# New Chick Tract: "Who Is He?" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 5, 2008, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340 "2008-07-05T00:48:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/1 "2008-07-05T00:48:24Z")
[Who Is He?](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1049/1049_01.asp?wpc=1049_01.asp&wpp=b) Good title, but the answer is kind of obvious, and is revealed in the first panel- Jesus? But who _is_ He, really? God, of course- the Creator, the miracle worker, the Savior, and your only hope of going to Heaven. This one is pretty weak, as far as Chick tracts are concerned. Basically “The Adventures of Jesus Christ.” Chick has done a number of “beginner tracts” explaining who Jesus is and why you should pray to him, and this is an example of one of those. The most amusing parts of this tract are the first two panels, and the page depicting things Jesus created and the fact that he keeps the universe from flying apart. “He’s got the whole world in his hands,” indeed. And the pictures of things he created sounds like a kid attempting to answer the questions if you verbalize it: “God created…alligators! And elephants, and Saturn, and…um…ants, and flowers, and kings, and butterflies and…uh…Vikings?” ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/2 "2008-07-05T00:55:15Z")
Hunh. I thought the Universe _was_ flying apart. ---
**Author:** ![Ducktail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/43a26b/32.png) [@Ducktail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ducktail)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/3 "2008-07-05T01:02:22Z")
Am I the only one wincing a little at the line “What you do with Him determines whether you will go to Heaven or Hell”? Because I’m pretty sure the authors didn’t mean it like _that_. ---
**Author:** ![Nicolas\_Bourbaki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecc23a/32.png) [@Nicolas\_Bourbaki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicolas_Bourbaki)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/4 "2008-07-05T01:02:59Z")
Is everyone on the first two pages a caricature? I recognize Louis Farrakhan, Moqtada al-Sadr, and . . . umm . . . Bill-Gaines-with-a-handlebar-mustache, and most of the other faces look drawn with someone in mind, but the bikers look like generic Chick ‘sinners’. ---
**Author:** ![Ducktail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/43a26b/32.png) [@Ducktail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ducktail)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/5 "2008-07-05T01:10:59Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] The most amusing parts of this tract are the first two panels, and the page depicting things Jesus created and the fact that he keeps the universe from flying apart. “He’s got the whole world in his hands,” indeed. And the pictures of things he created sounds like a kid attempting to answer the questions if you verbalize it: “God created…alligators! And elephants, and Saturn, and…um…ants, and flowers, and kings, and butterflies and…uh…Vikings?” [/QUOTE] Ah, yes, if Eddie Izzard contributed to a Chick tract… “And on the first day He created light and air and fish and jam and soup and potatoes and haircuts and arguments and small things and rabbits and people with noses and jam – more jam, perhaps – and soot and flies and tobogganing and showers and toasters and grandmothers. And Belgium.” ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/6 "2008-07-05T01:12:44Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] [Who Is He?](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1049/1049_01.asp?wpc=1049_01.asp&wpp=b) Good title, but the answer is kind of obvious [/QUOTE] Yeah, it’s Obama. 🙂 Wonder what’ll happen what Jack Chick takes on Obama - there are all sorts of angles for someone as crazy as Jack. This of course assumes Jack Chick _knows_ who is currently running for President and isn’t still upset about Adlai Stevenson. ---
**Author:** ![CaerieD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@CaerieD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaerieD)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/7 "2008-07-05T01:56:17Z")
This one does have a few gems in it, though it’s not the best. My personal favorite is the one on Lazarus: > [@](#): > > By now he _stinketh_, Master. And then, of course: > [@](#): > > Look at all the power Jesus holds… **IT’S AWESOME** ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/8 "2008-07-05T03:20:28Z")
[QUOTE=Ducktail] Am I the only one wincing a little at the line “What you do with Him determines whether you will go to Heaven or Hell”? Because I’m pretty sure the authors didn’t mean it like _that_. [/QUOTE] Missionary - you go to hell. Reverse Cowgirl - pergatory Doggie Style - Straight to the 7th heaven! ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/9 "2008-07-05T03:24:29Z")
I love “Jesus’ claims about himself”. The ultimate “my post is my cite”. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/10 "2008-07-05T03:45:56Z")
Is there still an actual Jack Chick, or is it sort of a house name? ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/11 "2008-07-05T03:48:48Z")
“Jesus was a Muslim”?? Is that a parody of “Obama is a Muslim”? ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/12 "2008-07-05T04:00:23Z")
[QUOTE=Freddy the Pig] “Jesus was a Muslim”?? Is that a parody of “Obama is a Muslim”? [/QUOTE] No, that is supposed to be a Muslim speaking. Muslims generally believe Jesus was the Messiah and like all other prophets- a Muslim. > **[Jesus, a Muslim, Was Neither Killed, nor Crucified](https://www.missionislam.com/comprel/jesuscrucified.htm)** ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/13 "2008-07-05T04:11:08Z")
[QUOTE=Ducktail] Am I the only one wincing a little at the line “What you do with Him determines whether you will go to Heaven or Hell”? Because I’m pretty sure the authors didn’t mean it like _that_. [/QUOTE] The ultimate casting couch. ---
**Author:** ![Nicolas\_Bourbaki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecc23a/32.png) [@Nicolas\_Bourbaki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicolas_Bourbaki)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/14 "2008-07-05T04:18:30Z")
> [@](#): > > This one does have a few gems in it, though it’s not the best. My personal favorite is the one on Lazarus: 36Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him! 37And some of them said, Could not this man, which opened the eyes of the blind, have caused that even this man should not have died? 38Jesus therefore again groaning in himself cometh to the grave. It was a cave, and a stone lay upon it. 39Jesus said, Take ye away the stone. Martha, the sister of him that was dead, saith unto him, **Lord, by this time he stinketh: for he hath been dead four days**. 40Jesus saith unto her, Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God? John 11 36:40 KJV Chick’s _very_ conscientious about keeping to the King James translation, as you might have guessed from some of his classics. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/15 "2008-07-05T10:54:24Z")
[QUOTE=Freddy the Pig] “Jesus was a Muslim”?? Is that a parody of “Obama is a Muslim”? [/QUOTE] What about “I believe he was Buddha’s cousin”. Is that intended as just ignorant drivel like the bit about cutting off Jonah’s head? Or is there some obscure weirdness in the world that I’ve managed to miss, where somebody has a family tree with Jesus and Gautamas (and the Greystokes) Incidentally, the character speaking the line looks remarkably like Abel, from the House of Secrets comics. I didn’t know he new Farrakhan. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/16 "2008-07-05T13:10:18Z")
I begin to suspect that either Alzheimer’s disease runs in Jack Chick’s family, or else his entire circle of acquaintances has some sort of silent agreement to dick with his mind at every opportunity. “Yeah, we’re hoping to take the kids to the beach this month, but-- Oh shit, here comes Jack. Watch out, everybody.” “Hi folks! Praise the Lord, it’s a lovely day. Say, have I shown you all my new tract about Jesus?” “Er… Jesus? Sorry, Jack; doesn’t ring a bell. Who is this… Jesus?” “What?! It’s Jesus! You know, Jesus Christ?” “Nooo… anybody here heard of this ‘Jesus’ fellow? No? Sorry, Jack; I guess we don’t follow sports that closely. What team is he on?” “But… He’s JESUS! The Christ! The Messiah! Son of God? Founder of Christianity? The guy I’ve spent my entire adult life prosletyzing about? Larry, I told you about Jesus last Memorial Day! I gave you literature and everything! Remember?” “Er… sorry, Jack. I can’t be expected to remember every last offhand remark you make, can I? Look, why don’t you just tell us all about this friend Jerome of yours.” “Damn it! Why do you always do this? You are all going to hell unless you pay attention, don’t you realize that? Mom! Mom, help me out here!” “…Are you the milkman?” ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/17 "2008-07-05T13:49:30Z")
[QUOTE=Attack from the 3rd dimension] What about “I believe he was Buddha’s cousin”. Is that intended as just ignorant drivel like the bit about cutting off Jonah’s head? Or is there some obscure weirdness in the world that I’ve managed to miss, where somebody has a family tree with Jesus and Gautamas (and the Greystokes) [/QUOTE] There are a number of incidents in the Buddha’s life that are echoed in Jesus’. Since the stories are some 450 years before Jesus, there are those\* who believe that the stories were circulating around the Middle East and were incorporated into Jesus’ story. More to the point though, boiled down to its simplest terms, the Buddha’s and Jesus’ message is the same: Don’t be a dick. > [@Nicolas Bourbaki](#): > > Chick’s very conscientious about keeping to the King James translation, as you might have guessed from some of his classics. Don’t he, though? Panel 19 I was humming _The Messiah_ His name is Wonderful, Counselor The mighty God, (the king of kings) Which is apparently cribbed from another passage. \*Buddhists, mainly, like me. ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/18 "2008-07-05T14:06:16Z")
I love the little bit of mathematics about the prophecies – “The chances of fulfilling all of them are about a zillion to one.” I wonder, did he work out those odds all by himself? ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/19 "2008-07-05T15:00:10Z")
[QUOTE=DesertDog] More to the point though, boiled down to its simplest terms, the Buddha’s and Jesus’ message is the same: Don’t be a dick.. [/QUOTE] They say great ideas can’t be reduced a simple phrase, but you’ve got two major religions summarized in one short sentence. Well done. 🙂 [QUOTE=DesertDog] \*Buddhists, mainly, like me. [/QUOTE] \*Me too. I think we’re surrounded. I still don’t quite get how having old stories and sutras floating around in the philosophosphere to be incorporated into a new religion would equal “cousin”- wouldn’t that mean that Jesus is also Mithras’ cousin as well? Of course, if this did make sense to me, that might mean I was at one with the mind of Jack Chick, which is not a fate I wish to contemplate. Thanks ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/20 "2008-07-05T15:13:59Z")
[QUOTE=El\_Kabong] Hunh. I thought the Universe _was_ flying apart. [/QUOTE] You try holding something in your hand for 6,000 years and see if you don’t get the occasional cramp. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340.md?page=2)