# New Chick Tract: "Who Is He?" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 5, 2008, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340 "2008-07-05T00:48:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/21 "2008-07-05T15:58:49Z")
I want to use the devils Jesus casts out as models for Spore creatures. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/22 "2008-07-05T19:28:46Z")
[QUOTE=Jack Chick] By now he **stinketh** , Master. [/QUOTE] That right there is the greatest sentence I have ever seen in a Chick tract. That beats out HAW HAW HAW by a long shot. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/23 "2008-07-05T20:27:12Z")
[QUOTE=DesertDog] More to the point though, boiled down to its simplest terms, the Buddha’s and Jesus’ message is the same: Don’t be a dick. [/QUOTE] May I borrow that for a signature? > [@Baldwin](#): > > Is there still an actual Jack Chick, or is it sort of a house name? He seems to be still around and still nominally in charge of his outfit, though I think he has staff doing most of the actual day-to-day by now. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2008, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/24 "2008-07-05T22:02:21Z")
[QUOTE=Half Man Half Wit] I love the little bit of mathematics about the prophecies – “The chances of fulfilling all of them are about a zillion to one.” I wonder, did he work out those odds all by himself? [/QUOTE] “The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one… but still… they come!” Sorry. Now I have the music stuck in my head. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2008, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/25 "2008-07-06T01:14:04Z")
[QUOTE=Attack from the 3rd dimension] I still don’t quite get how having old stories and sutras floating around in the philosophosphere to be incorporated into a new religion would equal “cousin”- wouldn’t that mean that Jesus is also Mithras’ cousin as well? Of course, if this did make sense to me, that might mean I was at one with the mind of Jack Chick, which is not a fate I wish to contemplate. Thanks [/QUOTE] Spiritually, aren’t we all cousins, Coz? Your neighbor is your cousin; that guy who flipped you off in traffic is your cousin; your sworn enemy is your cousin. Why, even that girl I spent that night in a pup tent with is my cousin. I’ll be in my bunk. ---
**Author:** ![DiggitCamara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df788c/32.png) [@DiggitCamara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiggitCamara)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2008, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/26 "2008-07-06T04:31:18Z")
[QUOTE=Nicolas Bourbaki] (snip) Chick’s _very_ conscientious about keeping to the King James translation, as you might have guessed from some of his classics. [/QUOTE] I’ve always wondered about that. Why the fixation on that translation? And does that mean that any non-english speaker is automatically doomed? And/or that England was, for some reason, the new chosen country? ---
**Author:** ![Nanoda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Nanoda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanoda)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2008, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/27 "2008-07-06T05:28:17Z")
[QUOTE=SpazCat] > [@Jack Chick](#): > > By now he stinketh, Master. That right there is the greatest sentence I have ever seen in a Chick tract. That beats out HAW HAW HAW by a long shot. [/QUOTE] I LOLed ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2008, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/28 "2008-07-06T08:04:43Z")
[QUOTE=DiggitCamara] I’ve always wondered about that. Why the fixation on that translation? And does that mean that any non-english speaker is automatically doomed? And/or that England was, for some reason, the new chosen country? [/QUOTE] No, there’s a big FAQ on his site about why the King James Translation is the Word of God™ in **English** … granted the FAQ often handwaves away odd and mis-translations, but whatever. Either way, the fact is, he recognizes the other language versions. Pretty much so long as you’re worshiping the right holy trinity in the correct manner you’re good. Anyway… I find this one mostly lacking, even his detractors are doing better (though how could you beat Lovecraft?) > **[Cthulhu Tract | By Fred Van Lente and Steve Ellis](http://www.fredvanlente.com/cthulhutract/pages/index.html)** [http://esr.ibiblio.org/index.php?p=135](http://esr.ibiblio.org/index.php?p=135) (I found a better page with the same one a few days ago but am unable to find the page again, just ignore the weird coding errors). ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2008, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/29 "2008-07-06T08:21:31Z")
[QUOTE=DiggitCamara] I’ve always wondered about that. Why the fixation on that translation? [/QUOTE] When it comes to religion, the usual answer is: “because it’s what he grew up with, and no better reason”. You can apply it to almost any aspect. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2008, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/30 "2008-07-06T15:37:44Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] “The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one… but still… they come!” Sorry. Now I have the music stuck in my head. [/QUOTE] Dammit! Now I’ve got that vocordered OOOOOO-LAAAAA! stuck in my head as well! Thanks, **Sunspace**! ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2008, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/31 "2008-07-06T17:19:28Z")
[QUOTE=Baldwin] Spiritually, aren’t we all cousins. [/QUOTE] I’ll be over soon to borrow money. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2008, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/32 "2008-07-06T22:35:40Z")
I woke up in a Dead Sea doorway The Messiah knew my name. He said “I can walk on water, But can you get up and do the same?” He spent his weekend on a phone pole, Lord, there’s got to be a better way. Now, tell me who is he? OOO-OO-OOO! Tell me who is he? OOO-OO-OOO! I really want to know! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2008, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/33 "2008-07-06T23:00:23Z")
> [@](#): > > Is everyone on the first two pages a caricature? I recognize Louis Farrakhan, Moqtada al-Sadr, and . . . umm . . . Bill-Gaines-with-a-handlebar-mustache Yeah -p- I was wondering why they have Bill Gaines saying “Jesus was intoleant … I HATE that!” You’d think Bill would be more likely to say something about him changing water into wine. He’d LIKE _that_. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2008, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/34 "2008-07-06T23:47:09Z")
I think the “Jesus was intolerant … I HATE that!” thing is a rehash of the fallacious argument that if you’re generally of the opinion that people should be tolerant, then you should tolerate the intolerant. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2008, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/35 "2008-07-07T01:06:31Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] Yeah -p- I was wondering why they have Bill Gaines saying “Jesus was intoleant … I HATE that!” You’d think Bill would be more likely to say something about him changing water into wine. He’d LIKE _that_. [/QUOTE] I’m glad I’m not the only one who immediately saw Bill Gaines in that second panel. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2008, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/36 "2008-07-07T13:15:34Z")
Bill Gaines of _Mad_? Does sort of look like him. How’d _he_ get on Chick’s Naughty List? I know it’s obvious, but I never get tired of the basic Jack Chick premise that we live in a country full of people only vaguely aware that there’s something called Christianity. I guess in his mind, that’s the way it really is. ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2008, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/37 "2008-07-07T16:36:21Z")
[QUOTE=Baldwin] Bill Gaines of _Mad_? Does sort of look like him. How’d _he_ get on Chick’s Naughty List? I know it’s obvious, but I never get tired of the basic Jack Chick premise that we live in a country full of people only vaguely aware that there’s something called Christianity. I guess in his mind, that’s the way it really is. [/QUOTE] I think Chickian logic works like this… Jesus is the greatest thing ever. Christianity… true Christianity is the only way to salvation and even a child can see it is the best way to be. It was created by God thus is perfect. There are people out there who are not Christians… Why? A) They don’t want to be. B) They have been decieved about the message by others (THE DEVIL HAW HAW HAW) . C) they haven’t heard the message yet Well as God is Perfect so A can’t be right. B) is the good excuse to how people can be turned away by either the Devil or his instrument (the Catholic church in Chick’s world) except that would mean the Devil is really really powerful as he has decieved a hell of a lot of people! C) Is the safest most comfortable answer. In short Chick thinks the reason there aren’t more Christians is that most of it just hasn’t heard the word yet. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2008, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/38 "2008-07-07T17:12:38Z")
[QUOTE=kingpengvin] I think Chickian logic works like this… Jesus is the greatest thing ever. Christianity… true Christianity is the only way to salvation and even a child can see it is the best way to be. It was created by God thus is perfect. There are people out there who are not Christians… Why? A) They don’t want to be. B) They have been decieved about the message by others (THE DEVIL HAW HAW HAW) . C) they haven’t heard the message yet Well as God is Perfect so A can’t be right. B) is the good excuse to how people can be turned away by either the Devil or his instrument (the Catholic church in Chick’s world) except that would mean the Devil is really really powerful as he has decieved a hell of a lot of people! C) Is the safest most comfortable answer. In short Chick thinks the reason there aren’t more Christians is that most of it just hasn’t heard the word yet. [/QUOTE] God’s Perfection has nothing to do with people not wanting to be Christians, and Jack has no problems portraying people who have had every opportunity to accept Christ choosing to reject Him & thus condemning themselves to Hell. Now, C to the extent Jack portrays it is ridiculous, but it’s amazing how much ignorance about the Bible & Christian doctrine there is, including among professing Christians. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2008, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/39 "2008-07-07T17:19:35Z")
[QUOTE=Nicolas Bourbaki] Is everyone on the first two pages a caricature? I recognize Louis Farrakhan [/QUOTE] Ah… that makes sense. I honestly thought it was Ray Charles and was wondering “Did Ray say that?” I wonder if Chick ever worked with or was turned down for a job by or parodied by Bill Gaines. (And how the hell old is Chick by now? I wonder if there’s anybody who’ll carry on when he’s gone to stand before the faceless glowing giant on the concrete thrown in the clouds.) ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2008, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340/40 "2008-07-07T17:28:59Z")
I like the little doggie the biker guy has on the back of his vest. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tract-who-is-he/455340.md?page=3)