# New book for kids: ""Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 21, 2005, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777 "2005-09-21T20:48:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/21 "2005-09-21T21:34:02Z")
Dr. Suess might be viewed as liberal indoctrination: Yertle the Turtle (Okay, maybe more anarchist than liberal…) The Butter Battle Book (Pacifism) The Lorax (Environmentalism, condemnation of conspicuous consumption and unethical capitalists.) Etc… etc… If any of the values put forth in the Suess books were abhorrent to you, I imagine you’d see them as pretty sinister brainwashing efforts. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/22 "2005-09-21T21:34:59Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > See below. That shoulda been, “see post #12.” Damn that vertigo! ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/23 "2005-09-21T21:39:22Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > Have you read anything about the book? I have, and I wouldn’t say it fits within the parameters of “verifiable, factual, or intended to teach objectively verificable facts.” It’s about a couple kids who open a lemonade stand. First their tax rate goes up to 50% so the government can buy dustpans for poor children to wear as shoes. Then they are told to take down a picture of Jesus they have on their stand. Finally they’re told they must give out broccoli along with each cup of lemonade they sell. > > Tell me which of those scenarios is even analagous to anything in the real world. The closest may be taxes, the rest are pretty much completely out there. > > Enjoy, > Steven I don’t think **Bricker** is saying that HMTALUMB is factual, I think he’s saying that _Heather Has Two Mommies_ is NOT factual. And he’s right, in a sense, as “we should accept homosexual couples”, while a statement I wholeheartedly agree with, is not one that can really be objectively tested and proved. Anyhow, there’s a HUGE difference in tone between _Heather Has Two Mommies_, which is basically saying “here’s a position I support, and I’ve written a book trying to introduce children to that position in a positive fashion”, and _Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed_, which is basically saying “these are people I hate, and I’ve written a book trying to introduce children to that position”. It’s like the difference between a children’s book by George Will and one by Michael Savage. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/24 "2005-09-21T21:39:49Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > Have you read anything about the book? I have, and I wouldn’t say it fits within the parameters of “verifiable, factual, or intended to teach objectively verificable facts.” It’s about a couple kids who open a lemonade stand. First their tax rate goes up to 50% so the government can buy dustpans for poor children to wear as shoes. Then they are told to take down a picture of Jesus they have on their stand. Finally they’re told they must give out broccoli along with each cup of lemonade they sell. > > Tell me which of those scenarios is even analagous to anything in the real world. The closest may be taxes, the rest are pretty much completely out there. > > Enjoy, > Steven Did I miss my own post defending the lemonade stand as not being indoctrination? ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/25 "2005-09-21T21:44:31Z")
Honestly, these days I’ve started to expect nothing less than “The Eternal Liberal” showing up on the bestseller shelves. ;j ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/26 "2005-09-21T21:53:25Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Did I miss my own post defending the lemonade stand as not being indoctrination? Yes, you did. Look, we’ll tell you what you posted and you’ll _like_ it! And eat your broccoli! ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/27 "2005-09-21T21:55:47Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > Dr. Suess might be viewed as liberal indoctrination: > > Yertle the Turtle (Okay, maybe more anarchist than liberal…) > > The Butter Battle Book (Pacifism) > > The Lorax (Environmentalism, condemnation of conspicuous consumption and unethical capitalists.) > > Etc… etc… > > If any of the values put forth in the Suess books were abhorrent to you, I imagine you’d see them as pretty sinister brainwashing efforts. [hijack]Actually, _Yertle the Turtle_ was a statement on Hitler and Nazi Germany[/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/28 "2005-09-21T21:56:23Z")
Someone needs to publish “Help! Mom! There are Conservatives Under My Bed!” It’ll start off with the children running a succesful lemonade stand (although several customers get mildly ill due to their refusal to follow health and safety codes). Then they get drafted, and serve in the infantry in an imperialist war of agression against a country that we suspect may have harbored an intent to plan to harm us. Billy is killed in the war when a mortar fragment disembowls him, and the same explosion that killed Billy makes Johnny a deaf, dumb, and mute quadrapalegic. The entire story is told by him, after the explosion, has he remembers his past life from a series of cheap, corrupt nursing homes (which are the only ones who’ll take him given the measly benefits payed him by the government). ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/29 "2005-09-21T22:02:53Z")
I’ve not actually read _Heather has Two Mommies_, so I don’t if it actually comes out and says, “It’s okay to be gay.” My impression is that it shows the home life of a young girl be raised by in a stable household by a pair of monogamous lesbians. Which is a situation that exsists many times over in real life, and which more and more children from heterosexual households are going to encounter. Even if the author is putting a positive spin on the relationship, it’s still a factional situation. (Or at least, fictionalized representation of a factual situation.) I suppose it counts as indoctrination, and there are all sorts of arguments over the validity/morality of the relationship being presented, but it’s being honest: there really are couples just like this. The book mentioned in the OP, on the other hand, is simply lying. Liberals have no interest in, for example, forcing private enterprises to refrain from mentioning Jesus. It’s also indoctrination, just like _Heather_, but it does so by lying. To children. Now, call me crazy, but I think that kinda sucks, no matter what position is being advocated. ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/30 "2005-09-21T22:10:09Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > [snip] Then they get drafted, and serve in the infantry in an imperialist war of agression against a country that we suspect may have harbored an intent to plan to harm us. Billy is killed in the war when a mortar fragment disembowls him, and the same explosion that killed Billy makes Johnny a deaf, dumb, and mute quadrapalegic. The entire story is told by him, after the explosion, has he remembers his past life from a series of cheap, corrupt nursing homes (which are the only ones who’ll take him given the measly benefits payed him by the government). Isn’t that the plot of [Johnny Got His Gun](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067277/)? ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/31 "2005-09-21T22:17:49Z")
Well, the book seems to accurately reflect both the values and the intellectual sophistication of neoconservatives. “Liberals baaaaaaad.” ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/32 "2005-09-21T22:34:28Z")
> [@George Kaplin](#): > > Well, if it were Conservativeland Tommy and Lou wouldn’t have been able to get their lemonade stand funded by the state in the first place 🙂 Actually, in Conservativeland Tommy and Lou’s lemonade stand does good business. This attracts the attention of Wal-Mart which opens a competing stand over in the next block. Tommy and Lou are driven out of business, but are hired by Wal-Mart at 15 cents an hour, thus learning a valuable lesson about succeeding in the business world. Plus they get wonderful health benefits. \ "I’ve got it again - that creepy feeling that _ **something’s on top of the bed** _. \ ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/33 "2005-09-21T22:38:30Z")
I would like to thank the other liberals who have taken the stance, “Yes, it is indoctrination just like a lot of liberal children’s books,” and who have not gotten viciously mad. I like to believe that we have a better sense of humor than most conservatives, but the remainder of the posts in this thread remind me that that is not necessarily so. The quotes from **Garfield266** remind that every side has more than its share of hypocrites. Sheesh, people advocating burning a book while taking the liberal side of an issue pisses me off no end. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/34 "2005-09-21T22:40:55Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Are there any children’s books which are fairly described as _indoctrination_ for a liberal point of view? Others have mentioned Dr. Seuss. _The Butter Battle Book_ was the most overtly liberal, being a condemnation of nuclear weapons and the cold war standoff between the USSR and the West. _Yertle the Turtle_ doesn’t qualify; it was anti-fascist. \* The Lorax\* isn’t so much about extreme environmentalism as it is about conservation and wise use of resources. At the time it was written, that wasn’t a specifically “liberal” cause - concern for the condition of our natural resources was more or less bipartisan (remember, it was Nixon who signed the Clean Air Act and created the EPA.) Interestingly enough, Dr. Seuss himself said that _Marvin K Mooney, Will You Please Go Now_ was written about Richard Nixon; Art Buchwald wrote in his 30 July 1974 newspaper column that Seuss sent him a copy with “Marvin K Mooney” crossed out and “Richard M Nixon” written in. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/35 "2005-09-21T22:49:38Z")
I have no problem w/ it: If it is not forced on anyone to read And if political you know the political leanings ahead of time of the author Seems to fit my standards, so I would not ban this book, nor burn it. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/36 "2005-09-21T23:00:36Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > IAnyhow, there’s a HUGE difference in tone between _Heather Has Two Mommies_, which is basically saying “here’s a position I support, and I’ve written a book trying to introduce children to that position in a positive fashion”, and _Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed_, which is basically saying “these are people I hate, and I’ve written a book trying to introduce children to that position”. You’re just saying that because you haven’t read the newest version: _Christians Hate Heather’s Two Mommies For No Reason And Therefore Are All Jerks_ ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/37 "2005-09-21T23:02:32Z")
Check out this comic, “Liberality”: [http://accstudios.com/f/synopsis1.htm](http://accstudios.com/f/synopsis1.htm) "America’s future has become an Orwellian nightmare of ultra-liberalism. Beginning with the Gore Presidency, the government has become increasingly dominated by liberal extremists. In 2004, Muslim terrorists stopped viewing the weakened American government as a threat; instead they set their sights on their true enemies, vocal American conservatives. On one dark day, in 2006, many conservative voices were forever silenced by terrorist assassins. Those which survived joined forces and formed a powerful covert conservative organization called “The Freedom of Information League”, aka F.O.I.L. " “The New York City faction of F.O.I.L. is lead by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North, each uniquely endowed with special abilities devised by a bio mechanical engineer affectionately nicknamed “Oscar”. F.O.I.L. is soon to be joined by a young man named Reagan McGee.” ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/38 "2005-09-21T23:07:59Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Check out this comic, “Liberality”: > [Web Page Under Construction](http://accstudios.com/f/synopsis1.htm) > "The New York City faction of F.O.I.L. is lead by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North, each uniquely endowed with special abilities devised by a bio mechanical engineer affectionately nicknamed “Oscar”… Tch. They need Jack Chick to edit. Science has no place in F.O.I.L. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/39 "2005-09-22T00:20:51Z")
I’d like to see Sesame Street’s Grover in **There’s a Liberal at the End of this Book** , to be ollowed by Elmo and Grover in **here’s _Another_ Liberal at the end of _Ths_ Book** Grover: No, Elmo! The Liberal at the end of this book may be a warm, fuzzy liberal like Cookie or Herry or you or me, but it might be a _scary_ liberal Vegan! Elmo: Turny! Turmy! Turn! . ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/40 "2005-09-22T00:26:09Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Are there any children’s books which are fairly described as _indoctrination_ for a liberal point of view? I have no problem with parents buying books that promote their own values. What’s disturbing about this particular book is that it’s focus seems to be less about promoting conservative values than demonizing liberals. I’m a very liberal guy, but I would never read “Goldilocks and the Big Bad Conservative” to my kids. It just seems kind of hateful. Another example: My wife and I are staunch atheists and we regularly “indoctrinate” our kids with atheist messages. But we never attack Christians while we’re doing it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777.md?page=3)