# Never Ever do this! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 19, 2003, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508 "2003-03-19T10:31:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/41 "2003-03-20T00:54:36Z")
When come back, all your cat’s missing dollar smells of a duck’s echogry. ---
**Author:** ![tarfu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tarfu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tarfu)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/42 "2003-03-20T01:04:38Z")
Mmmmmmm…squid pie… ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/43 "2003-03-20T03:42:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mangetout \* > \*\*When come back, all your cat’s missing dollar smells of a duck’s echogry. \*\* SDMB: The Reader’s Digest Condensed Version. ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/44 "2003-03-20T04:52:42Z")
You have now reached the last page of the SDMB. Please turn off your computer, go outside, and play. Thank you for your patronage. [sub]Please don’t forget to tip Og on the way out, or he may smite your foreskin.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![NutWrench](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nutwrench/32/20193_2.png) [@NutWrench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutWrench)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/45 "2003-03-20T04:58:04Z")
That’s what Test Farts are for. ---
**Author:** ![Daerlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Daerlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daerlyn)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/46 "2003-03-20T06:19:22Z")
I have been reading this thread with my hand holding my nose shut, as it was the only way I could avoid having my coworker stare at me as I snorted and giggled my way through it. 😃 Thanks, guys. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/47 "2003-03-20T14:55:39Z")
Dem Test Fart Pilots sure is brave. The Right Puff? ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/48 "2003-03-20T15:01:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > Dem Test Fart Pilots sure is brave. Your daughter deserves a medal. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/49 "2003-03-20T16:20:49Z")
> [@](#): > > Never. ever. I repeat ever fart one of those SBD (silent but deadly) farts just before you have one of those unavoidable yawns! > I did this for the first time ever in my life today. I could taste the fart! > > I am amazed that I am still living! Does it taste like Chinese Turnip Cake? [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=170870](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=170870) ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/50 "2003-03-20T16:31:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kal \* > \*\*And you’re still posting? Shite, **Lobsang’s** farts turn people into zombies! \*\* I got better. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/51 "2003-03-20T16:37:42Z")
What do we do with farts? Burn 'em! ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/52 "2003-03-20T17:10:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mangetout \* > \*\*When come back, all your cat’s missing dollar smells of a duck’s echogry. \*\* I was going to add, “…in a bathtub of ice…” but no… That would be gilding the gold or painting the lilly… Your summary is perfect. May I worship you? Trinopus ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2003, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/53 "2003-03-21T09:13:00Z")
Actually, I like that addition: **When come back, all your cat’s missing dollar smells of a duck’s echogry in a bath of ice…** Please feel free to add/modify (in as concise form as possible). ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/54 "2003-03-22T15:17:16Z")
All your duck farts are mine! ---
**Author:** ![Aleq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@Aleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aleq)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/55 "2003-03-22T19:45:10Z")
All of your fuck darts are belonging of us now! Unhand my sphincter, minion! ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2003, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/56 "2003-03-23T23:51:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mangetout \* > \*\*‘Taste the fart’ sounds like one of those Power Business phrases. > > “Dammit Peter, we’re up against the wall here, we need to pull in the Johnson account or we’ll really be tasting the fart” \*\* Now that’s funny. It also sounds like the worst catch line from the worst Arnold Schwazenegger movie. [ahnold] Now it’s your turn to taste the foht. [/ahnold] ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2003, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/57 "2003-03-23T23:52:49Z")
Oh, and I meant to add that you should be careful about how you pull in your Johnson account. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_of\_the\_CC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@Earl\_of\_the\_CC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_of_the_CC)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2003, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/58 "2003-03-24T03:36:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*You realize of course that for the rest of the day your breath will smell like fart? \*\* This maybe the funniest question in the history of the universe. You are… something special lieu. Something special. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/59 "2003-07-01T18:40:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Skeezix \* > \*\*[sub]Please don’t forget to tip Og on the way out, or he may smite your foreskin.[/sub] \*\* Hah! Og can’t smite **my** foreskin – I’ve already been circumcised! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508/60 "2003-07-01T19:02:20Z")
I realize that this thread isn’t that old but it smells kind of ripe. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-ever-do-this/162508.md?page=4)