# New and improved donuts - no need to chew!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [July 23, 2004, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598 "2004-07-23T23:11:31Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@sunfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunfish)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598/1 "2004-07-23T23:11:31Z")
Krispy Kreme has now come out with a donut you can drink, in case you’re feeling too lazy to move your jaw:
[http://money.cnn.com/2004/07/21/news/midcaps/krispy\_kreme/index.htm](http://money.cnn.com/2004/07/21/news/midcaps/krispy_kreme/index.htm)
I found this comment to be priceless:
> [@](#):
>
> The Winston-Salem, N.C.-based company said it currently does not have plans to introduce low-carb versions of the new drinks.
If you’re drinking a donut, I don’t think you’re going to be too worried about the carbs. 😛
---
### Author:  [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598/2 "2004-07-23T23:15:09Z")
Mmmmm, liquid doughnut!
[/droooool]
🙂
---
### Author:  [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598/3 "2004-07-23T23:19:39Z")
(stunned silence)
---
### Author:  [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598/4 "2004-07-23T23:23:37Z")
Hell, I’ll try one.
---
### Author:  [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598/5 "2004-07-23T23:32:44Z")
I can’t wait to see Homer Simpson encounter these.
---
### Author:  [@Beauty\_Personified](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beauty_Personified)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2004, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598/6 "2004-07-24T00:14:01Z")
I’m reminded of Bart and Milhouse’s “all-syrup Super Squishy” binge. I’m also reminded of a personal fast-food favorite of mine - _Wendy’s_ “[Bacon Mushroom Melt](http://www.wendys.com/food/images/nutrition/product/121.jpg)”, which I call the “Heart-Stopper”. I have to eat one of those _really_ slow, or my heart will repeatedly stall on me during consumption. Not the greatest feeling, but what a great-tasting burger! 😃
Anyhoo…
---
### Author:  [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2004, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598/7 "2004-07-24T19:25:50Z")
If they sold these over here, I’d definatly have to try one!
---
### Author:  [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2004, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598/8 "2004-07-24T21:08:34Z")
> [@Beauty Personified](#):
>
> …I’m also reminded of a personal fast-food favorite of mine - _Wendy’s_ “[Bacon Mushroom Melt](http://www.wendys.com/food/images/nutrition/product/121.jpg)”, which I call the “Heart-Stopper”…
We call it the “Good Morning Burger.”
---
### Author:  [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2004, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598/9 "2004-07-24T22:43:54Z")
When will they begin selling their doughnuts in suppository form?
---
### Author:  [@wolfstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfstu)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2004, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598/10 "2004-07-24T23:06:11Z")
I’ve got to say that ever since I heard of this brand, I’ve been amazed that it has ever been succesful. 😕
Krispy Kreme.
\
Crispy Cream? How is that supposed to be appetizing? Every time I hear it I envision moldy, solidifying dairy products. Cream is _not_ supposed to be _crispy_. Smooth, rich, fluffy when whipped, sure. But crispy? Baaa-arf. 😃
And while cream-filled donuts exist, I’ve always known [donuts](http://www.timhortons.com/) to be soft and fluffy and just chewy enough to heighten the experience of eating them. Crispy donuts are probably ten days old.
Plus, the useless K’s in the name make me think of the Simpsons’ Krusty Komedy Klassic. Evil donuts they have, over at Krispy Kreme Konfections (KKK Inc.). 😉
---
### Author:  [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2004, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598/11 "2004-07-24T23:21:31Z")
> [@bluethree](#):
>
> When will they begin selling their doughnuts in suppository form?
Better yet, a doughnut patch.
---
### Author:  [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2004, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598/12 "2004-07-24T23:29:19Z")
**AngelicGemma** , the word is spelled “definitely”.
I wouldn’t have bothered to say anything except that I’ve seen you use this spelling many many times lately and it’s starting to bug me.
That is all.
---
### Author:  [@vl\_mungo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vl_mungo)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2004, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598/13 "2004-07-25T00:13:12Z")
> [@trublmakr](#):
>
> **AngelicGemma** , the word is spelled “definitely”.
>
> I wouldn’t have bothered to say anything except that I’ve seen you use this spelling many many times lately and it’s starting to bug me.
>
> That is all.
Hmmm… sounds like you could definatly use a donut patch.
---
### Author:  [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2004, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598/14 "2004-07-25T11:00:25Z")
> [@trublmakr](#):
>
> **AngelicGemma** , the word is spelled “definitely”.
>
> I wouldn’t have bothered to say anything except that I’ve seen you use this spelling many many times lately and it’s starting to bug me.
>
> That is all.
They really need to install a spell checker. Either that, or I need to spell.
I shall go hang up my journalist credibility badge in shame, and go work for ‘The Sun.’
😃
---
### Author:  [@RandomLetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandomLetters)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2004, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598/15 "2004-07-25T12:35:26Z")
> [@wolfstu](#):
>
> I’ve got to say that ever since I heard of this brand, I’ve been amazed that it has ever been succesful. 😕
>
> Krispy Kreme.
Have you not eaten at a Krispy Kreme donut shop yet?? 😕 Krispy Kreme donuts are the best pastries yet crafted by the hands of men. If one didn’t see them being made, you would probably think they are the food stuffs of the Gods, stolen from Olympus, if you would actually go and eat one.
Now go, and eat one (or better yet, a half dozen) right now, so you can know the glory that is a Krispy Kreme donut.
---
### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2004, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598/16 "2004-07-25T12:50:22Z")
I just wish it were a warm beverage, like hot chocolate, instead of a frozen concoction. Nothing quite compares to the taste of a sweet, buttery Krispy Kreme donut hot off the belt. It melts like cotton candy.
---
### Author:  [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2004, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598/17 "2004-07-25T14:15:28Z")
Let me get this straight- have they actually got liquified doughnut in those things, or are they just magically a billion calories each? I like doughnuts, but still… bleh.
---
### Author:  [@c\_carol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_carol)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2004, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598/18 "2004-07-25T16:31:06Z")
In the interest of advancing scientific knowledge, I went out and bought one today. I’m sorry to ruin a good joke, but it’s really not so much a doughnut-flavored smoothie as doughnut-icing-flavored, which is to say, sugar, sugar, sugar, maybe a little vanilla, and sugar. It’s awfully sweet and bland, but not bad, and it does taste vaguely like the stuff they glaze the doughnuts with.
By the way, I’m pretty sure that Krispy Kreme gets its name from the icing glaze. It goes on as a thick, gooey liquid and dries to a kind of flaky sugar shell around the doughnut. Kremey and Krispy, see?
---
### Author:  [@Feit\_C\_Taj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feit_C_Taj)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2004, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598/19 "2004-07-25T16:44:32Z")
Heh. They oughta call it Kremey Krisp.
---
### Author:  [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2004, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598/20 "2004-07-25T17:07:05Z")
I hear they’re developing a Krispy Kreme plunger.
You lay on the ground shirtless, have a friend mark your heart with a magic marker, then he/she drives the 8-inch needle through you breastplate into your heart, and injects it with the warm glazed goodness.
No need to chew _or_ digest!
Happy
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-improved-donuts-no-need-to-chew/256598.md?page=2)