# "Never make a pretty woman your wife" song? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 17, 2013, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575 "2013-02-17T03:53:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/81 "2013-02-20T14:52:21Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > My pet cruelty included throwing balls at one, getting them wet against their will, holding them upside down by their legs, and **brief inappropriate rubbing.** Oh, do tell more. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/82 "2013-02-20T16:38:16Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Oh, do tell more. Please _don’t_. > [@JohnClay](#): > > My pet cruelty included throwing balls at one, getting them wet against their will, holding them upside down by their legs, and brief inappropriate rubbing. BTW not that many centuries ago the wellbeing of animals wasn’t a big deal. A few centuries ago, the well-being of blacks and women wasn’t a big deal, either. Too bad for you this is the 21st century. ---
**Author:** ![Jungian\_Camisole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8baadc/32.png) [@Jungian\_Camisole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jungian_Camisole)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2013, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/83 "2013-02-21T01:28:38Z")
Dude, stop. Just stop. How do you think she would feel were she to read this thread? Step back and just take a look. You’re saying a lot of mean and borderline cruel things about her. Are these things you would say out loud to her? ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2013, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/84 "2013-02-21T03:08:35Z")
Colander, how many shots do we take for him admitting to animal cruelty or making someone fear for their lives? ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2013, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/85 "2013-02-21T03:13:57Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > Colander, how many shots do we take for him admitting to animal cruelty or making someone fear for their lives? Looks like it’s time to break out the grain alcohol and the enema tubing. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2013, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/86 "2013-02-21T03:20:01Z")
> [@colander](#): > > Looks like it’s time to break out the grain alcohol and the enema tubing. :eek: Why do I keep coming back to this thread!? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![MacCat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maccat/32/216_2.png) [@MacCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacCat)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2013, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/87 "2013-02-21T03:41:09Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > We have sex in the dark and she manually gives me an erection so how attractive she isn’t everything… though I’d prefer she was attractive so that I could honestly compliment her about that. turn on the light. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2013, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/88 "2013-02-21T10:08:06Z")
> [@Jungian\_Camisole](#): > > Dude, stop. Just stop. > > How do you think she would feel were she to read this thread? Step back and just take a look. You’re saying a lot of mean and borderline cruel things about her. Are these things you would say out loud to her? I feel like these forums are a bit like a therapist (BTW I see psychiatrists/case workers/etc) - I don’t censor myself too much. BTW I have an incredibly low opinion of her brother… I never have told him so though I did suggest to his fiance that she break up with him. You don’t have to always tell people the full truth… I mean in Nazi Germany, some people would even _lie_ about whether there were Jews hiding in their house. According to some sources about 50% of people in marriages cheat… that’s worse than me thinking and privately discussing “borderline cruel” things about my wife. She knows I dislike her big belly though. Though she beats it like a drum and lately prefers to have sex in the dark. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2013, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/89 "2013-02-21T10:10:57Z")
> [@MacCat](#): > > turn on the light. We always used to have sex during the day but she prefers it to be dark. We sometimes do it during the day these days. When it is dark it is more mysterious and I can concentrate more on the sensations. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2013, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/90 "2013-02-21T10:15:03Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > Colander, how many shots do we take for him admitting to animal cruelty or making someone fear for their lives? That girl cried and perhaps feared for her life… but there was another case of someone fearing me: On a secret PUA forum: > [@](#): > > this reminds me of johnclay > does anyone else remember him? > > I was nice to him on the forums once(before he got banned) > and he sent me the craziest most fucked up email about what he’d been doing lately… > (police locking him up, hiding in dumpster, scary religious ceremonies.. i really cant remember the specifics though) and then he offered to meet up with me. > > I feared for my life lol… ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2013, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/91 "2013-02-21T10:24:25Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Just when you think you’ve seen and heard all the creepy that is the OP, he manages to push it to new heights! > > These revelations are not endearing you to anyone. Yes they are, though not on these forums so much. > [@](#): > > You’re only making it worse. Get a blog and spare us hearing all about how there are people worse, and you’re better than you used to be. But it’s true. > [@](#): > > And ‘used to be’ mentally ill. I still have the illness - and get heaps of money from the government for it. I mean I haven’t been hospitalized or had anti-depressants or been psychotic for a few years. I still am on 3 psychiatric medications so I’m not cured. > [@](#): > > In the same paragraph wherein you admit brandish a knife, scaring some young coed, because someone suggested it to you? That happened shortly before the first time I was hospitalized, in the year 2000. > [@](#): > > You’re just making it worse. And I, for one, think that’s what you groove on. Which makes you appear to be just another, much creepier, attention whore. This kind of attention whoring happened a lot more often in the past. At the present I still say things that I think might be taken negatively but that’s because I’m not trying to avoid all forms of conflict and I don’t crave a lot of approval. So I do rock the boat a bit but not enough so that I get in trouble with the mods. (I did get in trouble with the mods when I was creating threads about me being Satan) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2013, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/92 "2013-02-21T13:18:29Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > I still have the illness - and get heaps of money from the government for it. Cool! ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/93 "2013-02-27T09:06:35Z")
> [@Nikki9doors](#): > > Statistically speaking, relationships tend to last longer when the man in the relationship is better looking than the woman. I sent Nikki9doors about this and didn’t get a reply… so I did a search on the Internet and found this: > **[Want A Happy Marriage? Be More Attractive Than Your Husband](https://www.psypost.org/happy-marriage-attractive-husband/)** > > According to research published in the Journal of Family Psychology, marriages in which the wife was more attractive than the husband tended to be more satisfactory whereas marriages in which the husband was more attractive than the wife tended to be... > [@](#): > > …how did wives behave when their husbands were more attractive than them? Surprisingly, they tended to behave more negatively towards their husband than women who had husband who were less attractive than them. ---
**Author:** ![Blue\_Mood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@Blue\_Mood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Mood)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/94 "2013-02-27T09:44:23Z")
\*\* > [@JohnClay](#): > > Now she just said not to write about her on the messageboards… \*\* So why are you? Respect your wife’s wishes, and stop writing about her here. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/95 "2013-02-27T09:55:22Z")
> [@Blue\_Mood](#): > > So why are you? Respect your wife’s wishes, and stop writing about her here. I’m writing about her here because I want to. I don’t have to automatically obey her every whim. BTW today she sent me a message to my phone: > [@](#): > > I love u so much. I cant believe that i got such a good husband. I love u dearly. Love [name]xxoo I don’t want to seem _too_ perfect… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/96 "2013-02-27T12:04:57Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > I don’t want to seem _too_ perfect… 🙂 You have absolutely nothing to worry about. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2013, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/97 "2013-03-02T02:36:32Z")
> [@Meatros](#): > > …I want to respect the anonymous nature of this forum (and that this thread practically demands), but I’d really like to see a picture of the two of them. Here’s a picture of my boobs and belly… it’s about 34 inches (my wife’s is about 44 inches) [noparse][http://pictat.com/i/2013/3/2/40449feb272011.jpg[/noparse]](http://pictat.com/i/2013/3/2/40449feb272011.jpg%5B/noparse%5D) [NSFW] ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2013, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/98 "2013-03-02T02:41:48Z")
I’ve uploaded this photo of me and my wife before but I’m not sure what the old url was: [![](https://pictat.com/i/2013/3/2/39809kissing.jpg) ](https://pictat.com/i/2013/3/2/39809kissing.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2013, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/99 "2013-03-02T02:44:16Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > I don’t want to seem _too_ perfect… 🙂 Ibid ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2013, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575/100 "2013-03-02T03:13:09Z")
> [@](#): > > I love u so much. I cant believe that i got such a good husband. I love u dearly. Love [name]xxoo The lady doth protest too much, methinks. (I’ve been waiting a LONG LONG time to use that quote the actually RIGHT way) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/never-make-a-pretty-woman-your-wife-song/650575.md?page=6)