# New Chick Tract... The Worst One Ever **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 15, 2005, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803 "2005-12-15T20:46:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803/21 "2005-12-15T22:19:18Z")
> [@Binarydrone](#): > > [This one?](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1052/1052_01.asp) Okay, wait a tick… ‘God doesn’t want _ **anyone** _ to go to Hell.’ God is omniscient, right? So he know in advance who will be sent to hell and who won’t. He knows this for everyone who ever lived, and everyone who ever _will_ live. Since he knows who will go to Hell, he can A) prevent them from being born, thus preventing _ **anyone** _ from going to Hell; or B) intervene to keep them from going to Hell. But he doesn’t. Some would say that people have ‘free will’, and they have an opportunity to change. Some say that God is ‘testing’ people. But if one already knows – absolutely – the outcome of an experiment, isn’t the experiment pointless? Or worse, cruel? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803/22 "2005-12-15T22:24:36Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > Okay, wait a tick… > > ‘God doesn’t want _ **anyone** _ to go to Hell.’ > > God is omniscient, right? So he know in advance who will be sent to hell and who won’t. He knows this for everyone who ever lived, and everyone who ever _will_ live. Since he knows who will go to Hell, he can A) prevent them from being born, thus preventing _ **anyone** _ from going to Hell; or B) intervene to keep them from going to Hell. But he doesn’t. > > Some would say that people have ‘free will’, and they have an opportunity to change. Some say that God is ‘testing’ people. But if one already knows – absolutely – the outcome of an experiment, isn’t the experiment pointless? Or worse, cruel? > > 😕 Logic makes the baby Jesus cry. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803/23 "2005-12-15T22:25:09Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > Okay, wait a tick… > > ‘God doesn’t want _ **anyone** _ to go to Hell.’ > > God is omniscient, right? So he know in advance who will be sent to hell and who won’t. He knows this for everyone who ever lived, and everyone who ever _will_ live. Since he knows who will go to Hell, he can A) prevent them from being born, thus preventing _ **anyone** _ from going to Hell; or B) intervene to keep them from going to Hell. But he doesn’t. More to the point: Why did he even MAKE a hell? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803/24 "2005-12-15T22:26:43Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > More to the point: Why did he even MAKE a hell? Perhaps it intertains Him. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803/25 "2005-12-15T22:52:17Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Someone needs to show him Everquest or World of Warcraft. I’m sure he could find all kinds of evil there, and it’s be a _scream_ to see him imitate the lingo. -Okay, we got a room full of Jews and Romans and- -Let’s do this! Jesuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus Chriiiiiiissssssst! -n00b. Later: -ZOMG1! he rezed himself!! -w00t. Join my guild and receive teh l33t hax. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803/26 "2005-12-15T22:52:51Z")
Two comments about the crucifixion panel–first, that’s a really buff Jesus, and second, I continue to be intrigued at how Chick emphasizes the scourging since _Passion of the Christ_. Plot flaws: Mailmen don’t knock on your door to deliver your mail, anywhere. In a small town where everyone knows everyone else, a mailman _might_ inquire if he sees the mail accumulating in the mailbox over a period of time. But this guy was only out of commission for _two days_! Why did the family have to _return_ the diamond? They could have just thrown it out so as not to hurt the old man’s feelings. Perhaps accepting the diamond carried with it a moral obligation to pay the doctor as the old man requested, but that’s a stretch. Wouldn’t he be on Medicare anyway? Property doesn’t escheat to the state just because you die intestate. I believe the property has to be unclaimed for a period of time. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803/27 "2005-12-15T22:59:29Z")
> [@Freddy the Pig](#): > > Property doesn’t escheat to the state just because you die intestate. I believe the property has to be unclaimed for a period of time. Six months is a period of time… ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803/28 "2005-12-15T23:05:09Z")
> [@Freddy the Pig](#): > > Plot flaws: Mailmen don’t knock on your door to deliver your mail, anywhere. In a small town where everyone knows everyone else, a mailman _might_ inquire if he sees the mail accumulating in the mailbox over a period of time. But this guy was only out of commission for _two days_! Actually, at one point in time, there was a program where the mail carrier _would_ check on the elderly if they hadn’t picked up their mail. There used to be a PSA about it that started similar to the current tract, so that’s probably where Chick (or whomever’s taken over the job of writing the tracts these days) got the idea. ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803/29 "2005-12-15T23:06:58Z")
As a Papist, I feel ripped off and ignored. And the evil mother could at least have chortled “HAW! HAW! HAW!” as she threw the old man’s gift in his cancerous broken-legged face. The “knees” line IS a new classic, though. ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803/30 "2005-12-15T23:08:55Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > I hear God is converting the stories of our lives to DVD. I think I’m safe. Most of my sinning was in the late 60s/early 70s and no one has an 8 track to play them back. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803/31 "2005-12-15T23:10:45Z")
Yes, the moral here is that if you blow a shot at $4 million bucks, you could become desperate enough to listen to a total stranger who tells you to get on your knees to accept “God’s love gift”. I still think it was a good idea not to answer the front door earlier this week when the Jehovah’s Witnesses were pounding on it. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803/32 "2005-12-15T23:12:37Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > I’ll be honest, I didn’t read the whole thing. When the lawyer started going into his schtick, I stopped. I had the same problem. Start preaching and my eyes immediaty start to glaze over. That’s probably why I don’t go to church anymore. I don’t mind having discussions about relgions and Jesus, on the contrary, I enjoy it. But start off with “Have you accepted Jesus?” and I’m immediatly trying to find the nearest exit. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803/33 "2005-12-15T23:28:19Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > I still think it was a good idea not to answer the front door earlier this week when the Jehovah’s Witnesses were pounding on it. I can’t find it but there was a Something Positive comic where the main character, Daven, answers the front door, only to find a Witness there. He starts proletzing, only to notice Daven is masterbating. Witness: Would you mind not doing that? Daven: Hey, you interrupted me. I’m not altering my schedule for you. It’s funnier in the comic. And if you can take it, it would probably keep the witnesses away. ---
**Author:** ![Ol\_Gaffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803/34 "2005-12-15T23:30:07Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Yes, the moral here is that if you blow a shot at $4 million bucks, you could become desperate enough to listen to a total stranger who tells you to get on your knees to accept “God’s love gift”. Hmmm…“God’s love gift”…is that what the kids are calling it these days? “C’mon baby, get on your knees and accept God’s love gift!” ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803/35 "2005-12-15T23:33:46Z")
> [@Binarydrone](#): > > [This one?](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1052/1052_01.asp) Haw. I saw the Spanish language version of that one (“Aves y Abejas”) tacked up on the bulletin board at my local laundromat yesterday. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803/36 "2005-12-16T00:11:08Z")
> [@Ol'Gaffer](#): > > Hmmm…“God’s love gift”…is that what the kids are calling it these days? > > “C’mon baby, get on your knees and accept God’s love gift!” [Cartman] I wanna get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus. Feel his love rain down on my face. [/Cartman] ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803/37 "2005-12-16T00:55:18Z")
> [@Binarydrone](#): > > [This one?](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1052/1052_01.asp) That would be the one. I’m jealous of those guys. See, I’m gay and I don’t have a demon to perch on my shoulder. I want me a pet demon too! I was reading some stuff on Chickie boy’s site and it appears he has hired an illustrator lately. Maybe he’s letting other people write these days too. Something sure ain’t up to the ol’ Chickie standards. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803/38 "2005-12-16T00:55:18Z")
Correct me if I’m wrong, but would the diamond be worth that much? I thought the whole reason why diamonds are so expensive is because of the DeBeers monopoly. Yeah, the old guy should have been on Medicare, although maybe he couldn’t pay all of his bills. And maybe the mailman and he were friends, and he was used to greeting him, or something? So basically, in Chick’s Christianity, greed is okay-the woman didn’t really change, she just became Christian because she was a greedy bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803/39 "2005-12-16T01:06:20Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Correct me if I’m wrong, but would the diamond be worth that much? I thought the whole reason why diamonds are so expensive is because of the DeBeers monopoly. Well, that’s why it’d be so expensive, since DeBeers controls so much of the market. Until the folks making the cultured diamonds start cranking them out or someone breaks the monopoly, diamonds are going to remain pricey. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803/40 "2005-12-16T01:13:53Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > So basically, in Chick’s Christianity, greed is okay-the woman didn’t really change, she just became Christian because she was a greedy bitch. In Chick’s Christianity, [it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you believe and pray the way he does](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0037/0037_01.asp). If you do, you go to heaven; if you don’t, you go to hell. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-the-worst-one-ever/335803.md?page=3)