# New Chick Tracts "Where Did They Go?" and "Unforgiven?" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 2, 2007, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964 "2007-11-02T02:35:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964/21 "2007-11-02T18:53:44Z")
I could swear I saw the one-horned demon from “Where Did They Go?” on Sesame Street. I guess he wanted to do something “edgier.” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964/22 "2007-11-02T19:00:00Z")
Did Lamont’s grandma develop telekinetic powers in the panel where he tries to put his hands on her? What the hell was that about? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964/23 "2007-11-02T19:15:33Z")
[QUOTE=Marley23] Did Lamont’s grandma develop telekinetic powers in the panel where he tries to put his hands on her? What the hell was that about? [/QUOTE] [Maybe she knows something this guy doesn’t](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMgVmFzBrus). ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964/24 "2007-11-02T19:32:12Z")
[QUOTE=Little Nemo] The people who make a vaccine didn’t create the disease and have no control over the disease. [/QUOTE] Oh I think we all know the US government made the diseases and the vaccines. 😉 [QUOTE=Little Nemo] The reason those people are “unforgiven” is because God won’t forgive them. [/QUOTE] Isn’t the whole death of Jesus supposed to be now he’ll forgive anyone who wants to be forgiven? Why should he forgive folks who don’t want to be forgiven? I mean the rules probably aren’t the best, but complaining about them isn’t going to change them. It reminds me of about half the losers of the Superbowl, “But the Steelers out gained the Cowboys…” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964/25 "2007-11-02T20:58:09Z")
> [@](#): > > I mean the rules probably aren’t the best, but complaining about them isn’t going to change them. But the point is that it’s God/Jesus who made the rule. There’s a massive difference between “Anybody who doesn’t worship me will be killed” and “I’m going to kill anyone who doesn’t worship me”. If Christians were honest, they’d come right and admit that God’s primary concern is being worshipped and he’s going to punish anyone who doesn’t do it. This would establish a simple and direct relationship between God and man. But Christians realize this fact makes God sound self-centered and vindictive. So they try to rewrite the script by pretending that God’s primary concern is his love for us and he’s somehow forced to punish us if we don’t worship him. Which is ridiculous; Christian fundamentalist theology is clear that there is no greater power that can compel God to do anything and it also makes it clear that the rule of “worship me or be damned” was written by God and nobody else. If people go the Hell, it’s because God decided being worshipped is more important that sparing people. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964/26 "2007-11-02T21:32:01Z")
[QUOTE=SpazCat] Who did the art for this tract? He’s too good for Chick tracts. [/QUOTE] According to [Chick Publications](http://www.chick.com/newseries.asp), the artist for the “black tracts” is Fred Carter, a black pastor/artist who has been working for the company since 1972. > [@Monty](#): > > Doesn’t Granny in the 2nd one look kind of like Alfred E. Neuman? I don’t really see any resemblance. But that might be a good slogan. “I’ve already accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. My salvation? What- me worry?” ---
**Author:** ![Fish\_Nya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@Fish\_Nya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish_Nya)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964/27 "2007-11-03T00:49:35Z")
I swear that the devil is talking about Harry Potter when we first see him in **Where Did They Go?** “I’m troubled about the second coming of… You-Know-Who.” ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964/28 "2007-11-03T02:47:29Z")
**Where Did They Go?** – As disturbing as that wide grin on Pastor Weber’s face after his death is, it’s even weirder that he’s still grinning in his coffin. I’m reminded of the one character in the movie **Top Secret** who accidentally sodomized himself to death with a malfunctioning “Anal Intruder” device. _“It took our best surgeons over three hours just to get the smile off his face.”_ Interestingly, going by his tombstone, it appears that the guy’s name actually was “Pastor Weber.” Does the Bible specifically state that possums are the Devil’s minions? Ultimately, it seems like Satan wouldn’t have even known about the Rapture if it weren’t for Pastor Weber. So, really, all the suffering of the End Times can be blamed on Weber and his loose, grinning lips. The message is clear: find Weber now and silence him, while there’s still time! It can’t be too hard: how many guys have the first name “Pastor?” Gotta love the little granny glasses when Satan consults the Bible, though. Nice touch, Jack. **Unforgiven?** – This tract gives me the impression that Jack Chick might be of the “it’s okay to lie your ass off in the name of Jesus” denomination of Christianity. I find the claims of relative whiteness between Jesus and Mohammed to be somewhat suspicious. Strangely, in tracts not specifically targeted toward a black audience, Jesus doesn’t appear quite as overtly pigmented as he does here. I especially like how, at the end, when Jesus is revealed as a hideous faceless titan in Heaven, he’s still a visibly melanistic faceless monstrosity. I also like how Jesus isn’t buying any of that “changing your name” crap from the Black Muslims. You want to call yourself Muhammad? Sorry, LAMONT. Jesus says your sins are unforgiven, LAMONT. One would think that if Christ’s name truly had the power to repulse Muslims physically, sending them cringing backward vampirelike as Grandma 'Lizbeth demonstrated on poor Lamont/Muhammad, the Crusades really ought to have gone a lot differently. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964/29 "2007-11-03T05:31:52Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] This tract gives me the impression that Jack Chick might be of the “it’s okay to lie your ass off in the name of Jesus” denomination of Christianity. [/QUOTE] That’s the actual message in each and every one of his tracts. There’s no “might” about it. It’s a definite. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964/30 "2007-11-03T05:44:32Z")
I changed my sig for the first time in a couple years thanks to “Where Did They Go?..” I never remember to use it, but still. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964/31 "2007-11-03T07:08:20Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] **Where Did They Go?** – As disturbing as that wide grin on Pastor Weber’s face after his death is, it’s even weirder that he’s still grinning in his coffin. I’m reminded of the one character in the movie **Top Secret** who accidentally sodomized himself to death with a malfunctioning “Anal Intruder” device. _“It took our best surgeons over three hours just to get the smile off his face.”_ Interestingly, going by his tombstone, it appears that the guy’s name actually was “Pastor Weber.” [/QUOTE] According to Google, Pastor Weber runs the [Happy Feet Wedding Chapel](http://www.happyfeetweddings.com/), so I gotta say based on the name alone, I think that any reasoned person would be on Satan’s side in wanting to see Pastor Weber suffer. At any rate this is about the umpteenth pissant tract from Chick this year and still _no_ Scientology tract by Chick. [Samuel L. Jackson] I’ve _had it_ with these motherfuckin’ weakass tracts by motherfuckin’ Jack Chick! [/SLJ] Once I’ve suitably primed myself with some “inspiration” I’m going to be sending the Chick folks a nasty email about him turning into a cotton candy ass on all of us. Then, if I’m up to it, I’ll send him a different one, full of weeping about how I feel so let down by all of this that he’s done and how I looked to him as my pillar of strength and now that it’s gone, I just don’t know what I’m going to do and that perhaps I’ll have to succumb to temptation now since I no longer have Jack Chick to help me hold back the demons which have been tempting me for so long now. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964/32 "2007-11-03T09:09:37Z")
Okay, here’s what I sent them > [@](#): > > To whom It May Concern: > > I’m sorry, but I no longer know who Jack Chick is. His latest tract, “Where Did They Go” is just a rambling incoherent mess, and quite frankly, seems to be more demonicly inspired than Christian inspired. At one time, Mr. Chick’s tracts rang with all the power of Jonathan Edwards’ sermon “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God,” now, they’re little better than the pornography shown on Saturday morning! > > His continued obsession with Islam is also quite troubling. Certainly it is a great evil force in the world, but Mr. Chick has addressed it in more tracts than I can count! Meanwhile, Hollywood continues to run amok with Scientologists! Does Mr. Chick not understand that there are more Scientologists amongst the Hollywood pornographers than there are Islamists? And that the goal of the Scientologists is to so totally dominate Hollywood that EVERYTHING produced in Hollywood is a recruiting tool for Scientology? Has he not seen this website: [http://www.xenu.net/](http://www.xenu.net/) which details the horrorific things the Scientologists are up to? How can he not see that Scientology is the Serpent in the Garden? Most Americans won’t want to join a religion like Islam where they can be expected to strap a bomb to themselves, but Scientology? Well, that’s a different story! Look at all the successful actors who are Scientologists! Can Mr. Chick not see how seductive that is to people? Does he not realize that the image of Tom Cruise leaping from rooftop-to-rooftop is vastly more powerful than some guy in a desert who probably copulates with camels? > > I can no longer recommend Mr. Chick’s tracts to my friends who are looking for tools to aid them in their Witnessing. Clearly, Mr. Chick is now a victim of the Satannic forces he once so vigorously warned us against and I cannot sanction even the use of his older tracts as clearly they are tainted as well. With the scandals of late, showing that even the Republican Party and the Aggressive Christians Mission Training Corps, showing that Satan’s talons are deep within America, I realize that now the only words which can be trusted for witnessing are those contained within the Holy Bible. Satan has clearly become so powerful that now all other sources are suspect. I will continue to pray for Mr. Chick’s soul and hope that he is able to return his way to Christ soon. > > Sincerely, > Tuckerfan I trust I don’t need to explain to anyone that the views expressed in the email are not my own, I’m pretty hammered at the moment, and I’ve been listening to _Christianity is Stupid_ by Negativland on repeat while I was working on the email? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964/33 "2007-11-03T12:23:49Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] Okay, here’s what I sent themI trust I don’t need to explain to anyone that the views expressed in the email are not my own, I’m pretty hammered at the moment, and I’ve been listening to _Christianity is Stupid_ by Negativland on repeat while I was working on the email? [/QUOTE] I suggest that you change this sentence from… > [@](#): > > I realize that now the only words which can be trusted for witnessing are those contained within the Holy Bible. to… I realize that now the only words which can be trusted for witnessing are those contained within the \*\*King James Version of the \*\*Holy Bible. That will really let ol’ Chickie know you’re on his side. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964/34 "2007-11-03T13:39:47Z")
**Tuckerfan** , you are my new favorite Doper. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964/35 "2007-11-03T17:06:43Z")
Please Jesus, let them respond. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964/36 "2007-11-03T17:46:21Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] Okay, here’s what I sent them [/QUOTE] I wish I’d known you were doing this, so I could advise you of [this news story](http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/10/31/christian.scientology/index.html?section=cnn_latest) so you could include some **real** ammunition. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964/37 "2007-11-03T18:53:39Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] I wish I’d known you were doing this, so I could advise you of [this news story](http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/10/31/christian.scientology/index.html?section=cnn_latest) so you could include some **real** ammunition. 🙂 [/QUOTE] I’d seen it, but I just couldn’t figure out how to work it into my screed. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964/38 "2007-11-03T22:59:44Z")
It’s entirely possible that Jack eschews comment on Scientology because, unlike the majority of his other targets, they would be quite happy to sue and harass him into oblivion. Jack may not have total faith in the power of Christ to protect him from the endless nuisance lawsuits and other ‘fair game’ tactics of a religion even nuttier and much better organized than his own. Even if he is crazy, that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964/39 "2007-11-03T23:40:56Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] It’s entirely possible that Jack eschews comment on Scientology because, unlike the majority of his other targets, they would be quite happy to sue and harass him into oblivion. Jack may not have total faith in the power of Christ to protect him from the endless nuisance lawsuits and other ‘fair game’ tactics of a religion even nuttier and much better organized than his own. Even if he is crazy, that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s stupid. [/QUOTE] True, but when I last wrote Chick Co., I got vague promises about his next ones being hard hitting, etc. That turned out not to be the case, and this is a helluva lotta fun, besides. (And hey, if bunches of people write him and say similar things, he _might_ just think he needs to toss us a bone to keep the money rolling in!) ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2007, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964/40 "2007-11-04T23:51:18Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] …Jack may not have total faith in the power of Christ to protect him from the endless nuisance lawsuits and other ‘fair game’ tactics-(snip). [/QUOTE] Which reminds me of a broader concern. Sickie Chickie lives in a veritable compond, protecting himself from both physical attackers and interviewers who could make him look foolish or otherwise bad. (As if the latter were even a possibility!) To maintain absolute physical security he has even refrained from attending services, at least in the last several years. Physical security? Whatda’ holy heck? First, he heading for the the great publishing plant in the sky, so why should he care if he’s offed? (Not that I would ever want to harm him even if I could, or want any potential assassins to succeed. We’d never have another travesty to love to hate every other month, for one thing.) If he’s concerned about his work being cut short, is that not in the Almighty’s hands? Seems to me that he’s not particularly concerned with _others_ being in harm’s way for his cause. I mean, it’s pretty hard to imagine him telling a missionary to a very hostile location to at least take along some body armor. * * * True Blue Jack [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-chick-tracts-where-did-they-go-and-unforgiven/424964.md?page=3)