# New Chick Tract: "Here, Kitty, Kitty" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 5, 2006, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473 "2006-09-05T03:41:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473/41 "2006-09-05T17:47:56Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] …yes, he was definitely pushed. [/QUOTE] [obligatory Star Wars reference] Jesus pushed first!!! [/oswr] ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473/42 "2006-09-05T17:48:31Z")
> [@](#): > > Reading through his tracts, I get the impression that Chick thinks black magic is real and powerful, though not as powerful as Christ of course. It probably could afflict Muslims, Mormons, Hindus, and the like. So theoretically, I could get my own copy of “Majik Spells” and take over three quarters of the world as the Dark Warlock King. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473/43 "2006-09-05T23:29:47Z")
[QUOTE=DocCathode] Lucy says her cat is saved too! But, and reader of the King James (the only REAL Bible) knows, animals have no souls and cannot be saved. By stating that a cat can be saved, Chick seeks to alter the Laws Of Nature’s God! Blasphemy!!! [/QUOTE] No, what Lucy…um, Betsy means is that they were both saved in a different sense. Fluffy was saved in the physical sense since he didn’t die in whatever weird spell Charlie Brown was going to do, and Lucy/Betsy was saved in the spiritual sense since she accepted Jesus into her heart. And I still think Jesus jumped off the cloud on his own accord. And I just noticed that Daddy is waving goodbye back- although his hand gesture could be interpreted as a weak push. “Hey, son, look, what’s that down there? It looks like a soul in trouble- oops! Sorry! Bye, son! See you in 33 years!” ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473/44 "2006-09-05T23:37:16Z")
[QUOTE=Apos] Don’t do witchcraft: DO YOUR HOMEWORK! [/QUOTE] The More You Know\* }}}{{{ NBC ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473/45 "2006-09-05T23:43:38Z")
This is what happens when you bury America’s most beloved cartoonist in the Pet Semetary. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473/46 "2006-09-05T23:55:31Z")
[QUOTE=Apos] Don’t do witchcraft: DO YOUR HOMEWORK! [/QUOTE] But what if you’re a student at Hogwarts? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2006, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473/47 "2006-09-06T01:05:50Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] This is what happens when you bury America’s most beloved cartoonist in the Pet Semetary. [/QUOTE] He didn’t wanna be buried/In a Pet Semetary/He didn’t want to live his life again. ---
**Author:** ![parrot\_recipes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@parrot\_recipes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/parrot_recipes)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2006, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473/48 "2006-09-06T01:26:23Z")
[QUOTE=DocCathode] Lucy says her cat is saved too! But, and reader of the King James (the only REAL Bible) knows, animals have no souls and cannot be saved. By stating that a cat can be saved, Chick seeks to alter the Laws Of Nature’s God! Blasphemy!!! [/QUOTE] No way; the Van Impe’s say pets will go to heaven, even in the rapture! ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2006, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473/49 "2006-09-06T01:48:48Z")
[QUOTE=JohnT] Is this Bizarro-Peanuts, or is it evolution? [/QUOTE] Actually, except for the lack of melon-headedness, it reminds me more of Family Circus, with the background void and all. [QUOTE=LonesomePolecat] Anybody else get the feeling these were rush jobs? [/QUOTE] Little Billy drew them. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2006, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473/50 "2006-09-06T02:00:52Z")
I didn’t know that having stink lines was a sin. Thank you, Mr. Chick, for showing me that a shower will get me into heaven! ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2006, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473/51 "2006-09-06T02:47:25Z")
[QUOTE=Antigen] I didn’t know that having stink lines was a sin. Thank you, Mr. Chick, for showing me that a shower will get me into heaven! [/QUOTE] “God won’t let me in…just as I am?” “ **NO** , you’ve got to get clean first.” “With soap and water?” “No, Betsy. He has a much _ **better** _ way!” So, apparently, you have to take a shower with Jesus. (Actually, Chick has depicted sinners as having stink lines before, and it kind of makes sense, as sinners and the like are often referred to as “the unwashed.”) Brought to you by Jesus®! He cleans sin- so you don’t have to. [sub]God and Son, a family company[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2006, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473/52 "2006-09-06T02:48:33Z")
[QUOTE=FriarTed] As for the teacher crossing the line, I think the spell-casting kid who was going to kill his sister’s kitty might not be too concerned with telling Mom how Mean C’tian Teacher was pushing Jesus on him. [/QUOTE] That won’t do any good. This is the Chickverse, where nobody’s ever even _heard_ of Jesus, except for the occasional John Waters look-alike. The kid’s mom would probably ask, “Who’s he? Another teacher?” Then a chunk of Skylab would land on both of them and they’d wind up in Hell. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2006, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473/53 "2006-09-06T02:57:38Z")
[QUOTE=Eve] IAnd anyone notice little Fluffy (who’s not very fluffy, by the way) looks like Al Jolson in blackface in his little cage? I expect him down on one paw singing “Mammy!” [/QUOTE] Say rather Don Marquis’s [Mehitabel,](http://www.krazy.com/archy.htm) as drawn by George Herriman. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2006, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473/54 "2006-09-06T04:12:31Z")
[QUOTE=parrot recipes] No way; the Van Impe’s say pets will go to heaven, even in the rapture! [/QUOTE] I caught that in the end of the ad for their latest video. I was a Van Impe fan when I was a teen Rapturist in the late 70s, and if I’d heard him say that back then, I’d have definitely had the same reaction as I did when I heard it a few months ago- “…WHAT?!?” ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2006, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473/55 "2006-09-06T04:13:57Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] How would you know about the condition of Nixon’s testicles in his old age? Are you close to [Monica Crowley](http://www4.colgate.edu/scene/nov1996/crowley.html)? [/QUOTE] President Nixon should have been so lucky! She is one smokin’ RepubliBabe! ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2006, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473/56 "2006-09-06T08:31:57Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] How would you know about the condition of Nixon’s testicles in his old age? Are you close to [Monica Crowley](http://www4.colgate.edu/scene/nov1996/crowley.html)? [/QUOTE] He described them in an interview with Adrian Cronauer one time. I poked through Chick’s website looking for an email addy I could send a nasty letter, and this one is the best I could come up with: [productinfo@chick.com](mailto:productinfo@chick.com) I’m going to bitch at them about Chick getting soft and how his latest tract showed _nothing_ of the fires of Hell and seemed to indicate that Halloween is okay (which as any Chick devotee knows is clearly untrue), I’ll just go off on this long screed (after loading myself up with lots and lots of alcohol, first, of course) about how I now doubt Chick’s claims to being a man of God and the like. Maybe that’ll bring the old Chickee back. Certainly any reply I get will be _interesting_. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2006, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473/57 "2006-09-06T16:58:42Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] Maybe that’ll bring the old Chickee back. Certainly any reply I get will be _interesting_. [/QUOTE] Please post. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2006, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473/58 "2006-09-06T17:38:08Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] … shower with Jesus… [/QUOTE] That’s either a band name or a new fetish. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2006, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473/59 "2006-09-06T18:15:23Z")
[QUOTE=JohnT] That’s either a band name or a new fetish. 😉 [/QUOTE] … or some Mexican guy trying to get laid … ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2006, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473/60 "2006-09-06T18:41:19Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] The More You Know\* }}}{{{ NBC [/QUOTE] If no one else wil say so, I loved this reply. _applause_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-here-kitty-kitty/371473.md?page=4)