OH my god I just need to vent.
I have a new boss. I didn’t have one for six months, and I got rather used to it. The new CEO was my boss, and she listened to me because she didn’t know what she was doing. I’m a grants manager with thirteen years experience in the field of grant writing.
Funding opportunity comes up. They have funded us in the past. Three people attended the meeting with this funder, in which they described her as “pissed - but we won her over.” Great. “You have to submit this grant ASAP,” they tell me. “Write it about A,” CEO tells me. “She definitely emphasized A during the meeting.” OK, I have a vacation scheduled for the following week, so I submitted the draft of the grant for feedback within literal hours of being told to make it a priority. New boss then responds, “No, it’s supposed to be for B. She very clearly said [things indicating not B, but C.]” Great, so now we have three possible things this funder is expecting from this grant, which I have already written once, and nobody can agree.
Meanwhile, I see an email from said funder in which she says she wants us to submit for D. New boss has zero grant writing experience but she seems to think she knows exactly what this funder wants, even though what she says directly contradicts the funder’s email.
CEO asks me for my input, since I am the fucking grant expert, and I provide it. “I’d say we go by the most recent email she sent and submit it for D. We can incorporate some of New Bosses’ ideas for future collaborations in this other section.” CEO asks me the amount I recommend we submit for, and I give a modest bump up from what they’ve given us in the past. No, New Boss wants us to apply for what seems to be an insultingly large quantity of money (insulting given that the funder is currently pissed at us and we should be begging for table scraps at this point.) CEO pushes back on New Boss, New Boss does not budge. She insists I submit it for $X.
At this point it’s been a week since I first wrote the draft for feedback. It is the day before my vacation. I draft the new version, which tries to incorporate New Boss ideas while also trying to write something that is likely to be funded, and immediately send it back to New Boss for feedback. I wait for feedback so that I can submit it that day, so it does not interfere with my vacation. I do not receive feedback that day. OK, guess this “urgent grant” I was ready to submit last week can wait until Monday then.
Then, during my vacation, I get an email from new boss saying she knows I am ''technically off" today but funder is pressuring her to submit the application so can I submit it first thing Monday? First of all, I am not “technically off” work today, I am using PTO I put in for two months ago. Second of all, no, I was unable to do it first thing Monday, which is why I finished it today, on my vacation.
I’m afraid the funder is going to think this ask is confusing, because it kind of is (I did my best), I am worried they are going to be pissed we asked for so much money, and I am worried this is going to be a trend.
I actually do like New Boss, she’s been great especially with the flexible schedule I need to address my son’s needs, she even said I didn’t have to take PTO for his ADOS… but I kind of feel like she’s playing with fire here, not yet understanding the grants process or how grants fund our programming but insisting we do things her way rather listening to ME, someone who eats, sleeps, and breathes grant writing and has been at this agency for almost eight years.
And a part of me is just like, how much does this matter? Am I just pissed because someone is telling me what to do again? I don’t remember feeling like this with the old boss. Old boss was the best boss I ever had. Am I just mad this person is not Old Boss? That’s not fair to her. Maybe I need to give it more of a chance. But I am not happy how this went. It was an extraordinarily stressful one-week ordeal that should have taken two hours.