# "Never make a pretty woman your wife" song? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 17, 2013, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575 "2013-02-17T03:53:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2013, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/21 "2013-02-18T00:35:03Z")
Some of the women with the worst personalities I’ve seen were pretty damn ugly on the outside too. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2013, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/22 "2013-02-18T00:38:54Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > Some of the women with the worst personalities I’ve seen were pretty damn ugly on the outside too. You don’t say! Yesterday I saw a blue bus. Isn’t that just the craziest! ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2013, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/23 "2013-02-18T00:53:20Z")
Yup, pretty mundane and pointless \*_looks up_ \* ohhh… IMHO? So, **JohnClay**. What kind of opinions are you looking for? ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2013, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/24 "2013-02-18T02:22:05Z")
I have the feeling that JohnClay is hypercritical. The HUGE belly is probably just a small belly by most people’s standards. I have my doubts that he’s the best aesthetic judge - especially because I seem to recall him saying that she had a variety of other options. I want to respect the anonymous nature of this forum (and that this thread practically demands), but I’d really like to see a picture of the two of them. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2013, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/25 "2013-02-18T02:45:47Z")
> [@colander](#): > > You don’t say! Yesterday I saw a blue bus. Isn’t that just the craziest! It could be. You seem to know a lot about buses and people with shitty personality. Do go on. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2013, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/26 "2013-02-18T03:15:39Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > It could be. You seem to know a lot about buses and people with shitty personality. Do go on. Oh, snap! Looks like I just got bus-ted! ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2013, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/27 "2013-02-18T07:26:07Z")
> [@Meatros](#): > > Johnclay, I think you might have issues with how attractive you perceive your wife to be. You’ve been fixated on this topic more than once it appears. I have vague memories of that prior thread, and I think that, perhaps for you, you should have made a “pretty” woman your wife. Of course I’d want to do that but my wife is by far the best I can do (taking into account everything such as how affectionate and fun she is) btw a while ago I said she was “pretty pretty”. She didn’t like that comment and complained to my mum about it but I stood by my comment. Btw I’ve given her many “worlds best lover” trophies/medals/door hanger. I seriously think it applies to her. I’d rather marry and stay together forever with a great lover than a gorgeous woman who lacks that. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2013, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/28 "2013-02-18T07:54:58Z")
> [@Meatros](#): > > What do you mean by “lack of tendons”? Maybe I’m having a brain fart here, but what do you mean? Can you link to a picture of the converse? A tendon-laden neck? See [http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/4497/photomiddef1734563ez5.jpg](http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/4497/photomiddef1734563ez5.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2013, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/29 "2013-02-18T07:58:32Z")
> [@Meatros](#): > > I have the feeling that JohnClay is hypercritical. The HUGE belly is probably just a small belly by most people’s standards. Her legs, arms, and butt are thin, but her waist is 44 inches. (She said that at the wedding it was 46 inches. BTW my waist is 34 inches. I’m quite skinny but have a bit of a belly. (yes that is a bit hypercritical) ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2013, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/30 "2013-02-18T08:01:05Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > Yup, pretty mundane and pointless > \*_looks up_ \* > ohhh… IMHO? > > So, **JohnClay**. What kind of opinions are you looking for? Info about the song… e.g. another version: Kid Creole & The Coconuts - If You Want To Be Happy [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/v0VpjksjJrw/maxresdefault.jpg "Kid Creole & The Coconuts - If You Want To Be Happy") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0VpjksjJrw) Or opinions on the concept - that it is a bad idea to marry a pretty woman… ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2013, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/31 "2013-02-18T08:02:16Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > You should consider a blog, my friend. Whatever it is that you find so pleasing about endlessly telling us how **not** hot your wife is, just creeps us out. I remember each manifestation, they were each distinctly awkward and base. Yuck! > > Seriously, a blog. You’ll be happy, and we’ll be delighted for you. I’ve done it before… the details would probably shock you. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2013, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/32 "2013-02-18T08:07:48Z")
> [@colander](#): > > He is saying that her neck is fat. Pretty much every single post that he has made can be summed up in similar terms. I’m thinking of drafting up a drinking game rulesheet! Her neck isn’t fat - it just has enough fat to hide the tendons - I also like bodies that are just fat enough to hide the bones (her belly is way too fat though) - but the back of her hands have enough fat to hide the tendons as well. Unlike this: [http://aphotoaday.sandhillsnaps.org/wp-content/blogs.dir/3/files/a-photo-a-day/hand.jpg](http://aphotoaday.sandhillsnaps.org/wp-content/blogs.dir/3/files/a-photo-a-day/hand.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2013, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/33 "2013-02-18T08:15:51Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > Her neck isn’t fat - it just has enough fat to hide the tendons - I also like bodies that are just fat enough to hide the bones (her belly is way too fat though) - but the back of her hands have enough fat to hide the tendons as well. > Unlike this: > [http://aphotoaday.sandhillsnaps.org/wp-content/blogs.dir/3/files/a-photo-a-day/hand.jpg](http://aphotoaday.sandhillsnaps.org/wp-content/blogs.dir/3/files/a-photo-a-day/hand.jpg) Right, that one was worth a hot toddy, four shots of Jager and a good, long sniff of model glue. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2013, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/34 "2013-02-18T09:43:32Z")
BTW today we had a conversation that went a bit like this: “…You could just stay the weight you are” “But I want to look sexy for you” (I’m worried that if she goes on a diet she might gain even more weight over time which is very common in others I think) ---
**Author:** ![Doggo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/87869e/32.png) [@Doggo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doggo)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2013, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/35 "2013-02-18T10:04:02Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > BTW I think me and my wife will be very faithful… (she says she wants to stay with me forever and also has a higher sex drive than me, etc) unlike about 1/4 or more of couples that cheat even though they might think the other partner is very hot/beautiful… (e.g. many famous couples) Just because someone has good bone structure and skin, it doesn’t make them a good person. Too many people make the mistake of thinking that because someone is attractive, they must be the perfect partner. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2013, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/36 "2013-02-18T13:24:51Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > See > [ImageShack - Best place for all of your image hosting and image sharing needs](http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/4497/photomiddef1734563ez5.jpg) That is probably something that I never really consider. Can you do me a favor and list out some qualities that you find beautiful (ie, people who have x, y, and z are 10’s in my book)? ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2013, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/37 "2013-02-18T13:28:13Z")
> [@](#): > > Quote: > Originally Posted by elbows > You should consider a blog, my friend. Whatever it is that you find so pleasing about endlessly telling us how not hot your wife is, just creeps us out. I remember each manifestation, they were each distinctly awkward and base. Yuck! > > Seriously, a blog. You’ll be happy, and we’ll be delighted for you. > I’ve done it before… the details would probably shock you. You’ve, not surprisingly, entirely missed the point, as usual. What you never tire of returning here to tell us, about your wife is inappropriate, and belongs on a blog, not a message board. Every time you return to blather on about the intimate details of your life, our opinion of you drops. Initially I just thought you were a little dim and socially maladjusted. But you’re really just a one note song, over and over the same ill received creepiness. Do yourself and us a favour and get a blog, please! You’re not really discussing or conversing. You seem to just be grooving on shocking people with your gross treatment of your wife. It’s beginning to seem like creeping people out is what makes you happy. Only you though! Blogs were created exactly for that very sort of self indulgent jerking off. Get one. Use it. Please. You’d be doing yourself a big favour, in my opinion. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2013, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/38 "2013-02-18T13:30:28Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > Of course I’d want to do that but my wife is by far the best I can do (taking into account everything such as how **affectionate and fun she is** ) btw a while ago I said she was “pretty pretty”. She didn’t like that comment and complained to my mum about it but I stood by my comment. Btw I’ve given her many “worlds best lover” trophies/medals/door hanger. I seriously think it applies to her. I’d rather marry and stay together forever with a great lover than a gorgeous woman who lacks that. You know, reading this thread and your previous one, it gives me the impression that the reason you married your wife is because you felt you couldn’t do better and she was simply a means to an end. As though you objectify her and that’s all she’s worth. Not to be mean, but you come off rather badly. That said, I read the above and I feel like there is more to this story - it’s just not what you are focusing on in these threads.maybe to balance things out a bit, but can you give us an example of the sweetest thing you’ve done for your wife (non sexual)? ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/39 "2013-02-19T01:45:27Z")
> [@Meatros](#): > > …can you give us an example of the sweetest thing you’ve done for your wife (non sexual)? Well I did give her trophies, medals and a door hanger for being the world’s greatest lover… for Valentine’s day I gave her a card that said “Guess who loves you today?” “The same person who loves you every day except today you get a card”. I guess that is a bit sexual… well I also helped use an epilator on her legs and use a rough bit of something to try and remove the hard bits on her feet. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/40 "2013-02-19T01:52:54Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > …What you never tire of returning here to tell us, about your wife is inappropriate, and belongs on a blog, not a message board. I think this thread is one of the first ones I’ve talked about being married. > [@](#): > > Every time you return to blather on about the intimate details of your life, our opinion of you drops. So you’re saying that people’s opinions have only gotten worse since my Satan/etc threads? > [@](#): > > Initially I just thought you were a little dim and socially maladjusted. > **[I'm Satan at the moment](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=406060)** > > Hi, I’m Satan at this point in time and I know the secrets of life. THE LAW OF REALITY EVERYTHING happens for a Good logical reason. The secret of eternal life on earth is to not break any commandments in the Bible, tempt others, be selfish, don’t... Check out: “Hi, I’m Satan at this point in time and I know the secrets of life…” > [@](#): > > But you’re really just a one note song, over and over the same ill received creepiness. Not really… in the past I made threads like this: > **[How to play the game of life....](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=405872)** > > Thanks for only locking but not deleting these previous threads: I didn’t actually read your rules. You see I believe that I have a socionics ENTp Einstein-type personality. I am the author of what I linked to (which I’m not allowed to link to... Then I got my first girlfriend. Then I broke up with her. Then I got together with her again and she became my wife… > [@](#): > > You’re not really discussing or conversing. You seem to just be grooving on shocking people with your gross treatment of your wife. I live with a guy who treats his fiance way worse than I’ve ever treated my wife… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575.md?page=3)