# New Chick Tract- "Heart Trouble" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 11, 2007, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515 "2007-01-11T05:21:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515/21 "2007-01-11T19:26:25Z")
[QUOTE=Viridiana] Whatever Adam and Eve are eating, it looks like pine cones. [/QUOTE] Must be pine apples! d&r šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515/22 "2007-01-11T19:56:48Z")
[QUOTE=Plynck] But Adam and Eve ate an apple, and thatā€™s supposed to be _good_ for your heart. [/QUOTE] Itā€™s supposed to keep doctors _away_, too. ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515/23 "2007-01-11T19:59:19Z")
My favortie part was when John (a really stupid fuck if Iā€™ve ever seen one) says, ā€œJesus? Isnā€™t that a swear word?ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515/24 "2007-01-11T20:20:00Z")
[QUOTE=SpazCat] I love the "grrr"ing heart! I want one as a pet! [/QUOTE] I want one as a plushie. The perfect thing to snuggle with! ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515/25 "2007-01-11T20:57:17Z")
[QUOTE=BluePitbull] The Doctor has no bedside manners. I would have walk out of there as soon as he start preaching. Highly unrealistic. [/QUOTE] Depends on your insurance. I stuck with a doctor who told me to go on a vegan diet and read the Bible for 15 minutes every day because I couldnā€™t find another doc on my insurance plan. The Reverend Doctor was willing to write my prescriptions, and as soon as we were eligible for another insurance plan and another doctor, I found a new doctor. She preached to me too, but it was only about losing weight and exercising and keeping my blood sugar under control, and I expected that. ---
**Author:** ![Bobotheoptimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@Bobotheoptimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bobotheoptimist)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515/26 "2007-01-11T21:36:22Z")
I sure hope the Heart-Monster doesnā€™t fight with my [Spine-Lizard](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1036/1036_01.asp?wpc=1036_01.asp&wpp=b) (Now with ā€œGrr-ing Larryā€) Iā€™d buy a stuffed Heart Monster that GRRā€™d when you squeezed it. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515/27 "2007-01-11T21:47:20Z")
There isnā€™t a whole lot to make fun of in this rather bland tract, but I did find it amusing that the guy doesnā€™t know the meaning of ā€œfornicationā€, STD, or ā€œblasphemyā€. I guess the target audience for these tracts isnā€™t too bright. Also, I want a ā€œFangā€ T-shirt. [QUOTE=Hamlet] Is it just me or does the woman that the patient wants to have an affair with look like Joe Camel? [/QUOTE] Now that you _mention_ it . . . ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515/28 "2007-01-11T21:59:26Z")
[QUOTE=Jess] My favortie part was when John (a really stupid fuck if Iā€™ve ever seen one) says, ā€œJesus? Isnā€™t that a swear word?ā€ [/QUOTE] Hee! Or ā€œBlasphemy? Is that a medical term?ā€ ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515/29 "2007-01-12T00:50:19Z")
Boy, theyā€™re really giving it to the medical profession this time around, eh? But I have to **admit** that I still _ **enjoy** _ the way they randomly accent **random** words in the **text**. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515/30 "2007-01-12T06:12:54Z")
[QUOTE=El\_Kabong] Do you feel that most or all of what Chick writes is an accurate and meaningful expression of Christian principles? If these are not such, it seems rather Pitworthy to me. [/QUOTE] No, but this particular tract is pretty small potatoes. It lacks in depth and meaning, but actually it is a pretty accurate expression of the Christian principles that we all have an internal nature in rebellion against God and in need of redemption by Christ. Iā€™m all for Pitting Chickā€™s more outrageous displays of damn foolishness, but the material of this tract is more GD-worthy. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515/31 "2007-01-12T06:39:42Z")
Brilliant. Now, whoā€™s going to print this out and mail it to Jimmy Carter? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2007, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515/32 "2007-01-12T10:52:52Z")
> [@](#): > > No, but this particular tract is pretty small potatoes. It lacks in depth and meaning, but actually it is a pretty accurate expression of the Christian principles > that we all have an internal nature in rebellion against God and in need of > redemption by Christ. > > Iā€™m all for Pitting Chickā€™s more outrageous displays of damn foolishness, but the material of this tract is more GD-worthy. Thereā€™s such a thing as context and professionalism. A medical doctor has no business stopping in the middle of an examination with a patient and suddenly trying to convert his religion. The poor guy keeps trying to ask questions about his medical condition and the doctor keeps ignoring him and talking about Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2007, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515/33 "2007-01-13T06:51:03Z")
[QUOTE=FriarTed] Chick is getting really mellow. THIS tract is in the Pit? Or if it automatically Pit-worthy when Jack writes anything? [/QUOTE] Good grief. \ ***Why** \* is it pitworthy? Do you pit Springer episodes? No! Because they are morons. Itā€™s like pitting dog poop for smelling bad and looking nasty. Tracts are about a negative 983 on the IQ scale. They do NOT represent what other than fundie psycho (so called) christians actually think. And no one with half a brain thinks that they have any chance of ā€œconvertingā€ an actual human being. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2007, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515/34 "2007-01-13T09:11:03Z")
I defy anyone to show me a statement anywhere in the Bible that says Adam or Eve ate (even part of) an apple. (The Hebrew word for ā€œapple,ā€ _taffuakh,_ appears nowhere in the Book of Genesis.) Though the fruit tasted good to them, it couldnā€™t have been an apple. Allegories aside, apples fit to eat require a chillier environment than we suppose Eden to have provided. I am from Indiana, where apples are grown and where the temperature gets mighty cold at times! ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2007, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515/35 "2007-01-13T14:41:06Z")
[QUOTE=Jess] My favortie part was when John (a really stupid fuck if Iā€™ve ever seen one) says, ā€œJesus? Isnā€™t that a swear word?ā€ [/QUOTE] Yeah, Chick has played the NobodyKnowsWhoJesusIsAnymore tune more than one time in the recent past, but the only one I recall right now is the one about two kidlets (who happened to swear a lot) and Bob. I was going to start a thread about JTCā€™s latest train wreck mostly about just this element. As I say, he has repeated this theme in the last few years. But the hyperbolic extreme he is taking it to this time, without the slightest lack of seriousness, is mind-blowing, IMHO. Now we have somebody who is fairly ā€œoldā€ as he is both balding and concerned about heart health. (Yes, I know that both could descibe someone about 21, to take it to the extreme, but the sense here is that he is at least in early ā€œmiddle age.ā€) Chick seems to be implying that since God was ā€œkicked outā€ of the public school classrooms in the early sixties TONS and TONS of people have never heard the gospel, or even who Jesus was/was supposed to be. And by now some of them are even late-fortyish. This sound like utter crap to me. Iā€™d like the fellow who was doing the ā€œGood Person?ā€ interviews to do a survey as to how many people in the street have never even heard that Jesus was supposed to be God, or have never heard that dying on the cross was supposed to be a sacrifice for the world. It just sounds to me as though JTC is so tremendously bitter about public schools in America no longer being indoctrination centers that it clouds his already cloudy thinking. * * * True Blue Jack ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2007, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515/36 "2007-01-13T14:45:15Z")
[QUOTE=FriarTed] Chick is getting really mellow. THIS tract is in the Pit? Or if it automatically Pit-worthy when Jack writes anything? [/QUOTE] Itā€™s automatically Pit-worthy every time Jack takes a breath. ---
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2007, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515/37 "2007-01-13T18:47:07Z")
[QUOTE=dougie\_monty] I defy anyone to show me a statement anywhere in the Bible that says Adam or Eve ate (even part of) an apple. (The Hebrew word for ā€œapple,ā€ _taffuakh,_ appears nowhere in the Book of Genesis.) [/QUOTE] Heh. Iā€™m aware of that. Itā€™s always fun to joke about, though. FWIW, Iā€™ve heard it theorized that the fruit sould really be either the fig (ala the leaves mentioned later) or perhaps the pomegranate. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2007, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515/38 "2007-01-13T20:30:10Z")
[QUOTE=FriarTed] No, but this particular tract is pretty small potatoes. It lacks in depth and meaning, but actually it is a pretty accurate expression of the Christian principles that we all have an internal nature in rebellion against God and in need of redemption by Christ. [/quote] Well, if I asked the doctor if my serious health problem would kill me and he said (snicker) ā€œwell, everybody diesā€, my principles would argue strongly for dealing him a swift kick in the coccyx. > [@Lynn Bodoni](#): > > I stuck with a doctor who told me to go on a vegan diet and read the Bible for 15 minutes every day because I couldnā€™t find another doc on my insurance plan. The Reverend Doctor was willing to write my prescriptions This is one of the most important attributes to look for in your doctor. Never underestimate the value of what William S. Burroughs called ā€œa croaker who writes scripā€ (prescriptions). ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2007, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515/39 "2007-01-13T21:54:29Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] Plus, a new ā€œblack tract,ā€ [Fame](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1106/1106_01.asp?wpc=1106_01.asp&wpp=a), an African-American version of the recent [The Star](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1028/1028_01.asp). [/QUOTE] This is the BEST ONE EVAR. One sceneā€¦ judgement day in heavenā€¦ the saved righteous souls are standing around taunting the sinnerā€¦ ā€œBoo! You dirty old man!ā€ ā€œWe **hate** what youā€™ve done. Shame on you!ā€ ā€œGodā€™s gonna **get** you for that!ā€ (bolding Chickā€™s) Oh yes, children, the streets are paved with gold, AND thereā€™s vengeful taunting of sinful black celebrities. Come gather 'round. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2007, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515/40 "2007-01-13T22:54:23Z")
[QUOTE=Clothahump] Itā€™s automatically Pit-worthy every time Jack takes a breath. [/QUOTE] Hmmm. In my book, Jack Chick is a much more formidable opponent of christianity than he is any kind of evangelist. Tracts show zero psychological knowledge of human beings. I hadnā€™t seen one of these things (to read that is, of course I occasionally get one left on the windshield etc) since I was in HS. As a non psycho-fundie christian, having read this one, it appears to be the ultimate perfect creation to turn people OFF, not on, to christianity. If this is the way they all are, then I believe that Jack Chick is really an athiest (or is it agnostic?), rather than a christian. Because really, they seem more designed to make sure that people donā€™t want to have anything to do with God. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-heart-trouble/387515.md?page=3)