# Never Ever do this! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 19, 2003, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508 "2003-03-19T10:31:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/1 "2003-03-19T10:31:39Z")
Never. ever. I repeat _ever_ fart one of those SBD (silent but deadly) farts just before you have one of those unavoidable yawns! I did this for the first time ever in my life today. I could _taste_ the fart! I am amazed that I am still living! ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/2 "2003-03-19T10:40:52Z")
It’s worse when it’s someone elses SBD. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/3 "2003-03-19T10:44:44Z")
‘Taste the fart’ sounds like one of those Power Business phrases. “Dammit Peter, we’re up against the wall here, we need to pull in the Johnson account or we’ll really be tasting the fart” ---
**Author:** ![Brutus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/4 "2003-03-19T12:18:59Z")
But what if you had to taste a fart, or 1,000,000,000 people would be killed by a red-button wielding, maniacal, Sri Lankan, bad-haired puppy, who was the child of senior Al Queda members? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/5 "2003-03-19T12:53:17Z")
I would go into a phone booth, tear off my shirt and emerge as … GIANT SQUID MAN! ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/6 "2003-03-19T12:54:38Z")
And I would do my best to refute you! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Brutus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/7 "2003-03-19T13:01:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mangetout \* > \*\*I would go into a phone booth, tear off my shirt and emerge as … GIANT SQUID MAN! \*\* Well. I certainly didn’t expect that! ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/8 "2003-03-19T13:19:32Z")
Giant Squids are always unexpected! ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/9 "2003-03-19T13:26:05Z")
Kind of like the Spanis Inquisition. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/10 "2003-03-19T13:27:13Z")
And the Spanish Inquisition, also. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/11 "2003-03-19T13:35:46Z")
My oh my. You boys **are** in a good mood this morning, aren’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/12 "2003-03-19T13:39:27Z")
You mean the Spanish Insquidsition? ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/13 "2003-03-19T13:40:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Brutus \* > \*\*Well. I certainly didn’t expect that! \*\* Oh does that all the time. It’s just his excuse to run around the neighborhood in his underwear, wearing a cape. The neighbor kids love him, though. ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/14 "2003-03-19T13:43:01Z")
Giant Squid Man? Sounds like a job for Captain Crab and his faithful companion Whiffy, the prawn wonder. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/15 "2003-03-19T13:53:42Z")
I’d buy a ticket only if **Libertarian** would show up as an equally giant lighthouse. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/16 "2003-03-19T14:09:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mangetout \* > \*\*“Dammit Peter, we’re up against the wall here, we need to pull in the Johnson account or we’ll really be tasting the fart” \*\* Holy shit, that was funny! Now if I could just find a way to work this into a conversation today… ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/17 "2003-03-19T14:10:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SkipMagic \* > \*\*I’d buy a ticket only if **Libertarian** would show up as an equally giant lighthouse. \*\* Well, since you’re paying… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/18 "2003-03-19T14:39:06Z")
In my humble, choking opinion, this thread is funnier than that Blimp one. _gasp__ack_ ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/19 "2003-03-19T14:56:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by particlewill \* > \*\*In my humble, choking opinion, this thread is funnier than that Blimp one. > > _gasp__ack_ \*\* And so it begins; Lobsang’s SBD is spreading across the internet. Let particlewill’s suffering be a lesson to us all, people. It’s time to wrap your monitors in plastic sheeting and duct tape. ---
**Author:** ![carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrot)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/20 "2003-03-19T14:59:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kal \* > \*\*And so it begins; Lobsang’s SBD is spreading across the internet. \*\* Ack! **Lobsang** is attacking us with chemical weapons! D’you think that France will join the coalition against him now? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508.md?page=2)