# New and Unimproved Workplace Rants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 14, 2015, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638 "2015-10-14T15:44:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 61
**Author:** ![4kad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/7cd45c/32.png) [@4kad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/4kad)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2017, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1201 "2017-03-22T18:32:14Z")
Would really like coworkers to stop singing out loud at their desk. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1202 "2017-03-23T02:54:42Z")
> [@Mom-of-Andrew](#): > > I just got a notice about something happening May 8th, and my first thought was, “I won’t be married anymore that day.” > > I’ve known the final hearing was April 26th for a couple of weeks now, but that just kinda hit me. > > It’s gonna be a whole new world now. [offers hug and chocolate] ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1203 "2017-03-23T03:50:20Z")
_A whollllle new world…_ > [@](#): > > Would really like coworkers to stop singing out loud at their desk. Oops, sorry. ---
**Author:** ![4kad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/7cd45c/32.png) [@4kad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/4kad)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1204 "2017-03-23T11:17:32Z")
> [@digs](#): > > _A whollllle new world…_ > > Oops, sorry. I forgot about that Peabo Bryson song. Lol ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1205 "2017-03-23T12:48:51Z")
> [@4kad](#): > > Would really like coworkers to stop singing out loud at their desk. I had that same problem too (mentioned up thread somewhere), but we laid off the singer. Her singing wasn’t even in the top 10 of reasons for choosing her for layoff, but I tell ya, it made the whole process a little easier. There is also a hummer in the department, and after talking to her twice about her humming, I had her down to about 10% of the previous humming level. After laying off her duet partner (the singer), she’s stopped completely. Success! ---
**Author:** ![4kad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/7cd45c/32.png) [@4kad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/4kad)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1206 "2017-03-23T13:57:33Z")
> [@Whiskey\_Dickens](#): > > I had that same problem too (mentioned up thread somewhere), but we laid off the singer. Her singing wasn’t even in the top 10 of reasons for choosing her for layoff, but I tell ya, it made the whole process a little easier. > > There is also a hummer in the department, and after talking to her twice about her humming, I had her down to about 10% of the previous humming level. After laying off her duet partner (the singer), she’s stopped completely. Success! I just can’t understand why someone who works in a office would think singing and humming is normal behavior. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1207 "2017-03-23T17:12:47Z")
I once worked in a smallish building with a whistler. He wasn’t even in my hallway, but with cinder block walls and tile floors, those high pitches carry forever. Thank goodness I was on an outside wall where my radio would work. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1208 "2017-03-23T22:38:43Z")
We have a manager at my workplace who will occasionally sing over the intercom late on Friday afternoons. It’s a standard intercom system, so the whole thing repeats after he hangs up. \>.\< ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2017, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1209 "2017-03-28T15:45:10Z")
It’s a fucking wireless keyboard you dipshit! You have to change the batteries every once in awhile. Don’t sit there and pitch a fit and bitch that ‘you don’t understand PC’s’. Get fresh batteries and move on with life. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2017, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1210 "2017-03-28T22:44:29Z")
“Ugh, my mouse keeps skipping, and there’s this red light flashing on top. I need to fill out a purchase requisition for a new one.” This person now thinks I’m some kind of computer genius because I knew this meant the mouse needed fresh batteries. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![OsageOrange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/6a8cbe/32.png) [@OsageOrange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OsageOrange)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2017, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1211 "2017-03-28T23:42:42Z")
Dear new co-worker: Just because you did x for y years somewhere else, you don’t have the right to tell me how to do x here. The x I do is done differently here, and I’ve been doing it to our boss’s satisfaction for z years. Until you are promoted to supervisor here, keep your yap shut! ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2017, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1212 "2017-03-29T08:02:55Z")
Running some testing. Last week this worked. 😕 Last week, this other thing worked! 😕 WTFF? The project manager/costing guy changed the whole costing structure and didn’t tell anybody, figuring out that we’d complain if anything had got broken. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2017, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1213 "2017-03-29T09:43:41Z")
That little change? He broke all the materials. All the machines. Half the master data from Production, and all of the vendors. Our materials dude is having to remind himself that murder is illegal even when warranted. And this is the project manager. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2017, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1214 "2017-03-29T13:29:07Z")
Two words. “Industrial accident”. Doesn’t matter the industry. Getting one’s head slammed in a door a half dozen times is a common hazard. ---
**Author:** ![Chisquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6bbea6/32.png) [@Chisquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chisquirrel)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2017, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1215 "2017-03-29T17:28:41Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Two words. “Industrial accident”. > > Doesn’t matter the industry. Getting one’s head slammed in a door a half dozen times is a common hazard. This. Are any of these materials heavy and stored over head, like in a rack that’s been poorly maintained, or made to look poorly maintained? In other parts of the world, who should get the project of updating/upgrading the paint system - the employee who has knowledge and experience with high quality paint systems, or the employee that has NO understanding of it and a tendency to “hand off” projects half-completed? Never mind that I specifically requested to start this during my annual review, or just finished his last half-assed idea. One of these days, I’m just going to do it my way instead of trying to puzzle out what his plan was. ---
**Author:** ![Kelevra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/97f17d/32.png) [@Kelevra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kelevra)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2017, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1216 "2017-03-29T19:07:31Z")
We need a new web page for my subject matter area. So I put together all the information I wanted on the page and asked for a meeting with our IT manager and our Communications person. I gave some ideas on what layout I was looking for and said “What I don’t want is just one long page with all this just pasted on there.” What did I get? One long page with all the info pasted on there. I went to them today and said “I looked at the new web page. It’s everything I didn’t want.” ---
**Author:** ![Mom-of-Andrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@Mom-of-Andrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mom-of-Andrew)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2017, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1217 "2017-03-31T15:55:52Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Two words. “Industrial accident”. > > Doesn’t matter the industry. Getting one’s head slammed in a door a half dozen times is a common hazard. I admire the way you think and wish to subscribe to your newsletter. ---
**Author:** ![JcWoman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jcwoman/32/2889_2.png) [@JcWoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JcWoman)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2017, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1218 "2017-03-31T16:53:30Z")
Along with all the other more serious BS at my job (that I’ve ranted about in various threads in the Dope), there seems to be some kind of Campaign to Encourage Happiness and Joy. There is a manager I don’t report to, but gives me 98% of my work (yeah, peeve # 434,874) who has recently started monthly team meetings. She runs two teams, both of which I got conscripted to. She’s decided that the first item on the agenda of these team meetings is for people to say something they’re grateful for. Purely on a voluntary basis (wink wink yeah voluntary wink wink). I try to be a pleasant person to work with, but forced joviality is Not My Thing. So I’ve declined to participate in this practice. But to my horror, my cow-orkers seem to be lapping it up. We’re getting to a point where the first half of each meeting is taken up with “I want to say that I’m grateful to Bob for…” to which Bob responds “Oh, and I’m grateful to you too!” and people listing off multiple people they’re grateful for like it’s the Academy Awards. The really peevesome part is how much it makes me look bad to not participate. Fuck you, Forced Happiness Manager! ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2017, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1219 "2017-03-31T17:50:33Z")
Could you go macro? “I’m grateful there isn’t a nuclear war going on right now.” “I’m grateful that the sun continues to shine.” “I’m grateful I’m not dead.” ---
**Author:** ![Kelevra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/97f17d/32.png) [@Kelevra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kelevra)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2017, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638/1220 "2017-03-31T17:53:18Z")
> [@JcWoman](#): > > Along with all the other more serious BS at my job (that I’ve ranted about in various threads in the Dope), there seems to be some kind of Campaign to Encourage Happiness and Joy. There is a manager I don’t report to, but gives me 98% of my work (yeah, peeve # 434,874) who has recently started monthly team meetings. She runs two teams, both of which I got conscripted to. She’s decided that the first item on the agenda of these team meetings is for people to say something they’re grateful for. Purely on a voluntary basis (wink wink yeah voluntary wink wink). > > I try to be a pleasant person to work with, but forced joviality is Not My Thing. So I’ve declined to participate in this practice. But to my horror, my cow-orkers seem to be lapping it up. We’re getting to a point where the first half of each meeting is taken up with “I want to say that I’m grateful to Bob for…” to which Bob responds “Oh, and I’m grateful to you too!” and people listing off multiple people they’re grateful for like it’s the Academy Awards. > > The really peevesome part is how much it makes me look bad to not participate. Fuck you, Forced Happiness Manager! Tell them you already wear the required # of pieces of flair. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638.md?page=60) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-and-unimproved-workplace-rants/734638.md?page=62)