down when he hit 9. And as for jumping all over guests, that’s an training issue. Teach him to “sit & stay” when people arrive. 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neuticles-for-dogs-are-they-worth-it/189156.md?page=2)