# New Chick Tract- Uninvited **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 7, 2011, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794 "2011-01-07T21:32:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![baronsabato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@baronsabato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/baronsabato)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794/1 "2011-01-07T21:32:39Z")
…and it’s a [good one that takes me back to the good ol’ days](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1070/1070_01.asp)! It even makes up for his previous [disappointing, lackluster attempt](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1063/1063_01.asp) at a tract. Hell, it’s so offensive that I don’t even think the very fundamentalist Southern Baptist congregation of my youth would’ve given this one out. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794/2 "2011-01-07T21:53:37Z")
Wow. It’s like he was slacking off for a while just so he could go all-out for this one. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794/3 "2011-01-07T21:54:34Z")
Outstanding. Just reading it feels like I’ve punched a gay person in the face. Um, outstandingly offensive, that is. I’m not saying I would _like_ to punch a gay person in the face. Except Steve. He knows why. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794/4 "2011-01-07T22:00:51Z")
wow! I did not realize that every single gay man became gay because they were molested as children. Learn something new every day. :rolleyes::rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794/5 "2011-01-07T22:07:33Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > wow! I did not realize that every single gay man became gay because they were molested as children. Learn something new every day. :rolleyes::rolleyes: That is not what it said it all. It takes being molested AND not dragging your torn up and bloody body straight to church immediately afterwards to become gay. The nurse didn’t turn out to be a lesbian after all. Great Chick Tract. Let’s hope there is a good run of them in 2011. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794/6 "2011-01-07T22:09:21Z")
I dunno. There’s no “HAW! HAW! HAW!,” and no Snidely Whiplash-style evil character. Kinda tame, in most respects. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794/7 "2011-01-07T22:20:59Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > I dunno. There’s no “HAW! HAW! HAW!,” and no Snidely Whiplash-style evil character. > > Kinda tame, in most respects. But see, he’s grown beyond such obvious tropes and matured into a whole new realm of subtlety. Why, I got to panel 5 or 6 before realizing that those people were supposed to be gay men with AIDS, and not just your everyday run-of-the-mill cancer or dementia patients. And not a hook-nosed Jew or turbaned Mooslim in sight! ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794/8 "2011-01-07T22:26:24Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > But see, he’s grown beyond such obvious tropes and matured into a whole new realm of subtlety. Why, I got to panel 5 or 6 before realizing that those people were supposed to be gay men with AIDS, and not just your everyday run-of-the-mill cancer or dementia patients. And not a hook-nosed Jew or turbaned Mooslim in sight! I’m just not sure I’m on board with this whole “subtlety” concept. You see, evangelical tracts should knock would-be converts over the head with plain, easy-to-comprehend English, just as God wrote the Bible in plain, easy-to-comprehend English. Subtlety is tool of Satan. It creates guessing games. No good can come of it. Jack! Listen to me! Bring back “HAW! HAW! HAW!” ---
**Author:** ![baronsabato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@baronsabato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/baronsabato)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794/9 "2011-01-07T22:34:42Z")
I’m not even sure which is my favorite part, the giant evil demon heart, the brutal rape of the hospice care lady (which would’ve made her a lesbian if it weren’t for the happy coincidence of running into a conservative church in the middle of nowhere), gay AIDS patient #3 going, “I love my lifestyle and I HATE Jesus!”… They’re all good. I’m sure this tract will convince _many_ gay folks that they need to convert to Jack Chick’s brand of independent fundamentalist Baptist Christianity and be saved. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794/10 "2011-01-07T22:34:51Z")
Wait, so god punished them for getting molested? What an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794/11 "2011-01-07T22:37:09Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > I dunno. There’s no “HAW! HAW! HAW!,” and no Snidely Whiplash-style evil character. I also miss the donkey-bray laughter, but the Evil Turnip in pannel 1 on page 17 is pretty cool, in a menacing vegitable kinda way. The burning of Sodom is also suitably old-testament. > [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > Wait, so god punished them for getting molested? What an asshole. Yeah - How _dare_ they get mollested?! ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794/12 "2011-01-07T22:40:49Z")
Man oh man oh man. Where to start? It’s grossly offensive, completely wrong, filled with bizarre evil lizards, and ends with a giant slime meteor slamming into the earth. This is Chick Classic! So God sends fireballs and slime meteors and floods, but Satan causes people to get AIDS. Or is it the other way around? This religion stuff can be confusing. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794/13 "2011-01-07T22:42:36Z")
I’ll give you the evil heart with vampire fangs. That’s pure win. The direct attack on “I was born this way” scores some points, too. Maybe I’ll raise my grade on this one, slightly. But I dunno, the subtlety thing is a slippery slope straight to Hell! ---
**Author:** ![DeptfordX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DeptfordX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeptfordX)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2011, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794/14 "2011-01-08T01:11:15Z")
Whoah, he really phoned in the last couple but this is a glorious return to pure crazy. The judges are going to have to give this at least a 5.9. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2011, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794/15 "2011-01-08T02:22:28Z")
I’ve seen a lot of . . . . remarkable messages from Chick, we all have, but, “Rape/molestation can put a possessing-demon into you that turns you gay” . . . Wow! This sets a new standard! 🙂 And . . . I knew you’re not supposed to “lust after strange flesh,” but I was thinking, you know, nutria or sweetbreads or something . . . ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2011, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794/16 "2011-01-08T02:35:29Z")
Hijack: I just recently, online, re-read [_The Screwtape Letters,_](http://members.fortunecity.com/phantom1/books2/c._s._lewis_-_the_screwtape_letters.htm) by C.S. Lewis. (One of the most convincing atheism tracts **ever,** but that’s nor here nor there.) And it’s hard to believe the same religion (yes, yes, or whatever word Chick would prefer) produced them both. The similarities are obvious, of course. But, to Lewis, once you become a Christian you are by no means home free, there still are countless ways for the demons to subtly and gradually wear down your spiritual state until they have you. Saving your soul is **hard work** in ways you could never imagine when you start. Chick is all about once-and-for-all “easy grace”; apparently once you’re sincerely born-again and saved, Wormwood can’t even whisper in your ear. On any scale of “realism” applicable to such things, I would say Lewis is far, far more realistic than Chick. ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2011, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794/17 "2011-01-08T03:30:20Z")
Creating little sodomites? I see all aids patients suffer from kaposis sarcoma at the same time. Also, no one ever gets it from a transfusion or bad needle. Love the evil tomato (it was a tomato, not a turnip!) ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2011, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794/18 "2011-01-08T03:37:49Z")
> [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](#): > > So God sends fireballs and slime meteors and floods, but Satan causes people to get AIDS. Or is it the other way around? This religion stuff can be confusing. No, no. Satan causes people to schlurp the schlong and wiggle their wicked weenies in bouncy backsides. AIDS is simply God’s just burning vengeance on those who yield to temptation. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2011, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794/19 "2011-01-08T04:12:31Z")
Yay, Chick is back! This is some quality crazy right here. \*Everything \*about it was wrong. > [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > Wait, so god punished them for getting molested? What an asshole. Right! That’s what I was thinking. Forget the gay-bashing for a moment. People need to repent now because they were abused? Super dick move, God. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2011, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794/20 "2011-01-08T04:16:04Z")
“Satan is one of the most powerful beings created by the Lord Jesus”. Did I miss that part of the New Testament? When did that happen? Did JC conjure up loaves, fishes, and satan? Did he change too much water into wine and create Satan as a drinking buddy? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-uninvited/566794.md?page=2)