# New Chick Tract: "Gladys" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 3, 2002, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740 "2002-10-03T21:55:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/61 "2002-10-04T18:27:57Z")
Is the lake of fire anything like Loki on the moon Io? Because if so, that’s pretty cool. I wouldn’t mind seeing that. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/62 "2002-10-04T18:29:57Z")
I want a “George” ☹ ---
**Author:** ![NPavelka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/edb3f5/32.png) [@NPavelka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NPavelka)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/63 "2002-10-04T18:37:27Z")
Well I actuially have recived a Track before, a few weeks ago I was going to a Cardinals game (I think it was against the Cubbies) and a guy was handing out copies of “The Slugger”… I took it and as soon as it touched my hand I mustered the best deamon voice I could droped it and said “It Burns…” and then walked off with the guy staring at me. :eek: I have been getting more stuff from the Jews for Jesus people… they are a bit less fundi.;j ---
**Author:** ![Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/df788c/32.png) [@Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ben)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/64 "2002-10-04T19:19:53Z")
His4Ever, are you really, genuinely interested in trying to convert people? ---
**Author:** ![airdisc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e19adc/32.png) [@airdisc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/airdisc)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/65 "2002-10-04T20:45:47Z")
I’m still waiting for that Chick tract on Scientology. ---
**Author:** ![Bren\_Cameron\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@Bren\_Cameron\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bren_Cameron_1)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/66 "2002-10-04T23:51:46Z")
George is the perfect name for a demon. George was, if I recall correctly, the name of Satan in “Bedazzled.” Not the recent remake. I mean the one with Dudley Moore and Peter Cook. ---
**Author:** ![ouisey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9fc29f/32.png) [@ouisey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouisey)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/67 "2002-10-05T00:17:43Z")
Which was an absolutely brilliant film. I love the part where Peter Cook is sitting on the post box pretending to be God and Dudley Moore was dancing around worshipping him. ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/68 "2002-10-05T02:39:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by His4ever \* > **You prefer to make fun and analyze to death but the plain truth is that anyone not knowing Christ as Savior will go to the lake of fire.** Ah, yes. Feel the love. Feel the fundamentalist _Christian_ love. For in their world, Jesus will throw you into a molten Lake of Fire[sup]TM[/sup] if you don’t utterly submit yourself to him. Based on what I’ve seen from Jack Chick and the little sociopaths like **H4E** , the following list appears to be the summation of the fate of those who don’t believe in exactly their brand of thought: [ul] _[li]Are you Muslim? Into the fire you go![/li][li]Jewish? Happy roasting.[/li][li]Buddhist? Nice knowing ya.[/li][li]Atheist? God’s got a marinade just for you.[/li][li]Agnostic? Like most fundamentalists, God really can’t tell the difference, but at least he knows enough to use a slightly different sauce for basting just before you’re thrown into the Pit.[/li][li]Catholic? Never mind that you were the only Christian church for well nigh over a thousand years, you’re still hellbound.[/li][li]Member of a liberal Protestant denomination? Close but no cigar.[/li][li]All those millions of people who lived and died in places where Christianity never had a presence? (i.e., the Native Americans of North, Central, and South America prior to the arrival of missionaries) Poor saps. They’ll make nice kindling.[/li]_[/ul] If God created us solely for the purpose of his/her/its own self-gratification–_“I made you to worship me, and if you don’t do this during your brief mortal existence on Earth, then your soul is absolutely fucked for all eternity”_–then what does this really say about the quality of this Deity? Is this a Deity that is really worth worshipping? What a nasty, loathsome, mean-spirited theology. Nuts to you, **H4E**. It’s your philosophy and like-minded ilk that drove me away from Christianity in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/69 "2002-10-05T04:14:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KarlGrenze \* > \*\*I’ve had the honor to read the translated versions of some of the old pamphlets…in Spanish. :eek: > > Of course, I didn’t know what they were at the time. \*\* I live in a primarily Latino area surrounded by fundie churches, and have an abundance Spanish language Chick tracts. Want to relive some old memories? :eek: (Yeah, I read them too. Same Chick garbage, no matter what language it’s in.) ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/70 "2002-10-05T06:03:09Z")
Won’t somebody think of the truck driver? That poor poor truck driver. Damn the Union that made him drive that day! To think, he had just gotten back from missionary work in Africa, and now this… ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/71 "2002-10-05T06:17:05Z")
First of all, this thread needs to go in threadspotting for **kingpengvin** ’s tract idea, **H4E** ’s blithering idiocy, and **NPavelka** ’s “it burns” comment. Second of all, and it may just be me, but… Gladys looks like a drag queen! :eek: Carry on. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/72 "2002-10-05T07:07:40Z")
\*\*Gobear wrote: So if we don’t believe it, we’re off the hook? Cool!\*\* Pssst!! **Gobear**!! I know the back way into Valhalla! Man, they have the **BEST** mead ever! C’mon! ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/73 "2002-10-05T07:54:35Z")
> [@](#): > > This must be illustrated and added to Teemings. Well, I’ve already got a graphic novel and numerous other works of artistry lined up, along with school and a show, but… I’ll see what I can do! ---
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/74 "2002-10-05T09:06:34Z")
Nuts to you all. The only important question here is: which side of heaven is hell on this week? I mean, that’s the coolest part: sometimes hell is off to the left from the Lord’s throne, and a little down, and sometimes off to the right, and a little down. Some have speculated that in Chick’s theology, hell actually orbits heaven, but more research is needed. That’s why these new tracts are crucial! ---
**Author:** ![Lionors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c37758/32.png) [@Lionors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionors)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/75 "2002-10-05T11:14:51Z")
> [@](#): > > And now I find myself on the horns of a theological dilemma… given a choice between the lake of fire, or eternity in the company of Jack Chick and His4Ever, which do I go for? One of my favorite quotes seems rather applicable here: “The principal difference between heaven and hell is the company you keep there.” [Oh, and Steve, I don’t think you’ll go to hell for the poly/cotton blends. Sans-a-Belt slacks, though, are a different story.] ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/76 "2002-10-05T13:06:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vanilla \* > \*\*Is there any subject Chick hasn’t covered yet? \*\* Like most fundies, when he covers the story of Lot as an anti-homosexual rant (The Gay Blade), he leaves out the bit about Lot offering up his virgin daughters instead of the angels. Righteous man, my skinny arse. ---
**Author:** ![gex\_gex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@gex\_gex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gex_gex)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/77 "2002-10-05T14:29:11Z")
Guin, > [@](#): > > No, actually there is a way to do a “fortune” type thing with regular playing cards. > > It’s probably about as bullshit as Tarot cards-though not nearly as pretty. What is the difference between Tarot cards and catholicism? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/78 "2002-10-05T14:34:38Z")
**gex gex** -what do you mean? ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/79 "2002-10-05T14:47:21Z")
Well for starters, Tarot are not a religion… ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740/80 "2002-10-05T16:06:36Z")
In Catholocism you got those really cool looking saint cards which are kind of like tarot cards. Both are used to bilk money out of people but in Catholocism you get to keep the cards and they use some of the money for charity. Haj [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-gladys/130740.md?page=5)