# New and unimproved mini-rants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 29, 2008, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670 "2008-09-29T04:34:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2008, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/81 "2008-10-04T23:30:57Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > Take your child and WORK FROM HOME, dammit! I can hear you two rows away, with earplugs in and headphones over the earplugs! Take your little snugglyprecious and GO HOME! > > I’ve got stuff that needs to get done and a \*puppy \*would be less distracting! Along those lines: Parents, _please_ stop talking about your kids, because seriously, no one but your fellow soccer moms gives a flying fuck if little Timmy already loves science or your baby Suzy is such a great speller and loves her piano lessons and Billy drew such a hilarious picture the other day and _SHUT THE FUCK UP I DON’T CARE_. Does anyone know of a tactful way to tell someone - say, your boss - that you literally could not possibly care any less about her children? ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2008, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/82 "2008-10-05T00:30:11Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > Does anyone know of a tactful way to tell someone - say, your boss - that you literally could not possibly care any less about her children? Well, perhaps I’m a titch defensive because I am a parent, but I’d say that, in the case of your boss, you should suck it up. Part of getting along in the professional world is dealing with a wide range of personalities, and doing so with poise. There are times when I want to scream because I could not possibly care less about \ \ \, but you learn to smile politely and maybe even ask a question every once in a while. On the one hand, I have to wonder about the coworkers people here report having, who always seem to be bragging, showing pictures, or actually bringing their children to work. On the other hand, I wonder why we all feel people owe it to us to remove all of their personal, idiosyncrasies just because we find them annoying. ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2008, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/83 "2008-10-05T00:31:12Z")
I’ve had diarrhea for the past two days and haven’t been sleeping well on account of nightmares. I’m tired and my butt hurts. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2008, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/84 "2008-10-05T06:18:18Z")
I feel your pain, **Creaky**. I have something wrong with my stomach that causes endless nausea, heartburn and acid reflux, so the doctor has prescribed acid reducers. The first one I tried gave me apocalyptic diarrhea; the second one I’m trying now is on its way to giving me diarrhea, too (and the doctor was so surprised when I told him the first one was giving me diarrhea - it’s one of the most common side effects, Braniac). Sonofabitch; I need this medicine to keep my stomach from trying to kill me; I do not need relentless diarrhea. Diarrhea is not fun. Stupid stomach - just do your job and I will stop giving you nasty medicine - deal? ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2008, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/85 "2008-10-05T06:36:26Z")
Fuck Daylight Savings Time. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2008, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/86 "2008-10-05T17:08:05Z")
I remembered what really pissed me off yesterday - I always try to use up my change when making purchases, and it really seems to freeze little peabrains right in their tracks. Since I have had issues with this in the past, I make a point of telling the cashier what I’m giving them - “This is $2.34 {hand them the change}, and a twenty {give them the bill}” so they can punch it in to the till and give me the correct change back. Again yesterday, the cashier ignored what I told her, ignored what I gave her, and argued with me that I hadn’t given her what I gave her. When I said I have given her $22.34 on a $7.34 charge to get exactly $15.00 back, she rolled her eyes and gave me the “the customer is always right, even when they’re wrong” look as she gave me my $15.00. Look, bitchface, I can’t make you pay attention to what you’re doing - you can shove those rolling eyes right up your ass. Maybe in the future I’ll ask the cashier to tell ME what they think I’ve given them. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2008, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/87 "2008-10-05T17:15:44Z")
Goddam apple orchard farmers. You planted _way too many_ Red Delicious, and _not enough_ Jonathans. Now when I want a bushel for making applesauce, all you’ve got to sell me is CRAP! ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2008, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/88 "2008-10-05T17:26:56Z")
Moronic computers (by which I mean their programmers) and their idiotic “reminder” and “error” messages. The dumbest are on my workplace laptop, which I use every few weeks for a conference presentation. “Your wireless connection is not connected”. Aside from the Sarah Palinesque grammar, I have not ever used or attempted to use a wireless connection with this laptop. Stop reminding me. “You have unused icons on your desktop.” Uh, there are a total of four icons on the entire desktop. I could go hogwild with icons and still have room for lots more. What the hell difference does it make to _you_, Mr. Busybody, if I don’t use a couple of those icons? No, I don’t want you to “clean them up” for me. Other greatest hits: “The paste buffer is empty!” I have not been trying to cut or paste anything. Go away. “Your HP printer is ready to use!” Big whoops. Tell me if there’s a problem, but stop advertising the simple fact that the printer connection is still OK. Francisco Franco is still dead. “Your user account control is turned off.” Yes, and I want it that way. Mrs. J. likes to use the computer too, without jumping through hoops. (paraphrasing) “Would you like to interrupt whatever you were doing to download these useless updates?” No. Remind me when I’m getting ready to shut down, not when I’m starting something I want to do. “Click here and Windows will give you solutions to your computer problems.” The only real problem is that I’m continually being interrupted by these jackass messages, and have to click “x” to get rid of the popup boxes. _Go away._ ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2008, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/89 "2008-10-05T17:44:23Z")
As the flip side to _Interconnected Series of Tubes_… Let me in damnit! I don’t drive this road usually, I don’t know the lanes I need, and I’m doing my best to not impede the flow of Crowchild while I try to read the road signs. I have about a block to get over, so I put my ticker on and try to get over when I see a space… and nearly have an accident because some bitch was speeding and not watching. Thankfully the people behind were paying a bit more attention, otherwise I would have completely missed my turn. And earlier in the day, I had about two blocks to get over… I know where I am, where I am driving but some idiot in an SUV can’t decide where he is going (he’s going straight… no he’s changing lanes… no he’s going straight! No, no he’s really changing lanes.) and the idiot behind him speeds up when he sees my blinker on! I finally manage to squeeze my way in and he gives me the horn. Well fuck you, there was plenty of space and if you’d just stop fucking pacing my back bumper I could get in without denting your precious or mine. I’m trying to get into the turning lane, which you are in, for a god damn reason. It’s days like that that I wonder why I got my license. ---
**Author:** ![JusDubn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3ec8ea/32.png) [@JusDubn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JusDubn)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2008, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/90 "2008-10-05T19:07:44Z")
> [@Paintcharge](#): > > I’ve had this frakkin knot behind my left shoulder blade for a week now.. It’s making my fingers numb. I’ve had a similiar one for over a year now. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2008, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/91 "2008-10-05T23:25:33Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > (paraphrasing) “Would you like to interrupt whatever you were doing to download these useless updates?” > > No. Remind me when I’m getting ready to shut down, not when I’m starting something I want to do. Adobe does this to me all the fucking time! Stupid stupid stupid system. I start it up, ready to do work, and the only time they remind me of updates available is then - not later, not as I shut down, not when I’m not using them - only after I open them up. Stupid!!! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/92 "2008-10-06T18:19:35Z")
Looking at [this picture of Robert Plant](http://politicsoffthegrid.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/robert-plant-2007.jpg), I’m reminded of something that has become a pet peeve of mine - aging actors and musicians who refuse to stop trying to look cool. You were cool, once; you cannot be cool ever again because no one over 30 ever can (except Johnny Depp, and he’s a freak of nature). Sorry, but that’s just the way the world is. Get an adult haircut and stop trying so hard - I’m embarrassed for you. (Standard disclaimer about it’s their hair and clothes choices, none of my business, blahblahblah.) ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/93 "2008-10-06T22:18:08Z")
According to the latest mail, Obama is raising taxes 500%. What a fucking bastard. :mad: I won’t even go into the other highly ridiculous stuff that guy is going to do.😃 ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/94 "2008-10-07T03:47:42Z")
My parents. My sister. Lots of life drama between the two sides that requires me to frequently develop an eye twitch while mumbling, “Detach with love. Detach with love.” Never get into a fight with a passive-aggressive type because that way lies madness and high blood pressure. Or with people thousands of miles away because the Force is a lie and you can’t actually reach through your screen to slap the sense God gave little green apples into people no matter what FSM said. ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/95 "2008-10-07T04:39:32Z")
I got my tonsils out on Wednesday. I was doing fine for a while, though the puking wasn’t much fun that first day. But now… Now it feels like someone’s shoving ice picks in my ears. I try to eat food, but I just get nauseous and sore and my throat bleeds. Then the blood makes me more nauseous. And it goes downhill from there. I know I’ll be much, much better in the long run. I’ll be glad never to come down with week-long tonsilitis every two months that knocks me on my back. And I know there was no better time to do it than now that I’ve lost my job. But crap, I’ve got a phone interview tomorrow, and I had to give in and take the Lortab again because the alternative was pulling out my hair to distract myself from the pain. So now I’ll be all spacey and unable to focus when I need to the most. Fuck. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/96 "2008-10-07T16:48:25Z")
For the past month or so, as I switch to my new meds, my seizures have come back with a vengence. I can’t count HOW many days of work I’ve missed now, I’m constantly scared I’m going to have a black out on the bus or downtown and end up in the hospital again, and it seems I might as well not be on ANY meds at all! For a month or so there, when I was on both, I wasn’t having any, and it was great. Now? Phf! What’s the POINT? I called and left a message-this is effin’ ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/97 "2008-10-08T19:15:18Z")
> [@Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](#): > > Hey, douchebags. > > Yes, I’m aware that there’s a lot of traffic in this lane. In fact, the traffic in this lane downright sucks! It’s like we’re barely moving! The reason for this is that the mysteriously and temptingly unoccupied lane to your right is an **exit only lane**. Sure, you might not have the really important yellow rectangle enclosing words to that effect - but we both know you drive down this road every single day, and, guess what? When a lane exits and then **immediately ends** in a suicidal merge with the inexplicably clogged one to the left where all the non-douchebags are driving, it means that you should probably get in the fucking lane while the getting’s good. > > No, that does not mean barrel down the left side at eighty. It does not mean drive as quickly as possible to the terminal end of the lane and wedge yourself into the first microchasm that opens between a car and the semitruck in front of it. > > Fuck off and die. I’m still not letting you in. Enjoy the horn and the middle finger; that’s all you get. I’m with you, **tubes** , and that goes double for lanes that are (somewhere up ahead) blocked by construction or an accident. Now if we can just get the _rest_ of these namby-pamby pussies to quit letting the cheaters in, we’ll be set. Come ON, people! You shouldn’t reward dickish behavior (and don’t worry, **flutterby** , we can tell the difference between someone who legitimately got swept into the lane by accident and someone who’s trying to game the system – we’ll let YOU in). The thing to do is to close ranks and not let them get back in until they’re _behind_ where they were before they pulled out and zoomed up the dead-end lane. Solidarity, my fellow drivers, will help us vanquish those self-important, BMW-driving, cell-phone gabbling, hollow-chested syphilitic monkey-fuckers and send them to the back of the line where they belong. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/98 "2008-10-08T22:14:19Z")
You’re Albert fucking Einstein, you revolutionized physics, so for the love of all that is holy stop saying that it’s just a “simple equation” to get to the next step you self-centered cunt! ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/99 "2008-10-08T22:37:07Z")
Okay, that’s it. You are all fired at the end of the month. Take your whining, bitching, passive-agressive insubordinate selves away from here and let me try to make this goddamn place successful. And on your way, stop and pick up the the lazy bitch who had my job for 14 years and let you all get away with this negative, destructive bullshit and take her straight to hell with you. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/100 "2008-10-08T23:07:35Z")
My husband and I are NOT people who get a whole bunch of colds; we’re healthy with functioning immune systems, we look after ourselves, and we wash our hands and don’t lick doorknobs or anything like that. So why, in the name of all that’s holy, have we both gotten TWO colds in the last two months? I friggin’ hate being sick - get out of me, you horrible sick bugs! And stay out! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670.md?page=6)