# New Contest! Write Jack Dean Tyler's sig!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [November 10, 2000, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713 "2000-11-10T22:32:32Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 8

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**Author:** ![Jack\_Dean\_Tyler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/46a35a/32.png) [@Jack\_Dean\_Tyler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Dean_Tyler)\
**Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713/141 "2000-11-16T00:18:21Z")

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relic\_11,

\> Okay, so, for MGM: incision=a cut, circumcision=removal of foreskin, subincision=??? and stripping=???  
I have an idea for FGM. Thanks for the clarification, Jack.\<

You’re welcome for the clarification.

Incision, male: The least severe of four male genital mutilations. Either cutting the foreskin just enough to draw blood, or a cutting through of the foreskin in a single place so as to partly expose the glans.

Circumcision, male: A sexually destructive, risky, and mutilative “surgical” procedure in which the prepuce, which contains most of the erotogenic tissue on the penis, is summarily amputated.

Subincision: To circumcise the foreskin and lay open the urethra from the meatus to the scrotum. Still done by the Aborigines in Australia.

Stripping, genital skin stripping: Circumcision of all of the mobile penile skin from the sulcus back to the scrotum. The most severe of four types of male genital mutilation. Called Salkh (literally, scarification) circumcision in Arabic speaking countries.

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**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\
**Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713/142 "2000-11-16T01:10:20Z")

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Well, I went through a couple pages of the various GD and Pit threads devoted to this loon before my brain tried to crawl out of my head, and I must say, Jack, you are definately fucked in the head. Please, for the love of God, find something more productive to do with your time.

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**Author:** ![AKAmame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/aca169/32.png) [@AKAmame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AKAmame)\
**Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713/143 "2000-11-16T02:54:18Z")

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Jack’s 4F:

No Forethought  
No Foreplay  
No Foreskin  
No Forebrain.

Forecast? Forestall forever. Forewarned.

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**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\
**Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713/144 "2000-11-16T07:47:40Z")

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\<Circumcision, male: A sexually destructive, risky, and mutilative “surgical” procedure in which the prepuce, which contains most of the erotogenic tissue on the penis, is summarily amputated.\>

Jack, you’ve said this time and again. Where is your proof for this statement? And no, I’m not going to accept something from the cirp page because I think other posters have adequately attested to its clear bias.

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**Author:** ![AuraSeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@AuraSeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuraSeer)\
**Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713/145 "2000-11-16T09:38:07Z")

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“…but if you rub it, it turns into a suitcase!”

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**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\
**Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713/146 "2000-11-16T11:23:43Z")

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I have to wonder sometimes how Jack feels about penile inversion. 🙂

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**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\
**Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713/147 "2000-11-16T15:20:31Z")

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**relic** , for the love of God, stop encouraging him. He’s a wack-o. Go read the circumcision thread if you need proof (which he couldn’t provide to prove his point if his foreskin depended on it).

I think we should take **Jack** to Judge Judy - I don’t particularly care for her, but she’d rip him a new one. 😃

Esprix

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**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\
**Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713/148 "2000-11-16T15:27:02Z")

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Now that’s an image I didn’t need: Judge Judy ripping someone a new foreskin.

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**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\
**Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713/149 "2000-11-16T15:59:40Z")

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I think Monkey Boy went to the Pee Wee School of Logic (“I know you are, but what am I”). Nothing against Pee Wee (isn’t that name quite appropriate for this thread?!), who I feel is a laff-riot, but, really, it’s so apropos.

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**Author:** ![relic\_11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/50afbb/32.png) [@relic\_11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/relic_11)\
**Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713/150 "2000-11-16T16:47:58Z")

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Sorry, **Esprix** , but I don’t see how I’m encouraging him. I asked a simple question, and got a simple answer. Aren’t those still _debating_ with him encouraging him more?

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**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\
**Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713/151 "2000-11-16T20:48:33Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by Jack Dean Tyler_
> 
> It would be done in the same sterile environment as MGM unless some witchdoctor (like a mohel) is allowed to do it to some other standard (my understanding is that witchdoctors in America actually do a better job at circumcising babies).

Is he allowed saying this? Since when are mohels “witchdoctors”? Well… I suppose it hinges on his definition of “witchdoctor”. I’m not even a religious jew and I’m taking some offense.

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**Author:** ![johnson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d07c76/32.png) [@johnson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnson)\
**Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713/152 "2000-11-17T13:00:43Z")

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Come on, we can’t let this one die, can we?

**JDT** –“You put your foreskin in, you take your foreskin out, you put your foreskin in, and you shake it all about…”

Well, ok, maybe we can…

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**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\
**Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713/153 "2000-11-17T20:20:45Z")

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These are from the “Jack-ass Dean Tyler” thread, and I’m nominating them for **Jack** ’s .sig:

> [@](#):
>
> The more I learn about Sigmund Freud, the more I believe that he really knew what was going on.

And:

> [@](#):
>
> A good example would be when beer was created. Humans were just hunter-gatherers moving from place to place following the herds and such. Then someone invented beer. Everyone liked it. But, as hunter-gatherers, they were unable to make it because such things as the hops and the grain had to be cultivated in one place. So, the hunter-gathers became farmers instead—so that they could have beer. That is what started civilization (they don’t teach this to grade school students for obvious reasons).

Classic… 😃

Esprix

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**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\
**Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713/154 "2000-11-17T21:03:57Z")

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Sorry, **Esprix** but I already nabbed that last one! 😃

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**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\
**Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713/155 "2000-11-17T21:05:53Z")

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Oh Good Lord. Figures. See below.

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**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\
**Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713/156 "2000-11-17T23:50:09Z")

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God, I hate to miss out on the rest of the swingin’ good times, but I’m leaving in the morning to go to Florida for ten days. Remember me fondly and with a tear while I’m gone.

Foreskins, foreskins, roly-poly foreskins,  
Foreskins, foreskins, eat 'em up, yum!

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**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\
**Post date:** [November 18, 2000, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713/157 "2000-11-18T17:02:57Z")

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“Shut your mouth, spread your legs, and tell me that you love me.”

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**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\
**Post date:** [November 18, 2000, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713/158 "2000-11-18T21:53:58Z")

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Foreskin: Keeping you warm on a winter’s day.

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**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713/159 "2000-11-19T01:54:12Z")

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The penis is mightier than the sword.

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**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\
**Post date:** [November 19, 2000, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-contest-write-jack-dean-tylers-sig/40713/160 "2000-11-19T06:49:03Z")

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Does your foreskin hang low?  
Does it wobble to and fro?  
Can you tie it in a knot?  
Can you tie it in a bow?  
Can you throw it over your shoulder,  
Like a Continental soldier?  
Does your foreskin hang low?

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