# New and Unimproved Workplace Rants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 14, 2015, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638 "2015-10-14T15:44:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 52
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2016, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1021 "2016-10-05T18:57:50Z")
Who puts shredded lettuce on a hamburger? The only one I can think of is McDonald’s. ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2016, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1022 "2016-10-05T20:12:48Z")
Ethical dilemma: Co-worker is out today, but he’d ordered food. My restaurant screwed up my order, so I didn’t eat much of it and am kinda hungry. On one hand, I just e-mailed co-worker to let him know I put his food in the fridge. On the other, he’s not here, so I could just say that someone either took it or threw it away. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2016, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1023 "2016-10-05T20:47:18Z")
> [@Calatin](#): > > Ethical dilemma: Co-worker is out today, but he’d ordered food. My restaurant screwed up my order, so I didn’t eat much of it and am kinda hungry. > > On one hand, I just e-mailed co-worker to let him know I put his food in the fridge. > > On the other, he’s not here, so I could just say that someone either took it or threw it away. If he’s out today, why the heck did he order food? And, couldn’t you just email him and say, “Hey, the restaurant screwed up my order and I’m starving. Do you mind if I go ahead and eat your food? I’ll get you some more next time.” And in the future, a couple things you could try, depending on how confrontational you want to be: 1. Only order things that don’t normally come with lettuce. By ordering lettuceful dishes and asking them to hold the lettuce, you’re just setting yourself up for failure. or 1. When you place your order, don’t just say, “No lettuce.” Say “No fucking lettuce. Seriously. If I get my food and it has lettuce on it, I’ll come down there and shred your fucking face.” ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2016, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1024 "2016-10-05T20:56:43Z")
> [@Calatin](#): > > Ethical dilemma: Co-worker is out today, but he’d ordered food. My restaurant screwed up my order, so I didn’t eat much of it and am kinda hungry. > > On one hand, I just e-mailed co-worker to let him know I put his food in the fridge. > > On the other, he’s not here, so I could just say that someone either took it or threw it away. Email him that because you were starving and your order was messed up, you took the liberty of taking his order. If my workplace was providing me with lunch, I’d be entirely content that it went to a different worker (as long as I didn’t go hungry). ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2016, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1025 "2016-10-05T21:10:26Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > If he’s out today, why the heck did he order food? > > And, couldn’t you just email him and say, “Hey, the restaurant screwed up my order and I’m starving. Do you mind if I go ahead and eat your food? I’ll get you some more next time.” > > And in the future, a couple things you could try, depending on how confrontational you want to be: > > 1. Only order things that don’t normally come with lettuce. By ordering lettuceful dishes and asking them to hold the lettuce, you’re just setting yourself up for failure. > > or > > 1. When you place your order, don’t just say, “No lettuce.” Say “No fucking lettuce. Seriously. If I get my food and it has lettuce on it, I’ll come down there and shred your fucking face.” We can order up to a week in advance. When you log in to the website, it shows you the options for the next 6 days. I’ll often order as early as possible, just to be surprised when that day’s food comes. Re: #2 - You made me think of Ross’s note on his Thanksgiving leftover sandwich, from _Friends_. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2016, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1026 "2016-10-06T01:24:12Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > If he’s out today, why the heck did he order food? > > And, couldn’t you just email him and say, “Hey, the restaurant screwed up my order and I’m starving. Do you mind if I go ahead and eat your food? I’ll get you some more next time.” > > And in the future, a couple things you could try, depending on how confrontational you want to be: > > 1. Only order things that don’t normally come with lettuce. By ordering lettuceful dishes and asking them to hold the lettuce, you’re just setting yourself up for failure. > > or > > 1. When you place your order, don’t just say, “No lettuce.” Say “No fucking lettuce. Seriously. If I get my food and it has lettuce on it, I’ll come down there and shred your fucking face.” “And I’ll do it on my day off, which I’m not telling you when it is. Just to be on the safe side you might want to consider not giving lettuce to ANYBODY for the rest of the week.” ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2016, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1027 "2016-10-06T23:04:19Z")
Dear fellow ladies: I don’t know who has been responsible for this in the past week, but please stop leaving shit smears in the toilet bowl. \>.\< That particular toilet has a very powerful flush…if the first flush doesn’t get it, flushing again with a few clumps of toilet paper will solve the problem. Dear new inspector: stop ‘man-splaining’ the inspection procedure to me. I wrote the damn thing. Dear well-established inspector: way to go on making yourself look like a jackass by repeatedly (and loudly) insisting that the two parts in the box were exactly the same. I went and checked for myself before talking to you…they were completely different parts. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2016, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1028 "2016-10-11T15:18:18Z")
Dear integration engineer: Yes, you will need a user name and password for your script that needs to connect to the password-protected application you want to automate. I’m not sure why you are surprised by this. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_Hey_Paula)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2016, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1029 "2016-10-15T02:51:00Z")
Not a workplace rant, but a job listings rant: Since rage-quitting my job in January (still the best split-second decision I ever made) I’ve been half-assedly looking at job listings on Craigslist. I’m looking for a local, part-time job within my skill set (legal secretary/office worker) with a reasonable rate of pay. Rant 1 - I see lots of full time job listings that require a ridiculous amount of of experience and qualifications, only to pay 10 bucks an hour. Which is minimum wage in my area. Rant 2 - I see part time job listings that sound interesting, that I might be a perfect fit for, only to see that they declare “you will receive a 1099 at the end of the year.” In other words, illegally classifying an employee as an independent contractor. No thanks, I’m not working your crappy job with no work comp insurance and no withholding! Rant 3 - saw a job listing today, asked for resume, cover letter and answers to a few questions, the last of which was “What is your favorite movie?” Seriously, you want to know what a potential data entry person’s favorite movie is? I know you don’t really want to know, it’s a bullshit question, but all it does is let me know you’re a bullshit employer. TLDR I’m so glad we can afford for me to not work, because the job market is bullshit, at least on Craigslist. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2016, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1030 "2016-10-15T21:36:49Z")
> [@Hey\_Hey\_Paula](#): > > TLDR I’m so glad we can afford for me to not work, because the job market is bullshit, at least on Craigslist. Have you looked on Indeed? Monster? CareerBuilder? ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2016, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1031 "2016-10-15T21:42:39Z")
Not really a rant but perhaps a clue as to what’s to come: So we’re maybe a month or so into New To Us Employer and people are starting to drop like proverbial flies as in either stepping down from management positions or quitting outright. I’m not sure what to think. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_Hey_Paula)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2016, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1032 "2016-10-16T15:14:43Z")
> [@kiz](#): > > Have you looked on Indeed? Monster? CareerBuilder? Yes, but I haven’t seen much in the way of part-time jobs on those sites. I have no intention of going back to work full time, partly because I don’t need to and partly because of my husbands health issues - he has another surgery pending soon, among other things. Most of what those sites offer seems to be through agencies anyway. If I decided to go from half-assed job search to full-assed job search, I’ll get in touch with some agencies and see what they have to offer. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2016, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1033 "2016-10-16T17:08:42Z")
> [@kiz](#): > > Not really a rant but perhaps a clue as to what’s to come: > > So we’re maybe a month or so into New To Us Employer and people are starting to drop like proverbial flies as in either stepping down from management positions or quitting outright. > > I’m not sure what to think. I think it’s time to update your resume and start another job hunt. Stinks, but you can legitimately say what you just posted as a reason for getting off the ship before it takes you down. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2016, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1034 "2016-10-17T07:18:10Z")
> [@Typo\_Knig](#): > > I think it’s time to update your resume and start another job hunt. Stinks, but you can legitimately say what you just posted as a reason for getting off the ship before it takes you down. I’ve been poking around different job sites for awhile now. It’s interesting that the same companies advertise the same job again and again and again… What’s been saving my arse thus far is being the only person who can do what I do. If something happens to me, everything’s up the fecal-stained creek. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2016, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1035 "2016-10-18T13:12:59Z")
Dear colleague who set up a meeting with me two months ago: Don’t email me 10 minutes before the meeting asking where I want to meet. You booked the meeting, you book the room. All the rooms on my floor are booked out days in advance. Now it’s 12 minutes past and you said 8 minutes ago that you’d call me via Skype. Grrr. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2016, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1036 "2016-10-18T14:39:53Z")
Poop. Workplace had a logo design contest for a new learning outreach called MLC GO! The director printed out all the submissions and pinned them on the wall, leaving instructions to put your initials by your favorite. I thought, what’s synonymous with “GO!”? Bird flying perhaps? Tried fitting a bird’s silhouette into the title, and didn’t work so good. Then I thought Jungle Cats! Cheetahs go. They’re the fastest land mammal on earth! So I made 4 versions with jungle cats chasing each other inside the title with different color schemes. None of them got any votes. Were they too scary? Too subtle? It’s not like I made the cats maul prey or anything. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2016, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1037 "2016-10-19T04:13:53Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > …So I made 4 versions with jungle cats chasing each other inside the title with different color schemes. > > None of them got any votes. > > Were they too scary? Too subtle? It’s not like I made the cats maul prey or anything. Maybe they thought the jungle images were plagiarized, because they heard the cat was a cheetah… ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2016, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1038 "2016-10-19T15:28:41Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Maybe they thought the jungle images were plagiarized, because they heard the cat was a cheetah… Admittedly, the cheetahs were clip art, so they wouldn’t be lion… ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2016, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1039 "2016-10-19T17:41:17Z")
I wouldn’t have voted for logos that had _cheetahs_ as _jungle_ cats, either. Since I know they’re _savannah_ cats. (Of course, I probably would’ve also put a snarky post-it on the logo saying so, too. 'Cause I’m pretty much that guy.) ---
**Author:** ![tenacious\_j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tenacious\_j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tenacious_j)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2016, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1040 "2016-10-19T19:26:41Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > Admittedly, the cheetahs were clip art, so they wouldn’t be lion… 🙂 🙂 Aaaaah, the often rumored, rarely seen out-of-office triangle. George is out, please email Shirley. Shirley is sick, please email Loretta. Loretta is traveling, please email George. Either all three will ignore me upon returning or I’ll get three totally different answers. Yippee. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638.md?page=51) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638.md?page=53)