# New and Improved... Best Movie Lines! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 16, 1999, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-best-movie-lines/12920 "1999-12-16T21:28:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 1999, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-best-movie-lines/12920/41 "1999-12-30T00:33:00Z")
“No one knows who they were…or what…they were doing.” “This one goes to eleven” “You better start getting more personally involved in your work, or I’m gonna stab you in the heart with a f\*\*\*ing pencil!” “I can’t spell VW, but I got a Porsche, 'cause I’m a blonde” “Picked the wrong goddamm rec room to break into, dincha!” ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 1999, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-best-movie-lines/12920/42 "1999-12-30T14:54:00Z")
“Dad, how can you hate _the Colonel_?” “Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes you crave it fortnightly, smartass!” * * * He weathered a firestorm of agony and did not break. And while Yori raged against his unbending courage, we took Kyuden Hiruma back. His loss is great, but so is the gift his suffering brought. -_Yakamo’s Funeral_ ---
**Author:** ![Moonshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Moonshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonshine)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 1999, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-best-movie-lines/12920/43 "1999-12-30T16:00:00Z")
“Dying ain’t much of a living, son” The Outlaw Josie Wales ---
**Author:** ![PitBullDawg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@PitBullDawg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PitBullDawg)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 1999, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-best-movie-lines/12920/44 "1999-12-31T07:45:00Z")
Does he look like a bitch? - Jules to Brett, Pulp Fiction Well let’s not start sucking each others dicks quite yet. The Wolf to Jules, Vincent & Jimmy, Pulp Fiction You know why it’s not there? Because it ain’t fucking there because storing dead niggers ain’t my business. That’s why! Jimmy to Jules, Pulp Fiction * * * The ever insensitive, politically incorrect PitBullDawg. Political correctness is a disease. Cure it with the truth. ---
**Author:** ![beerman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85e7bf/32.png) [@beerman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beerman)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2000, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-best-movie-lines/12920/45 "2000-01-01T06:12:00Z")
## I hate Illinois Nazis What about his diptet Hi? You keep using that word,I don’t think it means what you think it does. We need guns,lots of guns Viva La Dos Equis! ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2000, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-best-movie-lines/12920/46 "2000-01-01T00:12:00Z")
From “2001”; the one I use for my WIN98 exit wav : “My mind is going. I can feel it.” * * * Saint Eutychus [www.disneyshorts.org](http://www.disneyshorts.org) ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2000, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-best-movie-lines/12920/47 "2000-01-01T00:18:00Z")
## “Do you have any tobacco William Blake?” “Blessed are the cheese makers” “Dave, what are you doing?” “Charlie don’t surf” “I’ll need guns” “Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?” “I’m having an old friend for dinner” See those stars over there? That is the Little Dipper. I’d show you the Big Dipper, but my zipper is stuck. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2000, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-best-movie-lines/12920/48 "2000-01-01T13:30:00Z")
“Mama always said, stupid is as stupid does.” “Come with me if you want to live.” “These look like big… strong hands… don’t they?” “Never tell me the odds!” Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck!" “Fmmfmf ffmmffmf fmff fmf, fmff fmf ff fmf!” “You may be a King, or just a street sweeper, but sooner or later you’ll dance with the Reaper!” * * * **-PIGEONMAN-** Hero For A New Millennium! [The Legend Of PigeonMan](http://www.hotkey.net.au/~guanolad/pigeonman/) - **Back in the new year!** Honest. I promise. No, really. ---
**Author:** ![dekayx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@dekayx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dekayx)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2000, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-best-movie-lines/12920/49 "2000-01-01T16:23:00Z")
I love the smell of napalm in the morning… ---
**Author:** ![AuraSeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@AuraSeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuraSeer)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2000, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-best-movie-lines/12920/50 "2000-01-02T08:52:00Z")
From _GalaxyQuest_: “Well, that was a hell of a thing.” ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-best-movie-lines/12920/51 "2000-01-19T03:35:00Z")
My favorite line in GQ is in the trailer: “It’s a rock! It doesn’t _have_ a vulnerable spot!” * * * \>\< DARWIN \> \_\_ **L\_\_\_L** ---
**Author:** ![Thirsty4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@Thirsty4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thirsty4)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-best-movie-lines/12920/52 "2000-01-19T17:35:00Z")
From Pleasantville ## “We’re safe now. We’re in a bowling alley.” “You CAN’T be evil. 'Cos no matter how many ‘bad’ things you do on purpose, you MUST be doing it because you think it’s the right thing to do.” ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2000, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-best-movie-lines/12920/53 "2000-01-20T06:13:00Z")
“Well hellooooo, Mr. Fancy Pants. I got news for you, pal. You ain’t leadin’ but two things right now: Jack and Shit, and Jack left town.” - Army of Darkness “I’m out of it for a little while, and everybody gets delusions of grandeur.” - Return of the Jedi “Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a god, you say ‘YES’!” - Ghostbusters “Conan, what is best in life?” “To crush your enemies! To see them driven before you and to hear the lamentations of their women!” - obvious ## Also, just about anything in a Kevin Smith movie. ## (to borrow a sig)The Poster Formerly Unknown as Rodimus “Are you frightened of snakes?” “Only when they dress like werewolves.” -Preacher ---
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2000, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-best-movie-lines/12920/54 "2000-01-20T22:37:00Z")
Ok, so the rest of the movie bit, but still: “I’ll cut his heart out with a spoon.” “Why a spoon?” “Because it will hurt more, you twit!” Also from the inimitable Alan Rickman: [Reading] “Now, I have a machine gun. Ho…ho…ho.” Madeline Kahn: “I hated him so much, that he…burning, BURNING…it…breathless, heaving breaths…[trails off confusedly]” Harbey Keitel, polite yet oh so menacing: “What did you say? I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. Could you please repeat it?” Ed Harris: “Knew this was a one-way ticket when I left. Love you…wife.” – Justin [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-best-movie-lines/12920.md?page=2)