# New Basketball League: You Aren't Going to Believe This **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [January 20, 2010, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-basketball-league-you-arent-going-to-believe-this/525743 "2010-01-20T21:21:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-basketball-league-you-arent-going-to-believe-this/525743/41 "2010-01-22T17:57:31Z")
> [@Tom\_Scud](#): > > Big, thick “Kurt Rambis” glasses are an acceptable substitute. 😃 And grooming, especially armpit grooming, is strictly forbidden! ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-basketball-league-you-arent-going-to-believe-this/525743/42 "2010-01-22T18:01:35Z")
> [@unwashed\_brain](#): > > Low-top sneakers only. Exception will be granted for Chuck Taylors. But only black ones. And the patch has to be white. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-basketball-league-you-arent-going-to-believe-this/525743/43 "2010-01-22T18:02:05Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > Arnold is waaaaay too short to play hoops. Whatchoo talkin’ 'bout, Willis? ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-basketball-league-you-arent-going-to-believe-this/525743/44 "2010-01-22T18:10:56Z")
The picket fence must be run at least once every game. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-basketball-league-you-arent-going-to-believe-this/525743/45 "2010-01-22T18:21:12Z")
Uniform shorts must come barely below the crotch. All arenas will have copies of the 1986 Boston Celtics championship banner. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-basketball-league-you-arent-going-to-believe-this/525743/46 "2010-01-22T18:22:09Z")
2010 Champions? The Indiana Pacers. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-basketball-league-you-arent-going-to-believe-this/525743/47 "2010-01-22T18:50:44Z")
Every team must have a Notre Dame graduate in its starting five. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-basketball-league-you-arent-going-to-believe-this/525743/48 "2010-01-22T20:14:00Z")
Of course, people on the SDMB are quick to decry the idea that smart, fundamental, defense-oriented, old-school basketball is “white,” and to call such thinking racist. Problem is, a LOT of black fans and players think the same way! Given that NOBODY played a “whiter” style of basketball than Bill Russell, it’s hard to understand this kind of thinking. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Sensitive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58956e/32.png) [@Darth\_Sensitive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Sensitive)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-basketball-league-you-arent-going-to-believe-this/525743/49 "2010-01-22T23:13:50Z")
Any tattoos must be black, in moderately sized Times New Roman or Arial font, and shall refer to a Bible verse or the name of a dead loved one. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-basketball-league-you-arent-going-to-believe-this/525743/50 "2010-01-22T23:14:54Z")
And they must be on the arms, legs, or back. Tattoos on the neck are right out. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-basketball-league-you-arent-going-to-believe-this/525743/51 "2010-01-23T00:17:02Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > Of course, people on the SDMB are quick to decry the idea that smart, fundamental, defense-oriented, old-school basketball is “white,” and to call such thinking racist. > > Problem is, a LOT of black fans and players think the same way! > > Given that NOBODY played a “whiter” style of basketball than Bill Russell, it’s hard to understand this kind of thinking. **Astorian** we didn’t say that, the guy who wants to start the league did. ---
**Author:** ![Chicagojeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b19c9b/32.png) [@Chicagojeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicagojeff)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-basketball-league-you-arent-going-to-believe-this/525743/52 "2010-01-23T03:19:23Z")
This had this idiot on 790 the zone here in Atlanta today. from what i was able to determine this guy is whistling in the dark… Theirs no league to speak of but Moose was able to get plenty of pub from this… Here’s my query… Would Grayson Boucher AKA the Professor be allowed to play?? He is white… american born… but since he played in And1 would that disqualfiy him?? ---
**Author:** ![enomaj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@enomaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enomaj)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-basketball-league-you-arent-going-to-believe-this/525743/53 "2010-01-23T05:18:29Z")
Grayson Boucher is allowed but can only be shown dribbling from the waist up. Every team must have a player who walked on in college. The Christian Laettner Hall of Fame will be located in Livonia, MI. (Whitest city in US per 2000 census.) Players on IR must wear Dockers and a sweater vest on the sidelines. ---
**Author:** ![DKW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dkw/32/3118_2.png) [@DKW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DKW)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-basketball-league-you-arent-going-to-believe-this/525743/54 "2010-01-23T20:40:32Z")
Pardon me for asking this, but it’s been long enough. Has there been any evidence whatsoever that this league is going to, y’know, _happen?_ Rules, teams, players, rosters, ownership, brass, officials, spokespeople, equipment, uniforms, logos, arenas, schedules, broadcasting, funding, marketing, merchandise, etc., etc., all the things that ACTUAL EXISTENT SPORTS LEAGUES have. Mock the XFL all you want, but it got off the ground, it got on TV, it made headlines, and it had one full season culminating in a championship. That’s a hell of a lot more than I’m seeing here. If this goes beyond the “useless prick’s childish trolling” phase, I’ll gladly join the discussion. Until then, my only opinion is: Whatever, moron. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Sensitive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58956e/32.png) [@Darth\_Sensitive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Sensitive)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-basketball-league-you-arent-going-to-believe-this/525743/55 "2010-01-23T23:34:23Z")
I think WonderBread is the title sponsor. ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2010, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-basketball-league-you-arent-going-to-believe-this/525743/56 "2010-01-24T05:59:18Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > It’s going to be tough for them to play in those white robes, and I don’t think the eyeholes in their masks are going to be big enough to see. Give your username, this post is doubly hilarious. Wouldn’t the Blue Devils be a charter member of this league anyway? You’d basically have to make it illegal to score from inside the lane, because Shawn Bradley’s out of basketball so there aren’t going to be any centers. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-basketball-league-you-arent-going-to-believe-this/525743.md?page=2)