# New and Unimproved Workplace Rants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 14, 2015, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638 "2015-10-14T15:44:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 147
**Author:** ![DeadTreasSecretaries](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/deadtreassecretaries/32/4817_2.png) [@DeadTreasSecretaries](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadTreasSecretaries)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2922 "2021-11-06T12:48:37Z")
I heard that one of the tech giants (google?) took resumes from some of their senior employees and put them through their recruiting system and barely any made it to the point where a human even looked at them. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2923 "2021-11-07T02:54:23Z")
That all reminds me of the story that an early version of the Multics computer operating system crashed because the swapper-out module swapped out the swapper-in module. ---
**Author:** ![Ranch\_Dip](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranch_dip/32/5238_2.png) [@Ranch\_Dip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranch_Dip)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2021, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2924 "2021-11-08T23:13:51Z")
> [@Dag\_Otto](#): > > if you cut and paste the exact words about A and B from the job announcement into your resume, with no other supporting verbage, then we know you are a stupid plagiarizing git. Do you think we don’t recognize the words that are in the job announcement? I have seen people encouraging just that. It’s supposed to guarantee that search programs will pick up your application. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2021, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2925 "2021-11-09T02:51:15Z")
> [@Ranch\_Dip](#): > > I have seen people encouraging just that. It’s supposed to guarantee that search programs will pick up your application. I agree that reading the job announcement and determining what the keywords are, and then writing your resume around those keywords and relating your experience with them is a good idea. It’s what I have done when applying for a job. But simply cutting and pasting sentences from the job announcement into the resume, especially without adding anything that ties your experience with the requirements is simply a sign of laziness and disrespect for the people who eventually read your resume. ---
**Author:** ![gregorio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/fbc32d/32.png) [@gregorio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gregorio)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2021, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2926 "2021-11-09T15:08:09Z")
Wait? **People** read resumes? I thought the AI scanned for keywords and punted the rest. Seems to me that copy/paster has their efficiencies down and would make a good candidate for the position. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2021, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2927 "2021-11-10T15:05:25Z")
Back in the day, I used to send one dry, keyword-laden resume to HR, and a totally different very creative one to the Creative Director. But, then, I was looking for an ad agency Art Director job (and got one, with a quirky hand-written resume). ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2021, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2928 "2021-11-10T23:39:11Z")
It seems there are still live people involved in the hiring process in some places. The last place I applied to clearly had a bot handling the initial sorting process, and pretty much said so in the job posting – complete with a big statement that you would only get a response if they wanted to schedule an interview. I ended up receiving an actual rejection from the hiring manager’s office. I actually viewed this as a bit of a success; this was the first time I had tailored my resume to match specific words and topics from the posting. Lesson learned – not only do you have to make sure your cover letter is customized for the job, but your resume has to be unique to the job as well. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2021, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2929 "2021-11-14T00:32:18Z")
_God help me, I’m a Democrat, And here’s my workplace rant: The PMG is here next week To monitor my plant. He tries to slow our working pace (It turns out that he can’t) But I don’t want to co-onfront deJoy, confront deJoy, No I don’t want to co-onfront deJoy._ ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2021, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2930 "2021-11-15T21:48:50Z")
I’m looking for some clipart this afternoon, and there’s a disturbing amount of clipart that’s just women’s legs in sexy poses. I’m happy to not know how that’s used. I have a meeting tomorrow with someone who can’t tell me what she wants me to do. I’ve emailed her a couple of times to try to clarify, but she can’t answer a question directly. So now instead of doing by email like normal people, we have to waste time with a meeting tomorrow, and I do not feel like washing my hair for that. I’ve done other things for people in that department, and they are always a complete mess. They usually do a calendar every year, but I haven’t heard anything about that yet. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2021, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2931 "2021-11-15T22:10:08Z")
Arrrrrgh! I feel your pain. I’ve had clients with “a lack of ability to go binary”: I still hear some of our meetings in my head: Miss Client, you’ve covered the history of the company and the history of marketing, but let’s get back to basics: **Do you want us to design a brochure for you, or not**?" “Well, ummm… you see, the thing about a brochure is that the way we’ve always done things back when I joined the company under George Harley, oh, I haven’t told you enough about George Harley…” We finally would go into a meeting with a form (and soon were able to just email them a form). Almost everything was broken down with two options: 🔲 YES 🔲 NO 🔲 2-COLOR 🔲 FULL COLOR 🔲 8.5x11 or 🔲 Fit in a #9 business envelope 🔲 Need by 12/31/21 or 🔲 1/15/22 ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2021, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2932 "2021-11-16T01:01:11Z")
> [@digs](#): > > I still hear some of our meetings in my head: Miss Client, you’ve covered the history of the company and the history of marketing, but let’s get back to basics: **Do you want us to design a brochure for you, or not**?" > “Well, ummm… you see, the thing about a brochure is that the way we’ve always done things back when I joined the company under George Harley, oh, I haven’t told you enough about George Harley…” That’s a classic example of decision paralysis. We try to lead with exactly two options. Each option has everything fully specified and all decisions made. Explain that everything is negotiable and adjustable, but start with two concrete choices. Some customers will want to go through every choice with details, but some just don’t care and want an easy choice with a minor adjustment. ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2021, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2933 "2021-11-16T01:28:33Z")
**digs** , that is pretty much it, but she can’t tell me if she wants a brochure or not. 😐 (not really a brochure, but it is something similar) **Pleonast** , we can’t even get to the point where I offer them options, because they can’t tell me what they want me to do, or even if they want me to do anything. What they want might be a simple update of something they already have, but for some reason I can’t get a yes or no answer to that question. ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2021, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2934 "2021-11-16T01:31:15Z")
> [@MagicEyes](#): > > because they can’t tell me what they want me to do Sometimes you just have to tell them what they want. :evil: ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2021, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2935 "2021-11-16T01:56:18Z")
I did offer them an option. They didn’t want that, and sent me an email which seemed to say that they wanted to update the thing that they’re already using instead of doing something new. So I emailed them to get a yes/no answer to that question, and then they sent me an email that said basically the same thing as the previous email, but did not answer the question. 🤪 So now we have to have a Teams meeting, and I have a bad attitude, so I’ll have to work very hard to not say anything snarky when I think my microphone is off but it’s really on. ---
**Author:** ![DeadTreasSecretaries](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/deadtreassecretaries/32/4817_2.png) [@DeadTreasSecretaries](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadTreasSecretaries)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2021, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2936 "2021-11-16T02:03:49Z")
So tell me what you want, what you really really want. I’ll tell you what I want what I really really want. So tell me what you want, what you really really want. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2021, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2937 "2021-11-16T15:58:57Z")
I don’t think Zigga-zig-ah is an option **MagicEyes** is presenting. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2021, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2938 "2021-11-16T16:09:44Z")
> [@digs](#): > > clients with “a lack of ability to go binary” I called it! [fist pump] . Hey, **MagicEyes** , I’m surprised this isn’t a public sector client. So many of the non-profits and church-related groups we did work for would act like that. Compounded by, as one sweet old Church Lady put it: “I’ll bet most of your business clients have less time to waste and more money. We’re the opposite. So if we have a team of volunteers who can spend a month researching ways to save a hundred dollars, that’s what we’ll do.” (My next line: “While I chew my fingernails, and tell the photographer and the printer that we have no idea when we’ll be ready.”… but I didn’t say it.) ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2021, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2939 "2021-11-22T21:49:18Z")
Well I’m still waiting for an examiner to even look at my unemployment claim and it took a legislative complaint from my state senator to discover that’s what the hold up is. If you call the UC helpline they can’t even answer questions; just open up a ticket that takes 6-8 weeks for someone to get back to you. And naturally my phone & inbox are getting flooded with job scams. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2021, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2940 "2021-11-23T05:20:10Z")
I am writing this on my break, so I’m not breaking any rules. I’m scheduled to clock out tonight at 10:30 PM. I was told at the beginning of my shift that some contractors are coming in tonight to conduct a two-hour training session at 10:00 PM for both my shift and the next shift. Since I am not on the overtime desired list (yes, we really have one of those), this falls under involuntary overtime. Thing is, the union contract doesn’t let management subject me to involuntary overtime unless operational needs demand it. Because conceivably, these contractors could be brought in on a different day to conduct training for my shift (and the equipment the training is on hasn’t even been brought online yet), this is more for the convenience of management than for the operational needs of the plant. So, after 13 1/2 years here, today I will be filing my very first grievance. ETA: When I notified my supervisor that my intention was to clock out at 10:30 tonight, he came back at me with a direct order to attend the training. So, I will be complying with the direct order, but under protest. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2021, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/2941 "2021-11-23T05:52:54Z")
But if your supervisor **orders** you to work overtime, don’t they have to pay you? (I’d just put in for the overtime, and if they deny it, then follow up with a note that you informed the supervisor that you weren’t supposed to put in extra hours, but he gave you a direct order.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638.md?page=146) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638.md?page=148)