# New Dope on Board

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [April 13, 2000, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419 "2000-04-13T21:01:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419/21 "2000-04-13T22:36:00Z")

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Odie:  
I think you’ll find it remarkably like this…

* * *

It IS taking longer than I thought!

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**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419/22 "2000-04-13T22:43:00Z")

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Welcome aboard, dragonlady. 🙂

* * *

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank

“Mom, he’s a neo Nazi! He’s a doctor also? Well…” - WallyM7

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**Author:** ![Germ\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85e7bf/32.png) [@Germ\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Germ_Boy)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419/23 "2000-04-13T22:52:00Z")

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:::HIJACK:::  
Satan, does your smoke-free tote board update automatically or do you sit with a stop watch and compute your totals? And, BTW, when you earn your first 24hrs, will you use it now or save it for later?  
:::END OF SITUATION:::

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**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419/24 "2000-04-13T22:55:00Z")

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Welcome, Dragonlady! come to the party, strip down, oil up, grab a pillow, and have fun!

Er, Cinnamon or Peppermint? \< says VB, shaking two bottles enticingly \>

* * *

VB  
I’ve performed a complete diagnosis of your car. It’s broken.

- A Wally original!

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**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419/25 "2000-04-13T22:56:00Z")

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Welcome to the board. I’d like to say you’ve “caught us at a bad time” but I’m afraid it’s like this all the time. Disagreements, name calling, law suit threats, bans, mass exoduses (exodi?), mud slinging, whining, sniveling, groveling, flirting…with an occasional zinger that’ll make you squirt out pop through your nose.

Ain’t it great?? 🙂

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**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419/26 "2000-04-13T23:02:00Z")

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Lisa, I must say I’m proud to be a part of this plan…  
And VB…NEVER peppermint! I expect you to remember that for next time…\<winking evilly\>

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**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419/27 "2000-04-13T23:11:00Z")

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Hi, dragonlady. Welcome aboard! Yes, I have to agree with all here, this is a loonie bin, but a very _nice_ loonie bin!

\<aside to dragonlady, VB is serious, hop over to my party thread and join in if you like\> 😉

except for the felching \<yechhhhhh, I hate to even type that word\> nononononononono.

* * *

You are more than a human being, you are a human becoming.  
Og Mandino

That’s my name, not a description. I am neither purple nor a bear. Okay, so I’m purple.\<a true Wally original!\>

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**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419/28 "2000-04-13T23:17:00Z")

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dragonlady, just so you know:

Coldfire, Milo, Unclebeer, Mully, Swimmey, Shayna, aha, Bean, Uke and Eve are the most despised posters on this board.

I, on the other hand, am beloved by all, for my wit, clarity of thought, and fast internet connection.

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**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419/29 "2000-04-13T23:42:00Z")

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Wally, you Putz! I say that with the greatest of affection and respect! 🙂

Ok DL, Cinnamon oil it is! (my favourite)  
\< VB pours a generous amount onto his hands and briskly rubs them together \>

\< brightly \> Ok, hon, where do you want it first?

* * *

VB  
I’ve performed a complete diagnosis of your car. It’s broken.

- A Wally original!

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**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419/30 "2000-04-13T23:45:00Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Coldfire, Milo, Unclebeer, Mully, Swimmey, Shayna, aha, Bean, Uke and Eve are the most despised posters on this board.

Ya forgot me, ya moose fondling bastid.

* * *

You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing.

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**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419/31 "2000-04-13T23:53:00Z")

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As soon as I hit submit, I gave myself a dope slap for posting an incomplete list.

And sure enough, two of the most hated klutzes show up to remind me of it.

There will be more.

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**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\
**Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419/32 "2000-04-14T00:09:00Z")

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Dragonlady? You wouldn’t happen to be the bride-to-be’s mother who’s been pissing me off these last couple of weeks? That’s what I’ve been calling her! Well, thanks a lot. Now I have to find her a new nickname. :mad:

😉 Welcome aboard! This can be a bumpy ride sometimes. Bring your barf bag.

* * *

Homepage: [www.loosiegoosiemoosie.gov](http://www.loosiegoosiemoosie.gov)  
Occupation: Taxidermist and hunt guide  
Location: Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada  
Interests: The Loyal Order of the Moose, Moosehead (and the beer).

Oh yeah? Well, Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. Backwards. In high heels. - As per Wally

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**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\
**Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419/33 "2000-04-14T00:13:00Z")

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Sigh.

Welcome to the board, dragonlady.

First lesson: Learn to say, loudly and clearly, “Keep your dang hands to yourself.” Once you’ve got that down, everything else should go pretty smoothly.

* * *

## Catrandom

Go to a vet that’s also a taxidermist. Either way, you’ll get your cat back. _Sig courtesy of the amazing WallyM7_

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**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\
**Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419/34 "2000-04-14T00:26:00Z")

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Welcome aboard dragonlady. Please be sure to leave your shoes at the door. We can tolerate most attitudes. Please do not send sexually explicit emails to the males on this board as that is my position. Do not excite Wally too much to begin with as he is still recovering from surgery.  
It would be easier to give you a list of the sane people, it is much shorter, than to try to list the mentally impaired.

* * *

\*\* _Sigh_. So many men, so few who can afford me \*\* _Original by Wally_

_I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it._

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**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\
**Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419/35 "2000-04-14T01:04:00Z")

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I have seen Morgan Fairchild Naked!

* * *

Hi, aha, how the hell are ya? Glad to have you here.  
Ed Zotti

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**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\
**Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419/36 "2000-04-14T01:29:00Z")

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Greenthings and Salivation’s dragonlady.

One hopes that you are welcome here, and not overly toasted (Though for dragons, asbestos underpants are simply uncomfortable and unnessisary.)

I also hope that you learn many odd, strange and wonderfull things while here, but I must tell you right now, nothing said here is truly embarassing, as anyone whom posts such is in reality a closet exhibitionist.

(Of course they air their laundry! Its 2000 and were all attention sluts! —The Lion in Winter, Modern Hollywood adaption.)

* * *

\>\>Being Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry…unless the other guy is bigger than you.\<\<

—The dragon observes

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**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\
**Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419/37 "2000-04-14T03:32:00Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Coldfire, Milo, Unclebeer, Mully, Swimmey, Shayna, aha, Bean, Uke and Eve are the most despised posters on this board.

Yee Haa!! :: Dancin’a jig here :: I **finally** made someone’s list, and of all people’s it was the Magnificent WallyM7’s! And in such illustrious company, too. Does this mean I’ve finally made it into the ranks at SD?

I’m gonna add that to my sig now! **THANKS WALLY!!** 😃😃😃

* * *

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank

“Mom, he’s a neo Nazi! He’s a doctor also? Well…” - WallyM7

“Shayna… [one of] the most despised posters on this board.” As declared by WallyM7, on whose list I am most honored to be, no matter what it was a list of!

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**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\
**Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419/38 "2000-04-14T03:40:00Z")

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Did I mention that aha was **completely** to blame for the latest conflagration against Ed Zotti? Started the whole thing.

(And thanx for the mention, Wallace. Scare 'em away ASAP, I always say. Actually, I never said that ever before now, but anyway …)

* * *

“We are here for this – to make mistakes and to correct ourselves, to withstand the blows and to hand them out.” Primo Levi

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**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\
**Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419/39 "2000-04-14T04:25:00Z")

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Obligatory blanket response post:

Hi dragonlady, welcome, you sound like you’ll fit in just fine.

#1 advice: **Do Not Feed The Trolls (DNFTT)**. 😉

#2 Don’t be rude.

#3 Learn the UBB codes and use them correctly.

#4 Don’t steal bandwidth. (See ATMB).

#5 Flirt with me - I’m shy and need the attention. 😉  
Sealemon88 said:

> [@](#):
>
> Welcome to the Asylum–I mean, the SDMB!
> 
> [snip]
> 
> All bets are based on a 24 hour period after the topic is mentioned
> 
> 2 to one on Pitdom after the first mention of Ed Zotti!

Well, seeing as how Ed came up in the OP, I’ll take that bet. Oh wait, do you mean I have to wait the full 24 hrs? Nevermind.

Tatertot, Elenfair, shame on y’all for bringing up felching! (At least we don’t have to explain it again.)

dragonlady said:

> [@](#):
>
> Elenfair, I promise not to listen to them ALL, but can you tell me which ones are insane??

Checking in.

WallyM7 said:

> [@](#):
>
> As soon as I hit submit, I gave myself a dope slap for posting an incomplete list.
> 
> And sure enough, two of the most hated klutzes show up to remind me of it.
> 
> There will be more.

Checking in. 😉

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\
**Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-dope-on-board/16419/40 "2000-04-14T04:38:00Z")

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Told ya.

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