# New and Unimproved Workplace Rants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 14, 2015, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638 "2015-10-14T15:44:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 101
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2019, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2001 "2019-04-22T19:19:13Z")
Just sent a document to the “Associate Principal Deputy Assistant Secretary for [topic].” Poor thing. Imagine bragging to our loved ones that you’ve finally become an Associate Principal Deputy Assistant Secretary. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2019, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2002 "2019-04-22T20:40:02Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > We’re getting new phone numbers at work. I’m a little upset about this, since I’ve had the same phone number since I started working here in '95. But that’s not actually what I’m posting about. > > To provide a little background… last year a large chunk of the business got sold off to a different company. Roughly 10% of the folks here on-site (including myself) remained with the old company. We’re going through about a 9 month transition phase, trying to separate networks, email, phone systems, etc. Hence the new phone numbers. > > So a couple weeks ago they sent out an email with everyone’s new phone numbers and the target date for the transition, which was scheduled for early next week. Then late last Friday there was another email announcing that the schedule has been moved up – it’s happening this week, not next! Local IT is supposed to be coming around with the new phones, headsets, etc, taking away our old phones and getting us switched over to the new phone system. > > One small roadblock: IT has not received any of the new equipment yet, and has no idea when it is supposed to show up. Why the hell would you move up the schedule when you don’t even have all the pieces in place yet? > > At least the old phones and numbers are still working… for now… I’m not understanding this one. You are ranting because you suffered no annoying equipment swap and your old number is still working? ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2019, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2003 "2019-04-22T21:53:22Z")
Set Up: One of my job duties is referring cases for court hearings. I complete nifty little referral sheets that I then send to a member of our court team for review before they send it to the County Attorney’s office for drafting of affidavits, motions, etc. Ideally, it should be one referral sheet per case, and one district court file per case. That doesn’t always happen - our computer system is pretty stupid, the courts can be pretty stupid, and workers can be pretty stupid. This causes arrears on cases to be under multiple district court files. Example: John and Mary have Judy. A paternity file is opened for Judy, support charges. A few years down the road, John and Mary have Billy. Instead of opening a new paternity file for Billy, the courts open a support file for both Judy AND Billy. New support charges for both kids, but there are still arrears out there for when it was just Judy. In our system, if there were two paternity files, there would be two cases. Because the second order is for both kids, there is only one case, with arrears stemming from two different district court files. Problem: Lately, the court team reviewers have taken to making extensive notes regarding arrears accrual on my referrals before sending them to the CA’s office on cases where there are multiple district court files. This is wreaking havoc. I’m getting the primary Attorney going nutso, wanting to know how she needs to word the affidavits without me having any clue what the court team person noted. Today, I was on the phone and Skyping the Attorney from 1245 - 3 over three separate cases. She was asking me how to clarify what the court team person noted. I reminded her _again_ that I have no idea what the court team noted, as I don’t see it. I suggested she email me the referral. She emailed me her half-drafted affidavit. We finally got everything straightened out. Then. After the secretary drafts all the paperwork, the Attorney is supposed to review it again, then send it to me for signatures, service info, all that fun stuff. At this point it’s all supposed to be finalized, ready for a hearing date. I consider the case good-to-go, everything is perfect. Unfortunately, this attorney decided she wanted to take a third look at some of these cases. For No Reason. She gets caught up in her head and unravels everything. I received an email from one of the secretaries that multiple cases I finalized this morning (none of the cases in the phone/Skypefest) are being returned to me, with a note from the Attorney that I know what needs to be done. No, I don’t. I reviewed the affidavits, the creative language to encompass multiple files looked pretty decent, and signed off. I have no idea what else she wants done. Heaven help me, I sent a case to the court team today with six separate district court files (including one from another county). I foresee a brain explosions in my future. ---
**Author:** ![BrickBat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@BrickBat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrickBat)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2019, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2004 "2019-04-22T22:10:39Z")
One guy I work with, known him 20+ years and is categorically “a good person”, but nonetheless drives me insane sometimes. Seems to have a built-in lack of self awareness and must have borderline ADD. He’s hyper garrulous, very animated, perky. Discreet he aint. All in an “outside voice”. “Overly social”, if there can be such a thing. Drives a lot of us nuts when we’re either trying to concentrate on what we’re doing or even just eat our lunch in peace. - **BUT** , the few times _he wants_ to concentrate, he gets all butthurt and leaves the room in a huff if the room isn’t devoid of even hushed tones of others. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2019, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2005 "2019-04-22T23:48:34Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > Just sent a document to the “Associate Principal Deputy Assistant Secretary for [topic].” Poor thing. Imagine bragging to our loved ones that you’ve finally become an Associate Principal Deputy Assistant Secretary. Wow, what are the odds on people addressing them correctly? “Ms. Deputy Assistant Principal Associate Secretary” “Mr. Principal Associate Deputy Secretary Assistant” “Mrs. Assistant Principal Deputy Associate Secretary” Oh, hell. Can I just call you Chris? ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2019, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2006 "2019-04-23T00:06:02Z")
APDAS, unfortunately pronounced up-dee-ass? ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2019, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2007 "2019-04-23T00:28:16Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Yeah, I’d hate to be concentrating on a project and have a phone start ringing right next to me. A landline you can’t put on vibrate or read a text off of, to see if you have to deal with it immediately… I couldn’t work without my desk phone. My group’s rule is that if the email bounces back and fourth four times it is time to pick up the phone. Also, by the nature of my department I can guarantee you that any calls will be a director or above and I should probably see what they want. When I was new I didn’t recognize the CIO’s name but I’m really glad I picked up and gave him what he needed. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2019, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2008 "2019-04-23T05:52:32Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > I’m not understanding this one. You are ranting because you suffered no annoying equipment swap and your old number is still working? Because not only is he going to get an annoying equipment swap and change of number, but the process is being managed by someone who doesn’t have the capability to plan a PBJ sandwich (note that the person in question would never execute a PBJ sandwich: physical work is for minions). ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2019, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2009 "2019-04-23T10:03:54Z")
Currently more than a little miffed at one of my coworkers. He does not seem to have any interest in actually moving helpdesk tickets along - he’ll do maybe the absolute bare minimum until I show up to clean up after him, and when pressed on it, insist that he’s doing backend work, or working on something else… Except that he’s here as part of the onsite team, and I shouldn’t have to handle the IT mailbox and ticket system on my own, _thank you very much_. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2019, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2010 "2019-04-23T20:52:31Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > I’m not understanding this one. You are ranting because you suffered no annoying equipment swap and your old number is still working? No, I’m ranting because they said it would happen on day x, then moved it up to day x-5, and yet did not have the equipment ready to make it happen on day x-5. Or day x, as it turned out. Definitely am _not_ ranting because my old number still works. If they switched me over to my new number, and my old number no longer worked, and neither did the new number (because no equipment) then I’d _really_ be ranting. ---
**Author:** ![slalexan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@slalexan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slalexan)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2019, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2011 "2019-04-23T21:10:03Z")
I have a very quick rant: I am a project engineer and I manage capital projects. I really dislike doing capital projects for one specific function onsite. I try to get their buy-in early and they usually go along with everything just fine. But when I start installing equipment, they lose their damn minds. They want me to change scope and fix everything they agreed to before. I have to bend over backwards for them. And I never get a thank you. It’s really frustrating. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2019, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2012 "2019-04-23T23:12:02Z")
Update on the Customer Service Asshat: not only is he still hot under the collar about the vendor, telling anyone who will listen that this vendor “needs to fix their screw-up,” but he has now jumped on the case of a purchasing agent, insisting that she do more to get some other parts here on time. These parts have a lead time of at least 4 months, and are currently on a boat that has to make a couple of stops before finally depositing our order at customs. Customer Service Asshat knew all of this at the time the order was placed, yet he still promised delivery to the customer in a matter of weeks. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2019, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2013 "2019-04-24T11:51:31Z")
> [@WolfpackJeep](#): > > Update on the Customer Service Asshat: not only is he still hot under the collar about the vendor, telling anyone who will listen that this vendor “needs to fix their screw-up,” but he has now jumped on the case of a purchasing agent, insisting that she do more to get some other parts here on time. These parts have a lead time of at least 4 months, and are currently on a boat that has to make a couple of stops before finally depositing our order at customs. Customer Service Asshat knew all of this at the time the order was placed, yet he still promised delivery to the customer in a matter of weeks. :smack: What are the odds on the betting pool for when he gets fired? ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2019, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2014 "2019-04-24T12:13:22Z")
> [@Catamount](#): > > What are the odds on the betting pool for when he gets fired? 😃 I wouldn’t put money on it anytime soon… Asshat’s manager encourages this sort of behavior, and has even backed him up. I’m not sure if this includes Asshat’s tendency to promise unrealistic ship dates to customers though. He’ll eventually piss off a large enough vendor for managers in other departments to take notice. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2019, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2015 "2019-04-30T11:59:13Z")
Presentation (for the second time) of a bespoke functionality which solves a lot of issues this customer has regarding sampling. The functionality has been developed by another team, but when we heard about it the responses from our people were somewhere between “that would solve all our sampling problems!” and “can I marry a computer program?” After two months of being told we’re not allowed to use it and pushing back, today we had a presentation involving Bossy Chihuahua and the Production team as well as us (Quality). Quality loved it (well, they already loved it before). Production was barely on the professional side of moaning. Bossy Chihuahua said “oh but this will mean an enormous amount of additional master data for quality! And parametrization!” (Master data is managed by high-level end-users and modifying it is considered routine work; parametrization is consultants-only and definitely not routine). Me: “no parametrization at all, and the amount of additional master data isn’t very large” (I’ll skip lunch three days in a row if it turns out to be more than 1% over what we already need to load) Production: “oh, but you need to parametrize A” Me: “Master data” Production: “well, you need to parametrize B” Me: “Master data” Production: “how about the link between A and B” Me: “master data. It’s part of B.” Production: “you will have to parametrize C” Me: “master data and since it’s the same for the whole database, we don’t even need to copy it for every factory. What they have created, we can already use. We’ll need to create more if there are versions we need that they haven’t created.” Production: “but… then this is all master data! It can’t all be master data!” Me: “welcome to Quality, AKA Master Data Hell, and hell yes it can.” Bossy Chihuahua tried to tell me again that it would be a lot of work, but the presenter, the presenter’s boss and I were answering in chorus explaining why it wouldn’t. We need to work a bit on our tempo. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2019, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2016 "2019-04-30T13:45:54Z")
Can you persuade the Bossy Chihuahua to permit the new functionality to run as a pilot program, in parallel with the current process, so you can show empirically that the new way adds efficiency without sacrificing quality? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2019, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2017 "2019-04-30T14:41:02Z")
What current process? Part of the problem is that we don’t have a current process. We have multiple current processes, most of which are based on either paper (which accepts everything) or excel (which is even a bigger whore than paper; if you erase something on paper it shows). We’re trying to push all this into The Big Blue Database, but without the new functionality we need to leave about half of it outside. With the new functionality, we can put about 90% of the total mountain inside and the amount of “extra” data which needs to be managed is tiny compared with what we already need to shove in the half we now can… Woman is a strong believer in seeing a 50% capacity glass and claiming it is not only empty but broken. It’s the basis for her management style. ---
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2019, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2018 "2019-05-01T04:25:21Z")
A guy gave a presentation on diversity in the workplace. One slide contained the phrase “ethical diversity” instead of “ethnic diversity.” I discussed the matter in private, and he became upset by my “anti-diversity” sentiment. He may tell my supervisor that I’m racist or something. So is this guy a moron? Or is he just ethically diverse? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2019, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2019 "2019-05-01T05:00:59Z")
He’s dictionarily challenged. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2019, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2020 "2019-05-02T15:18:43Z")
If I ever do get a job where people are mostly reasonable again, you guys will miss me… (I did have a decent one about half of last year, that was nice). Bossy Chihuahua now wants us to request WFH days in advance, using the vacation-request website. Note that the customer’s people actually like not having us here on Fridays all day and Monday mornings; I’m usually here on Monday mornings but they’ve sort of adopted me since I don’t mind their “uncouth behavior”. Said uncouth behavior involves having coffee-machine meetings rather than formal ones, oh the horror. The vacation-request website has three options: one for overtime, one for vacation and one for part-day leaves of absence. I’ve asked which one should we use. I’m so glad I finally learned how to look innocent while dropping bomb-questions… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638.md?page=100) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638.md?page=102)