# Never fear, Geraldo is here!!!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [September 3, 2005, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850 "2005-09-03T03:20:53Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2005, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850/1 "2005-09-03T03:20:53Z")
Thank God, Geraldo has arrived in New Orleans. All our problems are solved now.
:rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2005, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850/2 "2005-09-03T03:27:54Z")
Now all the looted guns and ammunition makes sense. Foresight.
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### Author:  [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2005, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850/3 "2005-09-03T03:32:47Z")
In case of emergencies, does his moustache also serve as a floatation device?
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### Author:  [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2005, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850/4 "2005-09-03T03:35:45Z")
I bet he found out that there are militant, feminist, lesbian, Nazi, gun-toting vigilantes who are going to put an end to those looters but good !!!
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### Author:  [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2005, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850/5 "2005-09-03T03:35:49Z")
> [@The Sausage Creature](#):
>
> In case of emergencies, does his moustache also serve as a floatation device?
Well, I’m not too keen on his mind, but he is kinda cute. I might consider floating on that moustache…
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### Author:  [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2005, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850/6 "2005-09-03T03:39:46Z")
Perhaps he’s there to find Al Capone?
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### Author:  [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2005, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850/7 "2005-09-03T04:18:31Z")
[Mighty Mouse theme]
Professional Journalism ne-ver hangs a-round
When it hears this frightening sound
“Geraldo’s come to SAVE THE DAY”
That means that Mighty Mouth is on his way
Yes-sir when there are Satanic Cults to interview
Mi-ghty Mouth will start his spew
On the air he will grandstand
The biggest attention whore in all the land.
[/Mighty Mouse theme]
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### Author:  [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2005, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850/8 "2005-09-03T04:29:52Z")
I’m surprised he was able to find the Superdome.
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2005, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850/9 "2005-09-03T07:08:09Z")
> [@Large Marge](#):
>
> Perhaps he’s there to find Al Capone?
He’s going to track down all of the looters in their caves and shoot them in the head. Then he’ll find the storm and shoot it, too.
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### Author:  [@Orbifold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orbifold)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2005, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850/10 "2005-09-03T07:29:00Z")
[Link](http://www.crooksandliars.com/2005/09/02.html#a4763) to some of Geraldo’s reporting from New Orleans. (Warning: the video files linked to on the above page are a little large.) Just so you can see what you’re laughing at.
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### Author:  [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2005, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850/11 "2005-09-03T07:55:42Z")
I’m sure we all feel the same about the situation in New Orleans, appalled at the devastation and calamity. But leave it to Mr. Sensationalize himself to show up and pump his ego on the suffering.
I live in TX, we’re doing all we can. How’s things out in sunny CA?
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### Author:  [@Orbifold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orbifold)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2005, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850/12 "2005-09-03T08:03:57Z")
> [@ccwaterback](#):
>
> I live in TX, we’re doing all we can. How’s things out in sunny CA?
Oh, shove that. I’m not going to throw stones at Geraldo (a man whom I freely admit can be a grade A twit) because _he’s_ doing what _he_ can right now. There’s not much I can do except do what I can to help the relief efforts financially. But if I were in Geraldo’s position…if I had the pulpit he has…I should hope that I would do what he’s doing now: making sure that the plight of the people still stuck in the Convention Center and elsewhere in New Orleans doesn’t go unnoticed.
I’m not going to make fun of a man for trying to help and for doing his job.
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2005, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850/13 "2005-09-03T08:10:47Z")
If you see Geraldo as trying to help instead of, say, stroke his ego and draw attention to himself yet again, you’re a more charitable man (?) than I.
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### Author:  [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2005, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850/14 "2005-09-03T10:05:27Z")
> [@Orbifold](#):
>
> …if I had the pulpit he has…I should hope that I would do what he’s doing now: making sure that the plight of the people still stuck in the Convention Center and elsewhere in New Orleans doesn’t go unnoticed.
Unnoticed? Not all of us are as dense as [Michael Brown.](http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/09/02/katrina.response/index.html)
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### Author:  [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2005, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850/15 "2005-09-03T15:17:47Z")
I don’t mock Geraldo for _what_ he’s doing. I mock him for _how_ he’s doing it. My husband came in a few minutes ago and told me to turn to FOX News (which I don’t watch much for my blood pressure’s sake), and there was Geraldo in front of the Convention Center screaming, “The cavalry is coming!” Gah! Way to be objective in your reporting there, imbecile. :wally
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### Author:  [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2005, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850/16 "2005-09-03T15:55:34Z")
Hey, at least he was doing _something_. I also rarely watch Fox News, but got a phone call from the SO last night, “Turn on the O’Reilly Factor! You are so not going to believe this shit!” So I turned it on, and there’s Bill O’Reilly, Tool of the Century, sending his crazy action team out to save people’s lives. I mean, he was being a real tool doing it, but it was the saddest thing in the world - Bill O’Reilly saying, “We’ll tell the military where you are” and realizing that, yeah, this time O’Reilly tells the freaking military what to do. That is one screwed up disaster plan there. But they were actually, honest to goodness, getting in there and saving people’s lives and calling attention to where the refugees were and what they needed.
I mean, I still hate O’Reilly, and Geraldo, but you can’t say they weren’t trying to help.
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2005, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850/17 "2005-09-03T16:00:44Z")
> [@astro](#):
>
> [Mighty Mouse theme]
> Professional Journalism ne-ver hangs a-round
> When it hears this frightening sound
> “Geraldo’s come to SAVE THE DAY”
> That means that Mighty Mouth is on his way
> Yes-sir when there are Satanic Cults to interview
> Mi-ghty Mouth will start his spew
> On the air he will grandstand
> The biggest attention whore in all the land.
> [/Mighty Mouse theme]
Damn!
I was going to post Mighty Mouse lyrics for a comment in GD about Duhbya showing up In New Orleans!
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### Author:  [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2005, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850/18 "2005-09-03T16:06:48Z")
Not worth starting a whole new thread, but may I put in a pukey smilie-face for the _Sad, Sad Music_ that our NBC affiliate used to accompany footage of the disaster? You know, it’s that same Hallmark Card Muzak Crap that they dragged out for 9/11 footage and Space Shuttle Explosion footage?
“Ohh, look, film of flooded cities and destroyed homes and crying babies and desperate starving refugees . . . How do I feel about this?”
[cue _Sad, Sad Music_]
“Oh! Right! Sad! I feel sad. Thank you, Channel 4!”
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### Author:  [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2005, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850/19 "2005-09-03T16:44:58Z")
His only weakness is a chair.
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### Author:  [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)
#### Post date: [September 4, 2005, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-fear-geraldo-is-here/319850/20 "2005-09-04T20:47:11Z")
Now he’s wading around in the flood water, talking about how disgusting it is. He’s wearing waders, he’s there by choice, there’s a boat 10’ away to take him wherever he wants to go, and he’s talking about how he’ll have to take a dozen showers to get rid of the “uckieness”. :rolleyes:
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