# Never had a girlfriend and nearly 30 **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 30, 2013, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995 "2013-09-30T13:05:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![CLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@CLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CLee)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/61 "2013-10-03T11:09:32Z")
> [@Mrmanface](#): > > I fail to see what you’re saying. Are you saying women don’t read Cleo at the gym ? Your opinion of women isn’t nearly as high, apparently, as your opinion of yourself and you make an awful lot of assumptions based on observations rather than experience. Why in the world would you want companionship with someone you don’t consider your intellectual equal? Please, don’t bother. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/62 "2013-10-03T11:13:41Z")
> [@Mrmanface](#): > > I have nothing to offer apart from a big, strong, hairy chest, and strong muscular arms. > > Is that enough ? No, that’s not nearly enough. I can get that much from a gorilla. Muscles can be nice, but if all you’ve got to offer is muscles, it’s no wonder you’re having problems. ---
**Author:** ![Mrmanface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mrmanface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrmanface)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/63 "2013-10-03T11:16:49Z")
> [@CLee](#): > > Your opinion of women isn’t nearly as high, apparently, as your opinion of yourself and you make an awful lot of assumptions based on observations rather than experience. Why in the world would you want companionship with someone you don’t consider your intellectual equal? Please, don’t bother. Are you serious ? What has being an intellectual equal got to do with anything ? You either love someone or you don’t ? ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/64 "2013-10-03T11:17:22Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > And with the notion that most women will leave a man if he loses his money, well, most women don’t like that attitude. It’s always going to be possible to find lazy and greedy people, but a man in his late 20s dating contemporaries is pretty unlikely to find a woman with that attitude. I’ve met a few women for whom being able to support themselves financially was emotionally important for them - maybe because of a past relationship where they were dependent on someone. But for most women it’s not even an “issue”. _Of course_ they’re going to have their own career and be able to take care of themselves financially. All they’re looking for is a guy who can take care of himself too. In my experience young men are a lot more likely to have a problem/insecurity issues with a woman who makes as much or more money as they do than a young woman is to have issues with a man being a “shit provider”. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/65 "2013-10-03T11:30:40Z")
> [@Mrmanface](#): > > Are you serious ? What has being an intellectual equal got to do with anything ? You either love someone or you don’t ? It’s pretty hard to love someone you don’t respect, or someone who doesn’t respect you. What do you think love is? ---
**Author:** ![Mrmanface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mrmanface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrmanface)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/66 "2013-10-03T11:33:24Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > It’s pretty hard to love someone you don’t respect, or someone who doesn’t respect you. What do you think love is? So are you saying you only respect people of equal intelligence ? I think all people deserve respect as living, breathing, feeling creatures regardless of their level of intelligence. Love is no more than a shallow and primitive chemical reaction inside our brains, but it is one that I greatly desire to experience. ---
**Author:** ![Mrmanface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mrmanface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrmanface)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/67 "2013-10-03T11:35:39Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > No, that’s not nearly enough. I can get that much from a gorilla. Muscles can be nice, but if all you’ve got to offer is muscles, it’s no wonder you’re having problems. I don’t know then. What do women want ? ---
**Author:** ![truthSeeker2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7cd45c/32.png) [@truthSeeker2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/truthSeeker2)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/68 "2013-10-03T11:46:48Z")
> [@Mrmanface](#): > > I don’t know then. What do women want ? I guess women are same as us men, they also want companionship, truthworthiness, someone to talk to, some caring etc apart from sex. ---
**Author:** ![truthSeeker2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7cd45c/32.png) [@truthSeeker2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/truthSeeker2)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/69 "2013-10-03T12:09:33Z")
> [@Mrmanface](#): > > So are you saying you only respect people of equal intelligence ? I think all people deserve respect as living, breathing, feeling creatures regardless of their level of intelligence. > > Love is no more than a shallow and primitive chemical reaction inside our brains, but it is one that I greatly desire to experience. Based on whatever experiences i have, love with girlfriend is same as love with any family member(mother, father, brother, sister etc) or with some close truthworthy friend (for some not for everyone). Just that love with gf also has as an angle of sex involved and also the age group is usually same, so one likes the company of gf better. My point is very limited - love is the same and its not something you haven’t experienced. You should totally go for it as you’re feeling the desire. ---
**Author:** ![Waxwinged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c2a13f/32.png) [@Waxwinged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waxwinged)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/70 "2013-10-03T12:30:45Z")
To the OP: Looking at your most recent post in the "“A female’s intelligence etc. is irrelevant to me…” : > [@"A female's intelligence etc. is irrelevant to me..."](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-females-intelligence-etc-is-irrelevant-to-me/634556/177): > > Aside from the obvious biological qualities… > > Women can be incredibly stupid and do lots of stupid shit. They’re much more focused on sex, in everything but having actual sexual intercourse. They’re just incomprehensibly moronic at times, they can be shallow to the extent that you wonder is there anyone home inside her head beside a fluttering mess of hormones and social conditioning… … I’ve got to say, the problem is with your view of women, and they are not missing out on much. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/71 "2013-10-03T12:43:40Z")
> [@Mrmanface](#): > > I don’t know then. What do women want ? Kindness, humor, respect, honesty, fun, adventure, stability, family, affection, etc. Some may take out a few of those things (some don’t want children, some might but more emphasis on stability than adventure or vice versa). Put on ad on Craigslist- be honest. Say something like “this is who I am- [age, ballpark height/weight, vague job description, interests, activities, preferences], and I’d like to meet a [smart/fun/affectionate/honest/whatever] woman for a serious relationship”. Don’t focus too much on looks… sure, you can reject a woman who seriously turns you off, but if you obsess with looks, such that she has to be your perfect physical type or whatever, then you’re doomed to failure. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/72 "2013-10-03T12:45:18Z")
I’ll also say that the OP’s view of women is not going to help… women are just as diverse in intelligence, attitude, personality, etc, as men. Be sure you see a woman as a person, and not as a “chick” or something- that’s a start. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/73 "2013-10-03T12:50:33Z")
> [@Mrmanface](#): > > Love is no more than a shallow and primitive chemical reaction inside our brains, but it is one that I greatly desire to experience. Well, aren’t you quite the catch. Any girl would be lucky to stimulate a shallow and primitive chemical response in your brain. ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/74 "2013-10-03T12:58:04Z")
> [@Mrmanface](#): > > Probably at that point just someone to root and pay her share of the household bills. > > I think mostly it just comes down to sex, but other stuff doesn’t hurt either. In general, women (people, really) want to be equal partners in a relationship, and few people would be happy being relegated to this role. What you’re describing here isn’t a “relationship” the way most people on this board conceive of one. If this is _really_ what you’re looking for, your best bet is to find a roommate to take on half the bills and spend some of that money on prostitutes. ---
**Author:** ![Mrmanface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mrmanface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrmanface)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/75 "2013-10-03T13:13:38Z")
> [@Enginerd](#): > > In general, women (people, really) want to be equal partners in a relationship, and few people would be happy being relegated to this role. What you’re describing here isn’t a “relationship” the way most people on this board conceive of one. If this is _really_ what you’re looking for, your best bet is to find a roommate to take on half the bills and spend some of that money on prostitutes. Women want to be equal partners ? Okay… since when ? I thought they wanted someone superior. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/76 "2013-10-03T13:20:10Z")
> [@Mrmanface](#): > > Women want to be equal partners ? Okay… since when ? I thought they wanted someone superior. Since Lilith, so you are quite wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Mrmanface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mrmanface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrmanface)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/77 "2013-10-03T13:20:33Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I’ll also say that the OP’s view of women is not going to help… women are just as diverse in intelligence, attitude, personality, etc, as men. Be sure you see a woman as a person, and not as a “chick” or something- that’s a start. I’m not sure how. I once believed all that guff and I was a fool to think that it is true. There is a lot to be said about how Americans want to view the world and the way the world really is. ---
**Author:** ![CLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@CLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CLee)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/78 "2013-10-03T13:22:50Z")
> [@Mrmanface](#): > > Women want to be equal partners ? Okay… since when ? I thought they wanted someone superior. There’s your problem. You’ve set the bar impossibly high for yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Mrmanface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mrmanface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrmanface)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/79 "2013-10-03T13:22:56Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > Since Lilith, so you are quite wrong. Maybe I just haven’t me the right ones. How does it work, that you’re equals or equal in the sense of what is mine is mine and what is yours is mine ? ---
**Author:** ![Mrmanface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mrmanface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrmanface)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995/80 "2013-10-03T13:27:29Z")
> [@CLee](#): > > There’s your problem. You’ve set the bar impossibly high for yourself. I don’t think that is the case. I just kept getting rejected. I suspected it was because I was not particularly good looking, but looking back at my photos I was very skinny back then, so women probably didn’t feel safe. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-had-a-girlfriend-and-nearly-30/669995.md?page=5)