# New book for kids: ""Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 21, 2005, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777 "2005-09-21T20:48:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/61 "2005-09-22T04:56:59Z")
> [@Stephe96](#): > > Hmmm. I’d like to see more books in this series. How 'bout **Help! There’s A Liberal Driving The Car!** , featuring, of course, the Ted Kennedy character? Okay. _That’s_ funny. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/62 "2005-09-22T05:04:08Z")
> [@Stephe96](#): > > Hmmm. I’d like to see more books in this series. How 'bout **Help! There’s A Liberal Driving The Car!** , featuring, of course, the Ted Kennedy character? _splort_ ow, my sides… Maybe… **Help! There’s a Liberal Trying to Mark a Ballot!** – set, of course, in Palm Beach County? ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/63 "2005-09-22T05:26:53Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > What’s _really_ amusing is that, back when the Soviets did this sorta stuff, conservatives used to call it by its proper name - _indoctrination_. How quickly we forget! No, when the Soviets did it it was government policy, not good ol’ free-market Republicanism. Other than that, what’s your point? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/64 "2005-09-22T05:29:51Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I’ve not actually read _Heather has Two Mommies_, so I don’t if it actually comes out and says, “It’s okay to be gay.” My impression is that it shows the home life of a young girl be raised by in a stable household by a pair of monogamous lesbians. Which is a situation that exsists many times over in real life, and which more and more children from heterosexual households are going to encounter. Even if the author is putting a positive spin on the relationship, it’s still a factional situation. (Or at least, fictionalized representation of a factual situation.) I suppose it counts as indoctrination, and there are all sorts of arguments over the validity/morality of the relationship being presented, but it’s being honest: there really are couples just like this. The book mentioned in the OP, on the other hand, is simply lying. Liberals have no interest in, for example, forcing private enterprises to refrain from mentioning Jesus. It’s also indoctrination, just like _Heather_, but it does so by lying. To children. Now, call me crazy, but I think that kinda sucks, no matter what position is being advocated. I read it years ago in an ed psych class. The only problem we found was that it talked about how Heather’s Mommy Kate had the doctor put sperm in her vagina, which I thought was a little too technical for kids. (How does one explain artificial insemination to five-year-olds? I think that MIGHT be a little confusing to them). Other than that, it was fine. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/65 "2005-09-22T05:37:28Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Check out this comic, “Liberality”: > [Web Page Under Construction](http://accstudios.com/f/synopsis1.htm) > > "America’s future has become an Orwellian nightmare of ultra-liberalism. Beginning with the Gore Presidency, the government has become increasingly dominated by liberal extremists. > > In 2004, Muslim terrorists stopped viewing the weakened American government as a threat; instead they set their sights on their true enemies, vocal American conservatives. On one dark day, in 2006, many conservative voices were forever silenced by terrorist assassins. Those which survived joined forces and formed a powerful covert conservative organization called “The Freedom of Information League”, aka F.O.I.L. " > > “The New York City faction of F.O.I.L. is lead by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North, each uniquely endowed with special abilities devised by a bio mechanical engineer affectionately nicknamed “Oscar”. F.O.I.L. is soon to be joined by a young man named Reagan McGee.” That’s a parody comic, right? Right? Please, please tell me it’s a parody? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/66 "2005-09-22T05:41:35Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > … (How does one explain artificial insemination to five-year-olds?.. When a syringe and a vagina are really, really in love… ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/67 "2005-09-22T05:53:18Z")
> [@Pochacco](#): > > What’s disturbing about this particular book is that it’s focus seems to be less about promoting conservative values than demonizing liberals. I think those are the only “values” conservatives have left these days. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/68 "2005-09-22T06:13:30Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > When a syringe and a vagina are really, really in love… He’ll be here all week, folks. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/69 "2005-09-22T11:39:49Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > Dr. Suess might be viewed as liberal indoctrination: > > Yertle the Turtle (Okay, maybe more anarchist than liberal…) > > The Butter Battle Book (Pacifism) > > The Lorax (Environmentalism, condemnation of conspicuous consumption and unethical capitalists.) > > Etc… etc… > > If any of the values put forth in the Suess books were abhorrent to you, I imagine you’d see them as pretty sinister brainwashing efforts. As a counterpoint, I offer you **Horton Hatches and Egg**. This book clearly condemns non-stay-at-home mothers and promotes genetic engineering. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/70 "2005-09-22T11:55:28Z")
A non-partisan book: **Heather Has Two Senators**. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/71 "2005-09-22T12:19:09Z")
Can we retitle this this thread? Maybe to, _The SDMB Meta-review of Books We Haven’t Read_? ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/72 "2005-09-22T12:25:20Z")
> [@UncleBeer](#): > > Can we retitle this this thread? Maybe to, _The SDMB Meta-review of Books We Haven’t Read_? To be fair, I think the chances of this book having content that differs significantly from its title and back-cover blurb are about the same as Noam Chomsky’s latest saying something like “Imperialism really isn’t so bad; and it’s time for linguistics to move one–I was wrong.” ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/73 "2005-09-22T12:32:07Z")
> [@UncleBeer](#): > > Can we retitle this this thread? Maybe to, _The SDMB Meta-review of Books We Haven’t Read_? Actually, I read snippets of it, thanks to the avalibilty of [searching inside of a book on Amazon](http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/1594675066/103-3995542-1508606?v=search-inside). It seems it really is as bad as it sounds. > [@Amazon](#): > > 1. on Page 17: > “… fingers on his belly. “I am Mayor Leach of Liberaland,” he held out his meaty hand, “Have you paid your tax?” …” > > 2. on Page 19: > "… “Tax?” Tommy asked. “What is that?” “Well,” the liberal’s red cheeks smiled, “That is where you give the government half of …” > > 3. on Page 35: > “… and saved a little extra money for the children with no shoes, and paid half of their money for the tax, and prayed quietly with a big toe atop their stand, and gave out two pieces of broccoli with each glass …” > > 4. on Page 37: > "… day, all the liberals started streaming out from behind the lemon tree with cameras flashing and microphones whirling, shouting: “More taxes! More dustpans!” “No one is eating their vegetables!” “I heard praying!” “You do not know how to run this stand, …” > > 5. from Back Matter: > “… Cast of Characters The cranky Liberals are gone for now, but they’ll soon be back with more taxes, more big toes, and even more dustbins! Be on the lookout for future He/p! Mom! adventures in stores soon, and …” > > 6. from Back Matter: > “… fun. I am sure they’ll be pleased that around fifty percent of the proceeds of this book will go to taxes. About the Author: Katharine DeBrecht is the pen name for a mother of three. A freelance newspaper reporter who graduated …” > > 7. from Back Cover: > “… combines an ingenious story with hilarious illustrations to teach kids about the value of hard work and the threat that taxes pose to the American Dream.” -Grover Norquist, president, Americans for Tax Reform $15.95 USA / $24.95 CAN t1 ISBN 0-9767269-0-4 …" ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/74 "2005-09-22T13:08:58Z")
> [@Stephe96](#): > > Hmmm. I’d like to see more books in this series. How 'bout **Help! There’s A Liberal Driving The Car!** , featuring, of course, the Ted Kennedy character? That would be in the Gothic/Horror section 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/75 "2005-09-22T13:25:38Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > That’s a parody comic, right? Right? Please, please tell me it’s a parody? I don’t think it was intended as one, but yeah, I think it’s a pretty damn good parody. ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/76 "2005-09-22T13:26:43Z")
_ **If You Give A Lib A Welfare Check** _ ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/77 "2005-09-22T13:48:46Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > Am I the only one who is having a hard time taking this seriously? I haven’t read this book. From the title and the little bit of description it sounds pretty dumb. Instead of getting all outraged and throwing tantrums, why not just hold it up for all to see and ridicule the shit out of it publicly? make fun of it. Make fun of the author. Make fun of “the kind of people” who would buy it. Give it as much attention as possible, turn it into a huge laughing stock and be done with it. Well, that WAS kinda the point of the OP. Since we don’t have a separate “ridicule the shit out of this” forum, threads that take that approach go in this forum, for lack of a better choice. I’m not taking the book itself at all seriously. I think it’s a hoot that something that improbable even exists! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/78 "2005-09-22T13:50:44Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > I’m not taking the book itself at all seriously. I think it’s a hoot that something that improbable even exists! And if the author and publisher decided to donate the proceeds from the book to, say, Katrina relief, I’d buy copies for friends and family members as gag Christmas presents. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/79 "2005-09-22T14:02:31Z")
If \*\*Liberal \*\*were under \*my \*bed, it would certainly scare the shit out of me. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777/80 "2005-09-22T14:08:29Z")
> [@Uvula Donor](#): > > If \*\*Liberal \*\*were under \*my \*bed, it would certainly scare the shit out of me. :: splort :: Oh, well, I needed a new keyboard anyway. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-book-for-kids-help-mom-there-are-liberals-under-my-bed/322777.md?page=5)