# New Chick tract hardly worth pitting... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 3, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893 "2005-01-03T21:21:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893/1 "2005-01-03T21:21:25Z")
But they all end up here, anyway, and I enjoy reading the riffs made by our heathen dopers, so I may as well post a link: [http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1020/1020\_01.asp](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1020/1020_01.asp) It’s pretty weak, with God helping a little girl escape a white slaver by telling her to, you know, YELL, which the other abducted children presumably didn’t think to do in their Godlessness (thereby, one wonders with a shock, deserving their fate?). The best element is probably the quick fix the fundy cop does on serious spousal abuse. He just spouts a little dogma, and the battered couple are all cuddles. Yawn. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893/2 "2005-01-03T21:28:32Z")
Is it just me, or does the Jesus on the cross picture look more like a mummy? And if you look at his abs, it looks like someone carved a totem pole! ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893/3 "2005-01-03T21:41:56Z")
You’re right, it is pretty pathetic. I think old Jack is losing it. Haven’t seem too many of the good old fire and brimstone cartoons lately. And I really miss Jeebuz on the throne in 'pull-my-finger" mode. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893/4 "2005-01-03T21:44:06Z")
Not this one in particular, but these things in general are deeply worth pitting. Only trouble is, it’s so _warped_ I personally would not ever know where or how to begin the pit. ---
**Author:** ![stegon66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@stegon66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stegon66)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893/5 "2005-01-03T21:52:30Z")
_Cops_ - Chick-style! ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893/6 "2005-01-03T22:20:56Z")
Did anyone notice that in panel two, the head detective looks eerily like O.J. Simpson? ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893/7 "2005-01-03T22:41:21Z")
Could a biblical scholar shed some light on Exodus 21:16, which Chick uses to condemn slavery? And he that stealeth a man, and selleth him, or if he be found in his hand, he shall surely be put to death. The language, at least in the KJV, seems to me like an implicit endorsement of slavery: stealing someone who is property (e.g., a slave) is punishable by death. Other translations say “kidnap,” though, which changes the meaning. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893/8 "2005-01-04T00:10:08Z")
It’s about kidnapping dudes to sell into slavery. This tract looks like Chick had a couple of different ideas that weren’t going anywhere so he decided to stick them together into one story that doesn’t go anywhere. Aside from the truly vile implied slander against Muslims, there isn’t a single genuinely psychotic or offensive idea. This is one of Jack’s weakest efforts ever. There isn’t even a shot at the RCC. I hope he’s feeling alright. I hope he hasn’t abandoned the Little Suzy series. It takes a special kind of artist to make an audience want to strangle a cute little girl. ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Random](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Joe\_Random](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Random)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893/9 "2005-01-04T00:35:46Z")
> [@cricetus](#): > > It’s pretty weak No kidding. That’s one of the lamest Chick Tracts that I’ve ever seen. Still, there are a _few_ good lines. Such as: > [@Jack Chick](#): > > [Jesus] can fix it so that every lie and sin you’ve committed can be removed from the record. Sounds kind of shady, like Jesus is getting into the books behind God’s back and making a few alterations. In fact, that line smacks of a “Get in good with the boss’s son, and then the rules won’t apply to you” mentality. However, my absolute favorite line from this one is: > [@Jack Chick](#): > > We replaced [God] with our television set. What a ripoff. Why, any reputable dealer will give you enough of a trade-in on a slightly used deity that you could get something _really_ nice. You know, like a new TV _plus_ a set of Ginsu Knives. ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893/10 "2005-01-04T01:23:32Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > Aside from the truly vile implied slander against Muslims, there isn’t a single genuinely psychotic or offensive idea. I dunno–his choice of a female agressor in a domestic violence situation is at the least… interesting. I mean, it happens, but my extensive knowledge of domestic violence statistics, largely acquired from watching COPS, tells me it’s far less common then the other way around. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893/11 "2005-01-04T01:43:55Z")
> [@Joe Random](#): > > However, my absolute favorite line from this one is: > > > [@Jack Chick](#): > > > > We replaced [God] with our television set. **Voice-over:** We’ve replaced this happy couple’s God with a Sony-brand television set! Let’s see what happens. **Husband:** Hey wifey, get your a$$ out here pronto! You made me that crappy instant decaf coffee again, dincha? **Wife:** I’ve had enough out of you! _chases husband around with an iron, frying pan, and a high-heeled shoe_ ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893/12 "2005-01-04T01:55:55Z")
I don’t understand why a) Holly was the one to get kidnapped when Donna was the one drawn like a miniature adult and b) why they didn’t leave the house together. Overall: Lame. (And yes, the cop does look like OJ.) ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893/13 "2005-01-04T02:25:35Z")
We’ve got an **Awesome God**!!! ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893/14 "2005-01-04T02:42:22Z")
Lawd, it’s pathetic! Brother Jack just ain’t got the ol’ pizzazz no more. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893/15 "2005-01-04T02:44:03Z")
_ **Gotcha!** _ There’s no kittens… I _ **lied!** _ ---
**Author:** ![Man\_from\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Man\_from\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_from_Mars)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893/16 "2005-01-04T04:09:06Z")
> [@Darwin's Finch](#): > > _ **Gotcha!** _ There’s no kittens… I _ **lied!** _ O.J. may not have caught the “real killers” but at least he caught that sleazy old man who broke the 9th Commandment. Hopefully he’ll find the Lord in prison and never lie again. But, I’m probably more hopeful that I never hear a cop, after apprehending a suspect, say “We have an awesome God.” ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893/17 "2005-01-04T04:16:45Z")
> [@stegon66](#): > > _Cops_ - Chick-style! Heathens, heathens Whatcha gonna do Whatcha gonna do when Satan comes for you Heathens, heathens Whatcha gonna do Whatcha gonna do when Satan comes for you You’re a sinner and you’re going to he-ellll Gonna roast and that’s your loss Unless you embrace Jesus Christ as your saviour Cause the Romans nailed him to a cross Heathens, heathens Whatcha gonna do Whatcha gonna do when Satan comes for you ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893/18 "2005-01-04T04:54:20Z")
> [@Tony](#): > > But, I’m probably more hopeful that I never hear a cop, after apprehending a suspect, say “We have an awesome God.” I can imagine Officer Jeff Spicoli saying it. Like, “an awesome God, dude. Totally bodacious!” Tripler “But if this is your cell, and this is my cell, doesn’t that make it _our_ cell?” ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893/19 "2005-01-04T05:00:05Z")
Hehe. Nice one, **RickJay**! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893/20 "2005-01-04T05:03:09Z")
Yeah, that Jesus is one bad moth- Watch yo mouth! I’m talkin’ 'bout Jesus! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-hardly-worth-pitting/282893.md?page=2)