# New and unimproved mini-rants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 29, 2008, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670 "2008-09-29T04:34:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/141 "2008-10-22T17:44:48Z")
It’s…The Day of Petty Annoyances! [ul] [li]I forgot my lunch. (Eating Triscuits and cheddar cheese for lunch, which is good, but not as nutritious as what I’d packed.)[/li][li]My wireless keyboard is dead. I’m assuming it’s the batteries.[/li][li]They raised the price of 20 oz. sodas in the vending machine from $1 to $1.25. (Fortunately, I’d brought extra with me, as I had planned to get a soda and a bottled water.)[/li][li]Went out at lunchtime to do my errands and got stuck behind really slow old-people.[/li][li]Accidentally used my out-loud-voice to complain about getting stuck. (I really don’t like it when I’m rude.)[/li][li]Dollar Tree was out of the L’Oreal lipsticks they had last week. I wanted to buy another one or two.[/li][li]I bought more jewelry-making supplies at Dollar Tree, which was a great deal, but just reminded me AGAIN how I don’t have time for a hobby anymore.[/li][li]Bought my Halloween candy on a really good sale, but had to bring it into the office with me because it’s chocolate, and it’s still way too hot here to leave chocolate in the car.[/li][li]Left the damned batteries in the car, so need to go back out for them.[/li][li]Was carrying in a 12-pack of Diet Cherry 7-UP and the carton tore and dropped several cans in the parking lot.[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/142 "2008-10-22T19:32:04Z")
I spent a lot of time putting together those instructions. I knew it was going to be a challenge for some of you. That’s why I ran tests and included screen shots and used my home system as a dummy so I could see what it’s like from your perspective. If I get one more call or email from any of you when it’s clear you have not read the instructions, I’m going to quit. I swear. I gave you the tools, fucking use them. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/143 "2008-10-22T19:48:40Z")
It really is just [sand](http://www.flickr.com/photos/bubbapup/2964937010/in/set-72157608269060644/), you stupid little bitch!. I spent most of the day creating that piece and after you shoved your foot in the “N” between the “A” and the “D” I had to spend another 10 minutes repairing the sign. And repaired signs NEVER look as good as the original. There is a reason that the ribbon is around that little section of real estate. Its to remind you of the one rule a spectator has in this little contest - Don’t Touch the Sand Sculptures! I’m only an amateur, but I work hard at that. Those precious 10 minutes I had to devote to your little fuck-up kept me from finish work and repairs on other parts of the sculpture. Did you notice that my team was two people competing against teams of 4 to 6? So half of my team’s effort had to divert to repair work because YOU had to go and kick the sculpture. The lady who saw you said that you were at least 12 years old and should have damn well known better than to fuck up somebody’s project during competition. Bitch! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/144 "2008-10-22T20:00:43Z")
You know, reading these mini-rants about other people, the news story isn’t that people were shot today, it’s that more people weren’t. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/145 "2008-10-22T20:05:18Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > It really is just [sand](http://www.flickr.com/photos/bubbapup/2964937010/in/set-72157608269060644/), you stupid little bitch!. > > I spent most of the day creating that piece and after you shoved your foot in the “N” between the “A” and the “D” I had to spend another 10 minutes repairing the sign. And repaired signs NEVER look as good as the original. > > There is a reason that the ribbon is around that little section of real estate. Its to remind you of the one rule a spectator has in this little contest - Don’t Touch the Sand Sculptures! > > I’m only an amateur, but I work hard at that. Those precious 10 minutes I had to devote to your little fuck-up kept me from finish work and repairs on other parts of the sculpture. > > Did you notice that my team was two people competing against teams of 4 to 6? So half of my team’s effort had to divert to repair work because YOU had to go and kick the sculpture. > > The lady who saw you said that you were at least 12 years old and should have damn well known better than to fuck up somebody’s project during competition. > > Bitch! Whoa! I especially like the half completed ‘arch’. Nice touch. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/146 "2008-10-22T20:28:23Z")
> [@pedescribe](#): > > Whoa! I especially like the half completed ‘arch’. Nice touch. The half completed arch was a fall of the second arch. Had I had more time I would have created “arch pieces” on the ground and improvised on the fall. That’s usually scored better by the judges. As it was I only had time to rough out a broken pillar. I blame the little bitch for that too. (she didn’t cause the fall, she just ate up my time) ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/147 "2008-10-22T20:53:14Z")
My husband is convinced he’s never going to get better. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/148 "2008-10-22T21:34:50Z")
If you’re going to change the fucking system from “the front doors of all dorms will be locked between 9 PM and 7 AM” to “the doors will be locked 24/7”, why the _fuck_ wouldn’t you send out a campus-wide email? Or voicemail? Or paper memo? Or putting a fucking sign on the bulletin boards? Mention in passing to someone? Send up some smoke signals? In other words - make some attempt to communicate this rather important bit of information to the people who it effects? Seriously, did it for a _second_ occur to you that “You will now need your ID card on you in order to get into your dorm no matter what time it is” might be a piece of information you’d like to inform students of in advance? Well, apparently it didn’t, so _fuck you_. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/149 "2008-10-22T21:54:17Z")
Fuck it’s hot. And dry. And windy. I hate the wind. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Woo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr.Woo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Woo)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/150 "2008-10-22T22:55:10Z")
Hey Samsung and AT&T, a word about your “Getting Started Guide”. This is the guide that I MUST IMMEDIATELY follow to get my new Blackjack set up. Great, I can follow directions. But there need to be actual directions! Thus, under the section called “Insert Battery”, just saying “remove the battery cover and insert the battery”, doesn’t really tell me what I need to do. Can you please tell me WHY I have to _assume_ which part of the fucking phone is a battery cover and further guess what contortions I need to go through to get it off? You guys ARE aware that there are significant differences in mobile telephony hardware, right? Yeah, I guess you are, because you took great care in instructing me how to put the battery in (which was perfectly obvious, I might add). So why the dearth of information on how to fucking get the battery cover open? Bunch o’ fuckwits. ---
**Author:** ![burundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ec8ea/32.png) [@burundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burundi)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/151 "2008-10-22T23:00:07Z")
Fuck you, gestational diabetes! I’m not overweight, I exercise every day, and I’ve only gained 12 pounds during this pregnancy. Fuck you, stupid blood sugar! Not only do I have to worry about having a monster-huge baby and a C-section, but I have to test my blood \*4 times \*a day. Dammit. :mad: And what a crappy time of year not to be able to eat sweets. While the rest of the world is enjoying their Halloween candy, Thanksgiving pie and Christmas cookies, I’ll be sitting in the corner with my carrot sticks and tofu. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/152 "2008-10-23T00:04:46Z")
Another reason the election sucks: Because of the higher than expected number of people registering to vote, I don’t get to see my boyfriend this week. His bosses are making everyone stay to enter the registration data. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/153 "2008-10-23T00:43:20Z")
No, Favorite Aunt, the physical therapists are not trying to kill you. They weren’t last time or the time before that, either. The physical therapy will make you stronger and get you healthier sooner. Saying that you don’t believe that doesn’t make it not true. If I have the energy sometime, I will write a proper rant encouraging all female dopers to get their pap tests done. Words you don’t want to hear from someone you care about: “I don’t know why I suddenly had to have a hysterectomy. It’s not like I ever _used_ it.” ---
**Author:** ![Pixilated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aeb1de/32.png) [@Pixilated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixilated)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/154 "2008-10-23T11:20:08Z")
> [@Agonist](#): > > I pit the pain scale. > > “On a scale of one to ten, zero being no pain, ten being the worst pain you can imagine, how bad is it?”… > > After several years dealing with the medical system in general and this question in particular, I have discovered the code: Six… > > If you say it’s six or above, they give you pain meds. If you say it’s, oh, I don’t know, hree or four, then you’re not in enough pain to get medicine. > They gave me the code. Oh, and some pain drugs. > > So, remember, folks, the magical meaningless number is six. [/slight hijack] you lie! Lie LIe LIE! 😛 going through my before and after surgeries on my tendons/wrist my pain was a constant 7+ for several months. It’s slowly getting better - but when the weather acts up with rain and/or cold. I want to curl up under a blankie, cuddle my arm/hand, and wish to die. Oh, and I have a fairly high tolerence to pain. 5 days worth the pain pills after surgery. None since then. My doc wont budge - even if it’s a request for a small amount to get me through the weather changes. ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/155 "2008-10-23T16:42:13Z")
> [@Agonist](#): > > I pit the pain scale. > > “On a scale of one to ten, zero being no pain, ten being the worst pain you can imagine, how bad is it?” Word. I’ve probably told this story before, but once upon a time I woke up surgery and my surgeon had neglected to write me a prescription for pain management. I’m half unconscious, in a LOT of pain, and confused because I didn’t remember consenting to general anestheasia (I was supossed to have spinal anesthesia). The nurse asks me this EXACT question, word-for-word. Want to guess what my befuddled, not trying to be a smart-ass, response is? “Zero is not between one and ten.” Actually, I’m not completely sure I said that part out loud. After a mental battle similar to what **Agonist** describes (I can _imagine_ Gestapo torture. Compared to that, this rates about a 3. But 3 isn’t very high, and I really need pain meds. But if I say 10, they won’t believe me. How do I deal with this?), I turn to the nurse and say “it really fucking hurts, okay?”. That seemed to do the trick. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/156 "2008-10-23T16:48:03Z")
> [@mischievous](#): > > I turn to the nurse and say “it really fucking hurts, okay?”. That seemed to do the trick. But what is that on a scale from 1 - 10? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/157 "2008-10-23T17:06:43Z")
> [@Santo\_Rugger](#): > > But what is that on a scale from 1 - 10? > > 😛 If you wish to know this answer, take the width of your ass in centimeters, multiply it by your I.Q. rounded to the nearest ten (round up if zero or below), and divide the total by itself. Multiply by four, add seven, and there’s my pain factor! ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/158 "2008-10-23T17:56:30Z")
> [@mischievous](#): > > I’ve probably told this story before, but once upon a time I woke up surgery and my surgeon had neglected to write me a prescription for pain management. I’m half unconscious, in a LOT of pain, and confused because I didn’t remember consenting to general anestheasia (I was supossed to have spinal anesthesia). Did you maybe have Versed or a similar drug that produces a mild amnesiac effect? I have experienced both and can see how Versed could be mistaken for waking up from a general. Anyway, you’re overthinking this pain scale thing. Remember that it’s designed for average patients, for the masses, for the lowest common denominator. It’s also supposed to be calibrated for what **you** are likely to go through in relation to health issues, so drop stuff like torture out of your calculations. I’ve seen - and prefer - scales that have simple faces showing likely facial expressions, designed to match what your internal pain might feel like if shown in your expression. Recalibrate your responses to match something like 10 being “unable to do anything other than cry in pain (and maybe gasp out ‘10’)” and it will be more productive. “Unable to move without sobbing” shouldn’t be a 4. ---
**Author:** ![Influential\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Influential\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Influential_Panda)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/159 "2008-10-23T22:48:23Z")
I talked on the phone with my grandmother for a few minutes the other day. She warned me that I’d better not vote for that “socialist nigger” who was going to make us good hard working white people pay for slavery. “I ain’t never had any slaves, have you?” I love you too, grandma. When I laughed at her and said she was being dumb, she said “well I’ll see you at Thanksgiving.” I told her to write down all her really good arguments and give them to me over Thanksgiving, and we’ll see if she can change my vote. _But the election will already be over then!_ Huh, fancy that. ---
**Author:** ![Influential\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Influential\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Influential_Panda)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670/160 "2008-10-23T23:25:02Z")
My mom was in the room during the conversation, and she warned me that she would be pissed at me for voting Obama if he carried Alabama. I reassured her that McCain was leading the polls twenty to thirty points in Alabama, and she responded “that’s just the popular vote.” I’m dumbfounded as to how to respond. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-mini-rants/465670.md?page=9)