# "Never make a pretty woman your wife" song? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 17, 2013, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575 "2013-02-17T03:53:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/61 "2013-02-20T00:42:46Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > But if she even inherits 5 million dollars she’ll be a solid 10. No she’d still be a 5. That score is only for her looks including her body… unless she used some of that money to do a lot of cosmetic surgery… ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/62 "2013-02-20T01:12:45Z")
I’ve never met an ugly rich girl. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/63 "2013-02-20T01:42:41Z")
We know how you feel about the fat deposits around her neck and on her hands. But what about the depth of her ear canals? the angle between her lower leg and foot? the number and location of every freckle on her body? the precise measurement of distance from her retina to her cornea?? Lacking that information, there’s no way to tell whether you might have done better. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/64 "2013-02-20T01:51:07Z")
LOL ---
**Author:** ![Nikki9doors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c77e96/32.png) [@Nikki9doors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nikki9doors)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/65 "2013-02-20T03:06:31Z")
Statistically speaking, relationships tend to last longer when the man in the relationship is better looking than the woman. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/66 "2013-02-20T03:14:25Z")
> [@Nikki9doors](#): > > Statistically speaking, relationships tend to last longer when the man in the relationship is better looking than the woman. 😃 Well my wife tells me often that I’m the best looking man in the world, that I’m gorgeous, etc. (while I’ve said she’s “pretty pretty” or “cute”) She also tells me that other people such as her friends and relatives think I’m good looking. When I say I love her she sometimes says “I love you more” - I don’t disagree - I just say something like “I love you a lot”. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/67 "2013-02-20T03:43:02Z")
> [@colander](#): > > Guys, we have been down this road before and trust me, it is exactly as it seems at first glance. You will find no redemptive revelation at the end of the **JohnClay** journey. It is like a tarbaby, only fatter. Well I’m somewhat well behaved… I’ve never said much bad about someone to their face, I virtually never swear (only rarely when I’m quoting someone), I say things like “thankyou” quite a lot, I haven’t been cruel except to pets, about the only times I’ve caused people to cry was when I was mentally ill (a girl feared for her life), when I said to my girlfriend (now wife) that I wanted her to go home (I thought it would be a good idea to end the visit early on a “high” note) and when I told my sister I didn’t want her 16 Gb USB drive present because I assumed the transfer rate would be too slow. I also was the top of my class in high school but failed a lot of third year math subjects at university. I have quite a few friends and people I know seem to have a pretty high opinion of me. (They think I’m intelligent and sometimes well-mannered). I used to be a young-earth creationist but I told “God” that I wanted to know the truth even if it was depressing. A few months later I got in contact with an ex-creationist and he convinced me that the world is billions of years old and that God probably doesn’t exist. I don’t think I’m that bad though I used identify strongly with the Radiohead song “Creep”. I used to be obsessed about various good looking girls but with help from some self-help resources I didn’t worry so much about getting a “perfect” girl. (PUA’s don’t think the girls they sleep with are “perfect” [or at least that’s their mindset during their sarges]) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/68 "2013-02-20T03:54:04Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > No her neck doesn’t look fat… it looks nice like this one: > [http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DDVbBb2EsjM/TshUbVIJf\_I/AAAAAAAACdM/NQP1VIV6Bf4/s1600/la-phys.nice-neck-250.jpg](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DDVbBb2EsjM/TshUbVIJf_I/AAAAAAAACdM/NQP1VIV6Bf4/s1600/la-phys.nice-neck-250.jpg) Goiterous. Get the test. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/69 "2013-02-20T04:56:52Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > Well I’m somewhat well behaved… I’ve never said much bad about someone to their face, I virtually never swear (only rarely when I’m quoting someone), I say things like “thankyou” quite a lot, I haven’t been **cruel except to pets,** what the ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/70 "2013-02-20T05:01:56Z")
> [@colander](#): > > what the I mostly regret being cruel to pets, except when I was just having a little fun teasing them a little. I’m not claiming that I’m perfectly good - I just think I am quite good - at least when I’m not on these messageboards. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/71 "2013-02-20T05:25:48Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > I mostly regret being cruel to pets, except when I was just having a little fun teasing them a little. I’m not claiming that I’m perfectly good - I just think I am quite good - at least when I’m not on these messageboards. How’s that working out for you? ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/72 "2013-02-20T05:45:13Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > How’s that working out for you? Fine… I haven’t been mentally unwell for about 5+ years and I’ve been off of anti-depressants since I started dating my wife. I basically like my life. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/73 "2013-02-20T06:29:07Z")
Why wouldn’t you? You show your wife you care by buying her fuel and are only cruel to pets. Sounds like paradise! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/74 "2013-02-20T07:17:06Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > only rarely when I’m quoting someone), I say things like “thankyou” quite a lot, I haven’t been cruel except to pets :eek: > [@](#): > > about the only times I’ve caused people to cry was when I was mentally ill (a girl feared for her life), I find both of these quotes disturbing as all get out. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/75 "2013-02-20T07:18:18Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > …You show your wife you care by buying her fuel… A fairly popular book is “The 5 love languages” > **[Discover Your Love Language® - The 5 Love Languages®](https://5lovelanguages.com/)** > > The 5 Love Languages® Quiz is easy, insightful, and always free. Learn your love language, and get equipped to build a love that lasts. - Words of affirmation - Acts of service - Receiving gifts - Quality time - Physical touch I do all of those things and I think random offers to pay for fuel (sometimes more generous than other times) covers acts of service and receiving gifts. (I also do other things related to those 2 “love languages”) ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/76 "2013-02-20T07:24:34Z")
He mishead the wedding vows and thought he was swearing eternal fuelty… it happens. > [@kayaker](#): > > Goiterous. Get the test. I believe the technical term is “goiterrific!” ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/77 "2013-02-20T07:59:27Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > **“I haven’t been cruel except to pets”** > > :eek: My pet cruelty included throwing balls at one, getting them wet against their will, holding them upside down by their legs, and brief inappropriate rubbing. BTW not that many centuries ago the wellbeing of animals wasn’t a big deal. > [@](#): > > **“about the only times I’ve caused people to cry was when I was mentally ill (a girl feared for her life),”** > > I find both of these quotes disturbing as all get out. I’ve had a history of doing what other people told me to do. Many years ago I got a sharp floating fishing knife that I was fond of and a flatmate (in a 8 bedroom flat) told me to wave it at the girl I was obsessed with. So I walked to her room, said “hi [name]” and waved the knife. She seemed to be happy the whole time. This is a girl that another guy told me he couldn’t “read” - i.e. she is good at masking her true feelings. Later I got in trouble with the head of residence and he said she had been crying to her mother about it. Perhaps I’m a bit worse than most people a large percentage is a lot worse than me. I try to be truthful, etc, unlike people who cheat: [http://www.catalogs.com/info/relationships/percentage-of-married-couples-who-cheat-on-each-ot.html](http://www.catalogs.com/info/relationships/percentage-of-married-couples-who-cheat-on-each-ot.html) > [@](#): > > …according to the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, approximately 50 percent married women and 60 percent of married men will have an extramarital affair at some time in their marriage… ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/78 "2013-02-20T09:38:02Z")
> [@Nikki9doors](#): > > Statistically speaking, relationships tend to last longer when the man in the relationship is better looking than the woman. Source? ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/79 "2013-02-20T13:48:19Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > 😃 Well my wife tells me often that I’m the best looking man in the world, that I’m gorgeous, etc. (while I’ve said she’s “pretty pretty” or “cute”) She also tells me that other people such as her friends and relatives think I’m good looking. When I say I love her she sometimes says “I love you more” - I don’t disagree - I just say something like “I love you a lot”. I’m curious as to why you don’t think you could actually get any better. Why do you think your wife is the only one that will have you? ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/80 "2013-02-20T14:28:08Z")
Just when you think you’ve seen and heard all the creepy that is the OP, he manages to push it to new heights! These revelations are not endearing you to anyone. You’re only making it worse. Get a blog and spare us hearing all about how there are people worse, and you’re better than you used to be. And ‘used to be’ mentally ill. In the same paragraph wherein you admit brandish a knife, scaring some young coed, because someone suggested it to you? You’re just making it worse. And I, for one, think that’s what you groove on. Which makes you appear to be just another, much creepier, attention whore. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575.md?page=5)