# New and Unimproved Workplace Rants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 14, 2015, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638 "2015-10-14T15:44:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 43
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/841 "2016-08-10T22:48:01Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Me: “Ah, if you have a problem with X, you’ll need to speak to (person). But he went home an hour ago.” > Person: “Ok, I’ll hold for him” > Me: :dubious: “You can’t, he went home an hour ago. You’ll need to contact him tomorrow” > Person: “I’m holding for him?” > Me: :smack: “No, he went home. Call back tomorrow.” You missed your chance to put him on hold overnight! ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/842 "2016-08-10T23:30:14Z")
I have a job I love, but August is hell month in the grant-writing world because so many foundations are about to close out their fiscal year. I’m overwhelmed because of the terrible side effects of my anti-epileptic drugs, I’m trying to transition to an alternative drug right now, so I’m at an elevated risk of seizure, my ability to function is impaired, and I’m just trying to hang on through the month… My beloved boss, the Development Director, today announced she is resigning. Our beloved CEO just resigned last month. Our beloved Development Manager just resigned last month. We’ve lost several program directors and staff as well. If there’s something sinister going on behind the scenes, it’s over my head, because as far as I can tell everything’s been busy but productive and friendly. There is only one other person left from my ‘‘original’’ development team - and I just started in October 2015! High turnover is relatively common for nonprofits, especially as we just moved to a huge new location that has created a travelling hardship for some people - but damn. I’m kind of nervous all that I love is being carried away. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/843 "2016-08-11T00:09:24Z")
Ask if any of them want to take you with. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/844 "2016-08-11T03:08:13Z")
I went to see the new Jason Bourne movie tonight. Decent movie, not the best or worst of the series. Advertised show time: 7:15. Time they got through all the trailers and started the movie?: 7:37. 22 minutes of advertisements. Why not? We’ve already paid our money, what are we gonna do? I’m sure there’s a marketing brain trust somewhere working out how to justify a mid-show commercial break for more trailers. I’m just almost to the point of saying fuck it to any movie that doesn’t really need a cinema screen and sound system and waiting on Redbox or Netflix. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/845 "2016-08-11T03:12:57Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m sure there’s a marketing brain trust somewhere working out how to justify a mid-show commercial break for more trailers. Mid-show? They stopped the movie to run more ads? That had to have been an error. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/846 "2016-08-11T03:29:43Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > Mid-show? They stopped the movie to run more ads? That had to have been an error. And now I get to pit me for putting this in the wrong thread… No. They didn’t stop the movie this time. I was saying I was sure someone was trying to figure out how to squeeze in more ad time so that’s something we can look forward to in the next few years… ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/847 "2016-08-11T03:36:47Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > And now I get to pit me for putting this in the wrong thread… > > No. They didn’t stop the movie this time. I was saying I was sure someone was trying to figure out how to squeeze in more ad time so that’s something we can look forward to in the next few years… Probably after the credits and before the post-credits scene. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/848 "2016-08-11T03:38:17Z")
> [@digs](#): > > You missed your chance to put him on hold overnight! LOL! Another charming little habit some of the “co-workers” have, that I noticed today. Some think it’s reasonable to log off the phones 5-10 minutes before clock-out time (6pm). Every day this week, I’ve gotten stuck on a last-moment call because I’m one of maybe two or three who are actually doing the damn job. This means I miss the 6:18 train home and have to wait for the 6:48. I would dearly love to get home before 8:15pm once in a rare while, but the children who think it’s great to be scamming their way into getting that paid goof-off atthe end of the day couldn’t care less, I’m quite certain. Bright side: this pattern has been noticed, and is pissing off at least one supervisor. We can hope action will result. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/849 "2016-08-11T08:56:31Z")
> [@ENugent](#): > > Probably after the credits and before the post-credits scene. Or the way some TV stations do it, five minutes before the beginning of the credits. My mother has been known to wish Jessica Fletcher would visit the person who sets the ads for Murder, She Wrote and similar shows. ---
**Author:** ![FatBaldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@FatBaldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FatBaldGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/850 "2016-08-11T13:46:33Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > And now I get to pit me for putting this in the wrong thread… > > No. They didn’t stop the movie this time. I was saying I was sure someone was trying to figure out how to squeeze in more ad time so that’s something we can look forward to in the next few years… I remember back in the 50s and 60s it was common for some of the big movies (especially musicals) to have a 10 minute intermission in the middle so you could go out and spend money at the snack bar. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/851 "2016-08-11T17:18:27Z")
> [@FatBaldGuy](#): > > I remember back in the 50s and 60s it was common for some of the big movies (especially musicals) to have a 10 minute intermission in the middle so you could go out and spend money at the snack bar. [“Let’s All go to the Lobby!”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mw91RJ_m_7g), with sentient snackage trying to get themselves eaten… [And here’s a darker remake.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuADIiUrZvI) ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/852 "2016-08-11T20:54:06Z")
> [@FatBaldGuy](#): > > I remember back in the 50s and 60s it was common for some of the big movies (especially musicals) to have a 10 minute intermission in the middle so you could go out and spend money at the snack bar. Before my time, but I’d heard of it. Also anecdotally that some theaters ran ductwork from over the grill into the showing area and then they’d throw some burgers on and blow the odor in to make the customers even more hungry. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/853 "2016-08-11T21:46:55Z")
Dear Apparently Ex- Co-Worker: So you’ve found someone who will give you a job at which you will earn more money. I hope you are prepared to work your butt off for them, because I bet if you work for them the way you’ve been doing for us, you won’t be employed by them very long. [Co-worker calls in or doesn’t show or disappears for long breaks way too often. And nothing bad happens, because no one wants to piss off his mother. I’m betting New Employer doesn’t care about pissing off his mother, because she works for us, and has for a long time.] ---
**Author:** ![cg16](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@cg16](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cg16)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2016, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/854 "2016-08-12T02:32:00Z")
This older lady at my job feels I need a girlfriend because I eat microwavable lunches and not cooked food:smack: She thinks If I am in a relationship I will no longer eat frozen foods for lunch. I am getting sick of the comments every day about what I eat for lunch because some of the women feel it’s a lot of sodium intake. Just shut the hell up and let me eat what I want to eat. ---
**Author:** ![tenacious\_j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tenacious\_j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tenacious_j)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2016, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/855 "2016-08-12T03:28:25Z")
> [@cg16](#): > > This older lady at my job feels I need a girlfriend because I eat microwavable lunches and not cooked food:smack: She thinks If I am in a relationship I will no longer eat frozen foods for lunch. I am getting sick of the comments every day about what I eat for lunch because some of the women feel it’s a lot of sodium intake. Just shut the hell up and let me eat what I want to eat. Excellent rant, sir. I’d guess the lady needs someone to mother, so thanks for sharing with us and not her. Maybe if you’re nice, she’ll make you a nice casserole. 😉 My hubby ate frozen meals for many, many years. I made him great dinners, he made me some great dinners, but he wanted something different for lunch. Big fucking deal. Fortunately nobody ever commented on it, that I know of. ---
**Author:** ![cg16](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@cg16](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cg16)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2016, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/856 "2016-08-12T03:39:07Z")
> [@tenacious\_j](#): > > Excellent rant, sir. I’d guess the lady needs someone to mother, so thanks for sharing with us and not her. Maybe if you’re nice, she’ll make you a nice casserole. 😉 > My hubby ate frozen meals for many, many years. I made him great dinners, he made me some great dinners, but he wanted something different for lunch. Big fucking deal. Fortunately nobody ever commented on it, that I know of. Yeah when I go in the break room I am not even paying attention to what people are eating so that’s why I was getting annoyed at the constant comments about sodium ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2016, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/857 "2016-08-12T07:32:48Z")
Make a sad face and say you have low blood pressure. Most people have never heard of the condition, they take a while to recover from the stun. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2016, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/858 "2016-08-12T12:55:49Z")
Oh, and tell them, “Well, my girlfriend’s a hooker, so she doesn’t have much time for cooking.” ---
**Author:** ![cg16](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@cg16](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cg16)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2016, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/859 "2016-08-12T14:03:32Z")
😉 > [@digs](#): > > Oh, and tell them, “Well, my girlfriend’s a hooker, so she doesn’t have much time for cooking.” I do be wanting to say something inappropriate but I have to remember where I am ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2016, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/860 "2016-08-12T14:08:32Z")
I like the Low Blood Pressure excuse. 😃 Every time someone says something stupid like that to you, you can thank them for raising your blood pressure. “You know, I have low blood pressure issues and my doctor said I need more sodium in my diet. But thanks for raising my blood pressure. Every little bit helps!” 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638.md?page=42) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638.md?page=44)