# Never had a girlfriend and nearly 30 **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 30, 2013, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995 "2013-09-30T13:05:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Quasimodal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/57b2e6/32.png) [@Quasimodal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodal)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/41 "2013-10-01T04:37:28Z")
My first GF was when I was 27. I went through a whirlwind of drama, passion, sex, way too much drama, and eventually a breakup. Now that it’s out of my system, I can really realize how awesome being single is. Don’t get me wrong, I’m looking for a suitable partner again, but if you made it to 30 while still being single, you probably got to do lots of things people who got hitched up early in their 20’s wish they had done. So enjoy it! Carefully listen to and watch people in staff rooms and at the water cooler. Do they have lots of energy or look tired all the time. You can have either as a single or in a couple, but as a single it’s much easier to have that positive energy (cause you are in control)…and it’s attractive! Might lead you to meeting someone. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![IndianStones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ebca7d/32.png) [@IndianStones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IndianStones)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/42 "2013-10-01T06:20:29Z")
yeah but this problem is actually a lot harder to accept when you know women find you attractive ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/43 "2013-10-01T06:42:51Z")
Even if you’re the handsomest guy in the place, you’ll stay single if you don’t do something about it. The girl with the most fervent longing for you will end up with the average Joe who took the trouble to go through the rituals. In which case, I’m going against my earlier post. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/44 "2013-10-01T06:48:10Z")
> [@Quasimodal](#): > > My first GF was when I was 27. I went through a whirlwind of drama, passion, sex, way too much drama, and eventually a breakup. Now that it’s out of my system, I can really realize how awesome being single is. Don’t get me wrong, I’m looking for a suitable partner again, but if you made it to 30 while still being single, you probably got to do lots of things people who got hitched up early in their 20’s wish they had done. So enjoy it! I don’t think dating and having typical relationships in your early-mid 20s keeps anyone from doing anything. Sure, it probably would if you got married at 19 and had four kids by 25, but most people find the vast middle ground. I don’t know why we have to pretend like not dating at all until your late-20s or 30s is somehow advantageous. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/45 "2013-10-01T06:58:17Z")
> [@Blaster\_Master](#): > > It depends. Personally, before my first real relationship, I thought it was kind of weird, and when first getting into it, I was used to silence, so hearing her breath was distracting. But I quickly grew accustomed to her, and ultimately found it easier and comforting to sleep next to her. It wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine, because she had a habit of hogging covers and was always colder than me, so sometimes she’d be cold and I’d be hot and all that, but overall, it was nice. Never understood the “hogging the blankets” thing. My wife and I have been together for 30 years, sleeping in the same queen bed. But we’ve always had separate sheets and blankets.\* More specifically, I usually have a sheet and she has a sheet and two blankets. I don’t even try to understand how her personal thermostat works, as she’s much more likely to be overheated in situations where I’m perfectly comfortable. Anyway, suffice to say nothing about sleeping arrangements are, or should be, a deal-breaker. - Luckily, she is not one of those people who insists on matching sheets. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/46 "2013-10-01T08:22:08Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > Never understood the “hogging the blankets” thing. My wife and I have been together for 30 years, sleeping in the same queen bed. But we’ve always had separate sheets and blankets.\* More specifically, I usually have a sheet and she has a sheet and two blankets. I don’t even try to understand how her personal thermostat works, as she’s much more likely to be overheated in situations where I’m perfectly comfortable. I approve of this hijack. After nine years of marriage, we decided to ditch the large duvet and now we each have our own. He has a paper thin duvet, I have a thick downy one, and underneath I have my toasty electrical blanket. It may not be as romantic, but we sleep much more comfortably. And while I _am_ one of those people who insists on matching duvet covers, we just have matching one-person duvet covers. Much easier when doing laundry, too. ---
**Author:** ![sentrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac8455/32.png) [@sentrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sentrix)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/47 "2013-10-01T12:12:59Z")
by nature humans like dogs are pack animals. how do you interact otherwise with people op? ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/48 "2013-10-01T13:16:02Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > I don’t think dating and having typical relationships in your early-mid 20s keeps anyone from doing anything. Sure, it probably would if you got married at 19 and had four kids by 25, but most people find the vast middle ground. I don’t know why we have to pretend like not dating at all until your late-20s or 30s is somehow advantageous. This. It’s one thing to not want to get married at 19. It’s quite another to be almost thirty and never have had a girlfriend. And by “girlfriend”, I’m using the term extremely loosely. Look, all I’m saying is that the way the OP is talking about not wanting a girlfriend because they might fart in his tiny bed and make it dirty, it’s highly likely that his first “girlfriend” will be trapped in a well in his basement while he does the “mangina” dance to a Q Lazzarus song. “Marriage is an important part of getting ahead. It lets people know you’re not a homo. A married guy seems more stable. People see the ring, they think ‘at least somebody can stand the son of a bitch.’ Ladies see the ring, they know immediately that you must have some cash, and your cock must work.” –Captain Ellerby, The Departed ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/57b2e6/32.png) [@Quasimodal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodal)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/49 "2013-10-01T13:22:27Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > I don’t think dating and having typical relationships in your early-mid 20s keeps anyone from doing anything. Sure, it probably would if you got married at 19 and had four kids by 25, but most people find the vast middle ground. I don’t know why we have to pretend like not dating at all until your late-20s or 30s is somehow advantageous. It’s more just you have more of the ability to set your own schedule rather than being advantageous. Being in a relationship / dating just provides a different set of experiences. Time is a finite resource, and if you spent X amount of it doing an activity someone else wants to do (that perhaps you don’t enjoy so much…even though you enjoy being with the person) gives you less time to do an activity you completely and totally decided upon. Really it’s best just to realize what situation you have and make the best of it. Either style has it’s advantages and disadvantages. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/50 "2013-10-01T13:29:58Z")
I dated a woman last year who was a 40-year-old virgin. She’d never had a boyfriend before me. It didn’t go well; she wasn’t comfortable cuddling, didn’t know the body language, and was generally uncomfortable over the whole thing. I don’t think she was closeted gay, mostly because the profession she had chosen and the peer group she cultivated would have made it very easy to come out. It is, of course, extremely possible that she would have been much more comfortable with another guy as well (I’m not exactly George Clooney), but all in all, coming to the relationship game so late, my suspicion is that the instincts for relationships just didn’t develop for her like they do for most people (or she was asexual, which is a REAL possibility). I think it’s kind of like sports: the later you start, the more awkward it’s going to be. Good luck, mate. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/51 "2013-10-01T22:16:14Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > I approve of this hijack. After nine years of marriage, we decided to ditch the large duvet and now we each have our own. He has a paper thin duvet, I have a thick downy one, and underneath I have my toasty electrical blanket. It may not be as romantic, but we sleep much more comfortably. And while I _am_ one of those people who insists on matching duvet covers, we just have matching one-person duvet covers. Much easier when doing laundry, too. Cool, thanks. Yeah, my wife uses an electric blanket during the Chicago winter as well - while I’ll still be using just a sheet, or one blanket. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/52 "2013-10-02T03:12:22Z")
My best friend never had a steady girlfriend - flings and one night stands, sure, but not a GIRLFRIEND - until he was… gosh, I’m gonna say 34? 33? Between 33 and 35, anyway. Now he’s married with a kid and they’re happy as clams. You never know. ---
**Author:** ![Mrmanface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mrmanface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrmanface)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/53 "2013-10-02T13:41:23Z")
I’ve always wanted a GF, but I experienced an awful lot of rejection early on and just kind of gave up with it. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/54 "2013-10-02T13:44:20Z")
> [@Mrmanface](#): > > I’ve always wanted a GF, but I experienced an awful lot of rejection early on and just kind of gave up with it. Can you explain why you want a girlfriend? ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/55 "2013-10-02T13:46:19Z")
> [@Mrmanface](#): > > I’ve always wanted a GF, but I experienced an awful lot of rejection early on and just kind of gave up with it. What were you looking for in a relationship? What did you expect to get out of a relationship? What are you willing to bring on your side? ---
**Author:** ![Asympotically\_fat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e47c2d/32.png) [@Asympotically\_fat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asympotically_fat)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/56 "2013-10-02T18:12:53Z")
It’s one of those things that you can worry too much about, because if you allow yourself to become too frustrated or depressed about it then well…being frustrated and depressed isn’t the most attractive thing. Another thing to remember is that nobody has a right to have a girlfriend: they are a punishment imposed upon men for hubris. ---
**Author:** ![Mrmanface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mrmanface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrmanface)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/57 "2013-10-03T10:56:26Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > What were you looking for in a relationship? What did you expect to get out of a relationship? What are you willing to bring on your side? Probably at that point just someone to root and pay her share of the household bills. I think mostly it just comes down to sex, but other stuff doesn’t hurt either. I have nothing to offer apart from a big, strong, hairy chest, and strong muscular arms. Is that enough ? ---
**Author:** ![Mrmanface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mrmanface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrmanface)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/58 "2013-10-03T10:58:53Z")
> [@Asympotically\_fat](#): > > It’s one of those things that you can worry too much about, because if you allow yourself to become too frustrated or depressed about it then well…being frustrated and depressed isn’t the most attractive thing. > > Another thing to remember is that nobody has a right to have a girlfriend: they are a punishment imposed upon men for hubris. I know… but it is refreshing to know that others have had similar experiences and that I am not some sort of weird freak for not having a girlfriend by 30. The depression finished years ago. Now I just go between phases of total and utter coldness and periods of being a little more positive about things if not a touch sad. I get messages on a dating site every now and then but cannot bring myself to reply. ---
**Author:** ![CLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@CLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CLee)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/59 "2013-10-03T11:02:00Z")
You wrote this just now, didn’t you? Your answer is right over here in the other thread. > [@"A female's intelligence etc. is irrelevant to me..."](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/177): > > Aside from the obvious biological qualities… > > Women can be incredibly stupid and do lots of stupid shit. They’re much more focused on sex, in everything but having actual sexual intercourse. They’re just incomprehensibly moronic at times, they can be shallow to the extent that you wonder is there anyone home inside her head beside a fluttering mess of hormones and social conditioning, but we love them for it and the world would be a whole lot shittier without them. > > I love all the stupid stuff that women do and the way that even when they go to the gym, they must wear matching colors. They must do their hair and not only that have a set group of rotating work outfits. Then they carry around bottles of water, but don’t sweat and walk on the tread mill while reading Cleo articles about god knows what pointless crap. > > I don’t hate women. I don’t think women have less of an intellectual capacity than men. I just think that overall they prefer not to use it and prefer to focus on pictures of puppies on the internet and ways to make their own puppies look more appealing. > > When I think of the woman I one day dream to marry I don’t think of someone who can beat me at chess, I think of a warm, warm hearted individual who do all of the motherly/wifey things that make women so special. There is a lot to be said about a woman’s attention to detail and baking is also just so damned sexy. > > Sexiest thing a woman can do for me, bake me a cake. Save the political analogies for your girlfriends 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mrmanface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mrmanface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrmanface)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/60 "2013-10-03T11:06:00Z")
> [@CLee](#): > > You wrote this just now, didn’t you? Your answer is right over here in the other thread. I fail to see what you’re saying. Are you saying women don’t read Cleo at the gym ? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995.md?page=4)