# New Chick tracts for Halloween! Get 'em while ya can!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 6, 2001, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969 "2001-09-06T01:54:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969/1 "2001-09-06T01:54:06Z")
[“Framed,”](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5006/5006_01.asp) the stirring story of a guy named Joey, falsely accused of trying to sneak a gun past a lie detector. After listening to his good friend Bob (who once said, [“It’s evolution or Jesus, Janet!”](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5002/5002_01.asp)) compare his travails to those of Joseph (who owned a colorful coat), he asks Jesus to save his soul. Thirty minutes later, the cops call and say they’ve dropped all charges! Obviously, prayer works! [“The Little Ghost”](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1010/1010_01.asp) Simple story, simple art, obviously for children, unlike the sophisticated tracts obviously created for adults. A boy (also named Joey) dressed as a ghost tries to scare a little girl who says she ain’t afraid a’ nuttin’ 'cause she knows Jesus! She leads her friends in prayer, ensuring that their six-year-old souls won’t go to H-E-double-hockey-sticks. [“Turn Halloween into a night of Evangelism”](http://www.chick.com/seasonal/halloween/) Give Chick tracts along with candy to the trick-or-treaters! Tell 'em [the true story of Halloween](http://www.chick.com/seasonal/halloween/halloweenhistory.asp) and how kids are risking their immortal souls by trick-or-treating. Help keep a debunked UL alive: > [@](#): > > The widespread problem of harmful substances such as razor blades, drugs, poisons, needles, etc. being placed in the Halloween treats here in America is no accident. Testimonies of several ex-Satanists show that these children killed and injured by the “treats” are sacrifices to Satan (or Samhain). Satanists throughout the world continue to perform human sacrifices on Halloween. Read an [article](http://www.chick.com/seasonal/halloween/celebrate.asp) written by someone claiming to be “a former witch high priest.” ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969/2 "2001-09-06T02:17:37Z")
\ There’a a book [The World of Chick](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0867195126/qid=999742021/sr=1-1/ref=sc_b_1/102-3506372-8960920) that any Chick “fan” needs. The author[sup]1[/sup] exhaustively catalogs every tract and variations within each revision of the tract (Chick updates his material regularly, apparently), gives short synopsis of ALL of Chick’s tracts, even the “retired” ones, and gives about as detailed a biography as is possible. It’s a pretty good read, and I recommend it to anyone else fasciated by Jack Chick (It also comes with 5 sample tracts, including “This Was YOUR Life” and “This Was YOUR Life” in…um…Swahiili? (You can’t read it, but it’s interenting to note how Chick completely redraws the issue with black characters and the changes in posture, expression and stance that he makes. It’s not racist, really, but it is…I dunno…something.) Fenris [sup]1[/sup] Be prepared, though. The author himself is a Kook. At one point he’s making snotty comments about Jack Chick’s silly superstitious world-view and within a couple of paragraphs says (in essence, and I’m making up the astrology) “But what can you expect from a Scorpio? I cast his horoscope and his moon is in Capricorn so he’s obviously a believer in silly superstitions.” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969/3 "2001-09-06T02:20:30Z")
So Joey is saved when the cops trace the serial number to the gun’s real owner, huh? Proof that God supports handgun registration! ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969/4 "2001-09-06T02:40:49Z")
"Many Christians celebrate holidays, such as Halloween, without thinking about their origins or true meaning. It is impossible to separate Halloween from the Druids because they originated the ‘holiday.’ " Right, Jack, unlike the pure, wholly Christian idea that is December 25th. :rolleyes: Has anyone seen Jack’s stance on Christmas celebrations with a tree and mistletoe, etc? Damn this guy is embarassing. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969/5 "2001-09-06T02:42:11Z")
Apparently, Chick fans are delusional. > [@](#): > > "… you could see them digging in their treat bags in search for the tract. Some kids yelled out to other kids: ‘Hey they’re giving out the good stuff’. They seemed more delighted that little booklets went into their bags than the candy. In what universe does this happen? "Oh, good, a crappy booklet instead of a Baby Ruth, whooppee! :rolleyes: > [@](#): > > "I placed 100 THE PRESENT beside my Halloween candy. Just before the first child arrived, I decided, “no, better not”… when a burst of faith entered my heart… not to fear the consequences. The kids loved them. It was a thrill Either they’re lying or they are seriously tripping. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969/6 "2001-09-06T02:59:13Z")
I’m seriously going to go out on a limb on this one. I didn’t think “Framed” was all that bad. It’s the first one I’ve seen that wasn’t devoted to bashing someone else. For the first time ever, IIRC, it deals with the Torah. There were no bad guys, save for some generic thugs. The story from the torah is actually, for the most part, interpreted correctly. The only thing I didn’t get was why the whole story about Jesus made an innocent man shake and scream “I’m a sinner!” but, overall, not that offensive. It’s like a new and improved Chick, now with Jesus Lite! ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969/7 "2001-09-06T03:19:27Z")
Oooh! Chick tracts! They’re more entertaining than the Sunday funnies, and they don’t even _try_. Truly amazing. Thanks for the update. . . [slight hijack] On the “ex-witch high priest” thing, did anyone notice this link? [http://www.chick.com/seasonal/halloween/vampireletter.asp](http://www.chick.com/seasonal/halloween/vampireletter.asp) I think I’m going to let the link speak for itself…although I would like to add some derisive laughter. ::derisively laughs:: [/slight hijack] –Gabe, the happy little agnostic ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969/8 "2001-09-06T04:33:35Z")
Is it a happy accident that Jack Chick tracts are the same size as pocket-sized Kleenex packages? Cuz the next time I need to wipe my… ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969/9 "2001-09-06T06:58:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > "Many Christians celebrate holidays, such as Halloween, without thinking about their origins or true meaning. It is impossible to separate Halloween from the Druids because they originated the ‘holiday.’ " > > Right, Jack, unlike the pure, wholly Christian idea that is December 25th. :rolleyes: Has anyone seen Jack’s stance on Christmas celebrations with a tree and mistletoe, etc? > > Damn this guy is embarassing. Although Chick does urge his followers to take the Christmas season (which according to one mall store I was in today has apparently already started) as an opportunity to [pass out tracts and dis Santa Claus](http://www.chick.com/seasonal/christmas/default.asp), I don’t think he goes far enough in warning decent God-fearing Christians of the [Papistical and idolatrous origins](http://www.swrb.com/newslett/actualnls/HoHoSong.htm) of Christmas. I especially like the line “Servetus roasting in an open fire” from their song “Banish Christmas” (sung to the tune of “Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire”, of course). Ah, Christian love–it brings a tear to my eye every time! ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969/10 "2001-09-06T10:06:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > Apparently, Chick fans are delusional. > > > [@](#): > > > > "… you could see them digging in their treat bags in search for the tract. Some kids yelled out to other kids: ‘Hey they’re giving out the good stuff’. They seemed more delighted that little booklets went into their bags than the candy. > > In what universe does this happen? "Oh, good, a crappy booklet instead of a Baby Ruth, whooppee! :rolleyes: Perhaps they just can’t recognize a sarcastic tone of voice. (“Hey, they’re giving out the _good_ stuff! Let’s go next door now – I hear they’re giving out _dental floss_! Hooray!”) ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969/11 "2001-09-06T10:26:41Z")
Minty… > [@](#): > > Proof that God supports handgun registration! All the more reason to be against it. 😃 Cyn… > [@](#): > > Is it a happy accident that Jack Chick tracts are the same size as pocket-sized Kleenex packages? Cuz the next time I need to wipe my… … Ass? Do you really want a Chick Tract that close to your sphincter? I mean, they’re full of enough shit as it is. ---
**Author:** ![NutWrench](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nutwrench/32/20193_2.png) [@NutWrench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutWrench)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969/12 "2001-09-06T11:20:13Z")
Jack Chick tracts are proof that we evolved from lower forms of life. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969/13 "2001-09-06T12:55:53Z")
> [@](#): > > A surprising number of these people perform their vampirism in a religious context of some sort, quite frequently rooted in Catholicism. I KNEW all those people at Midnight Mass looked sort of pale… yet strangely they didn’t shy away from the crucifixes all over the place. Must’ve been Jewish vampires, like in Roman Polanski’s The Fearless Vampire Killers. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969/14 "2001-09-06T13:13:18Z")
Liked that one for kids. Why on earth do they have the dog and cat praying?? Sadly, my former church has members who actually paste these tracts; Boo!; on bus stops before halloween. ---
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969/15 "2001-09-06T16:57:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NutWrench \* > \*\*Jack Chick tracts are proof that we evolved from lower forms of life. 😃 \*\* Well… **most** of us evolved. Some stayed a lower form of life. ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969/16 "2001-09-06T17:05:13Z")
Well, shit! I’m Wiccan and I live in Davenport! Is there anyway to save me now? What makes me giggle about the whole thing is that they go on about human sacrifice in one sentence, and in the next they talk about how God sacrificed his only son. The only thing I have ever sacrificed is worn out ideas and stressful things. Not humans, or animals. But, it’s okay for God to. Oh and jab1, thank you for posting this, I almost forgot to go and get my supply of razor blades, needles, and poison for this years festivities. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969/17 "2001-09-06T18:12:40Z")
Darn it all! Just so you didn’t take that wrong I wasn’t rolling my eyes at you jab1. I know it’s the pit and all, but I don’t want to unintentionaly piss people off. When I choose to piss them off, they will sure as hell know about it I assure you. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969/18 "2001-09-06T18:17:30Z")
Seems like more and more I should be marketing that t-shirt that says: “We’re not all like that” ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969/19 "2001-09-06T18:45:47Z")
Perhaps it’s a perversely Freudian misreading on my part, but am I the only one who misread this caption from the home page: _“What happens to Chick’s tracts after you pass them out?”_ as _”What happens to chicks after you pass out?”_ I thought maybe the sick bastard was looking at prison time for trafficking in Rohypnol and sexual assault. ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969/20 "2001-09-06T21:18:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kricket \* > \*\*Oh and jab1, thank you for posting this, I almost forgot to go and get my supply of razor blades, needles, and poison for this years festivities. :rolleyes: \*\* You’re welcome. (I realize you rolled your eyes at the accusation that you would do such a thing.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-for-halloween-get-em-while-ya-can/79969.md?page=2)