# New Chick Tract: "Gladys" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 3, 2002, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740 "2002-10-03T21:55:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Aro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b3f665/32.png) [@Aro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aro)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/21 "2002-10-04T10:48:28Z")
I’ve not seem them. But I have to say I haven’t been looking very hard at all. Anyone seen them elsewhere? ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/22 "2002-10-04T10:54:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dewey Cheatem Undhow \* > \*\*Holly’s not a dungeon master, she’s a [genuine honest-to-goodness witch](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5012/5012_01.asp). \*\* Comes to the same thing, really, though, doesn’t it, in ChickWorld? (Incidentally, does anyone know how teaching you the Real Spells works under 3rd Edition? I mean, they’ve changed so many of the rules… I don’t want to be corrupting souls to the service of Satan if they don’t have enough experience points racked up.) ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/23 "2002-10-04T10:58:28Z")
(Yes, a Fundamentalist Baptist flatmate _did_ try to turn me off role-playing games with the _Dark Dungeons_ tract. So we dropped D&D, and played Call of Cthulhu instead.) ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/24 "2002-10-04T12:15:56Z")
Ah, the pure clear flame of righteousness that burns when thine enemies are incinerated in a car crash. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/25 "2002-10-04T12:17:21Z")
**Steve Wright** : Well, first you have to have the Corrupt Innocent Souls feat, and any non-lawful-good alignment. Then you have to take 3 levels of the Satan’s Minion prestige class and have your character organize a gaming group to play _Cubicles & Clerks_. Then, if the chosen victim, who must be a member of your in-character gaming group, fails a Will save against (Your Charisma + your Satan’s Minion level + 3 DC), that victim gets access to the sorcerer spell list at a casting level of half of your total character levels. _blink_ _blink_ And I don’t even play the damn game! ---
**Author:** ![lynn73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@lynn73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lynn73)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/26 "2002-10-04T12:36:51Z")
Thanks for the link to the new chick tract. I liked it. I’m getting low, will probably order it next time I send in an order. Don’t think you guys are getting the real message here. You prefer to make fun and analyze to death but the plain truth is that anyone not knowing Christ as Savior will go to the lake of fire. It’s in the Word, for those who happen to believe what God says about it. That’s all I have to say. **Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. Acts4:12** ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/27 "2002-10-04T12:40:41Z")
> [@](#): > > It’s in the Word, for those who happen to believe what God says about it. That’s all I have to say. So if we don’t believe it, we’re off the hook? Cool! I like Terry Pratchett’s take: > [@](#): > > The gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that’s where they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go. Which they won’t do if they don’t know about it. This explains why it is so important to shoot missionaries on sight. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/28 "2002-10-04T12:42:30Z")
> [@](#): > > It’s in the Word, for those who happen to believe what God says about it. Actually, the tracts are for those who don’t happen to believe what God says about it, as a means of trying to convert them by scare tactics. And Jack Chick is an intolerant bigot who knows nothing of the meaning of the word “Christian”. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/29 "2002-10-04T12:45:09Z")
Bob really needs to get to a good barber. That moustache is looking awfully crooked these days. That, I assume, wife of his looks like she’s permanently pissed. I agree with Chick on dumping Gladys into hell though. I mean, showing up uninvited and announcing she’s staying. That’s a go straight to hell offense if I ever heard one. How did she know Holly? Do all demon possessed people know each other? Will one of the demon possessed dopers (and you know who you are) explain it to the rest of us? ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/30 "2002-10-04T12:48:30Z")
> [@](#): > > **said by His4Ever:** > \*for those who happen to believe what God says about it. \* God? Who? And what’s this about a lake? Thankfully over in **catsix** -land, there is no lake and Jesus is nothing other than the nickname of the guy with the really good herb. Guess I have nothin` whatever to fear. Just as I suspected. And Jack T. Chick is still funny. The only difference now is… So are you. ---
**Author:** ![EchoKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@EchoKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EchoKitty)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/31 "2002-10-04T12:53:45Z")
Dear H4E: Bwahaaaaahaaaahhaaaaa! Realistically, EchoKitty ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/32 "2002-10-04T13:01:54Z")
Aunt Gladys calls Holly her “sponsor,” so maybe she’s the guest coordiantor for the Astrology Convention. You gotta love Chick for attempting to convert people from one brand of nonsense-- astrology–to another, equally spurious, variety of hokum. And **H4E** , when are you going to respond to the comments in the creationism thread? Hmmm, chicken? Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluCKAW cluck… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/33 "2002-10-04T13:07:35Z")
**gobear** has been possessed by a demonic chicken! There is one other thing about Gladys that bugs me. She looks kinda like my sixth grade teacher, who was indeed demon possessed! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ceejaytee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ceejaytee/32/2956_2.png) [@Ceejaytee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ceejaytee)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/34 "2002-10-04T13:13:01Z")
I have to agree with **swampbear** : Gladys definitely deserved the Lake of Fire for (1) showing up unannounced, (2) inviting herself to stay over instead of going to a hotel, and (3) demanding that she be fed. Each one deserves eternal damnation, but to do all three! It’s a miracle she didn’t get thrown into the flaming pit immediately. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/35 "2002-10-04T13:16:45Z")
unfortunately, my former church, Lakewood Foursquare, used to have a bunch of Chick tracts on display. One deacon, Myron, used to, and probably still does, tape Boo! tracts to the bus station in front of Lakewood library before halloween.☹ ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/36 "2002-10-04T13:48:13Z")
re: D&D – on [another message board](http://enworld.cyberstreet.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26548), there’s a discussion about a new D&D book coming out and the fundie’s reaction to it. The Book of Vile Darkness, it’s called, and it’s a guide to making villains, well, villainous. It’ll supposedly include such wholesome fun activities as cannibalism, human sacrifice, necrophilia, and torture. One fellow on this other thread is claiming that a school in Cary, NC has banned the D&D club because of the references in this as-yet-unpublished book to necrophilia. I’m having trouble pinning down the case. Any of you Dopers up to the challenge of finding a cite for this? Daniel ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/37 "2002-10-04T13:48:53Z")
I’ve had the honor to read the translated versions of some of the old pamphlets…in Spanish. :eek: Of course, I didn’t know what they were at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Wartime\_Consigliori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@Wartime\_Consigliori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wartime_Consigliori)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/38 "2002-10-04T13:48:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*Games of chance are strictly forbidden, or something. I dunno-I’ve heard that hardcore fundies consider playing cards sinful for some reason-probably because it’s like gambling or whatever. \*\* According to this link, some Christians find something redeeming about a “Deck of Cards”: [http://www.geocities.com/sadiemargie/deckofcards.html](http://www.geocities.com/sadiemargie/deckofcards.html) ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Maximino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e95f7d/32.png) [@Mighty\_Maximino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Maximino)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/39 "2002-10-04T14:17:35Z")
I think that Gladys deserved hell for her lack of mathematical reasoning. If I were trafficking with a diabolical agency, then I’d expect much more than 20% accuracy. If that’s all I was getting, then I’d be better off with a coin than a demon. Also, claiming 100% accuracy for Isaiah is a little premature. Last time I checked lions still ate meat, not straw, and cows and bears don’t feed together. (11:7) And if Chick were wrong about any of the things in his tracts, well, he’d be a _false prophet_, wouldn’t he? Dark Dungeons along puts him square in line to be stoned or hung or whatever punishment he’d mete out to others. ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/40 "2002-10-04T14:19:40Z")
My favorite image is the angel tossing Gladys and Holly off the cliff. ::dusting off hands:: “Done, and done!” I also enjoy the demon remembering the Isaiah prophecy with his finger to his mouth “Uh-ohhh.” But most of all, I appreciate the image of our loving Saviour gleefully pointing out the way down to hell. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740.md?page=3)