# New Funny Commercials **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 22, 2004, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-funny-commercials/276018 "2004-11-22T01:13:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-funny-commercials/276018/41 "2004-11-23T21:50:47Z")
> [@down by law](#): > > another ad i like is a ups one, maybe. can’t quite remember which shipping service. maybe fedex… it has some nerdy computer guys in an office dancing to salt n’ pepa’s “push it”, blasting out of an 80’s era boombox. Damn! That’s the one I was going to mention. I love that commercial! “We have 6000 converters” “The trucks on I-4” 'Mecklinberg, where are you? At the Airport." Total deadpan look, and then it’s base beat and DANCE! ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-funny-commercials/276018/42 "2004-11-23T23:08:43Z")
I saw a Subway commercial the other day that had me hopping up and down and yelling, it was so cool. Jared’s on a stage. “You know those McDonalds’s ads, the ones where they say, ‘Keep away from my Chicken Selects?’ Turns out that’s actually pretty good advice, because they’ve got 33 grams of fat per serving.” ---
**Author:** ![dotchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-funny-commercials/276018/43 "2004-11-23T23:36:02Z")
Once again, > [@](#): > > [Scene: Emergency room. A man is being wheeled on a gurney, a sheet covering the lower half of his body.] > > Nurse 1: He’s got money coming out the wazoo! > > Nurse 2: …I’ve never seen anybody with money coming out the wazoo before. Mwahahaha. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-funny-commercials/276018/44 "2004-11-24T00:59:29Z")
> [@KSO](#): > > I like the new Verizon ad (I think it’s Verizon). It’s a spoof on the holidays and talks about how it will be the best Christmahanukwanzakah ever. Or something like that. That one ticks me off, because the song goes: _It’s okay if you’re a Christian, a Muslim or a Jew; It’s okay if you’re agnostic and you don’t know what to do._ … as though agnostics are just a bunch of fence-sitters who haven’t picked a god yet. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-funny-commercials/276018/45 "2004-11-24T01:14:32Z")
> [@tracer](#): > > … as though agnostics are just a bunch of fence-sitters who haven’t picked a god yet. … right, because that’s Unitarians. ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-funny-commercials/276018/46 "2004-11-24T01:20:40Z")
> [@«Ðëëp¤F®ïêd»™](#): > > The NetZero one I like is the spokesguy reflecting on his campaign and the friends he has made and holding up five fingers when he says he’ll be back in four more years…or something like that. Or that picture he holds up with him posing with the guy he thought was a celebrity, but turned out to be some normal guy. ---
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-funny-commercials/276018/47 "2004-11-24T02:17:24Z")
> [@down by law](#): > > now that i think about it, he was in another one of my favorite commercials. i think it was a x-box ad for either a football game or their headset that lets you talk to other players during online play. anyway, peyton’s playing this game and his attempts at trash talking are pitiful. that’s been ahile, though, and i can’t remember any quotes or anything. Same here, so I went digging and found a [cite](http://www.adweek.com/aw/creative/best_spots_02/021216_12.jsp) for that ad, apparently titled “Language Tape”: > [@](#): > > Are you ready for some online football? Peyton Manning isn’t, so he bones up on some trash-talking lingo. “You couldn’t catch a cold,” he practices. “It’s go time ? yo!” “Get out of my house.” “Your defense is offensive.” When one opponent hears the lame statements, he calls Manning a dork. Maybe so, but this online-football thing could catch on. hehheh. I like the current one with Archie reading a bedtime story to Peyton, Eli, and Cooper. Archie’s look of disgust at the end is perfect. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-funny-commercials/276018/48 "2004-11-24T02:35:39Z")
> [@yoyodyne](#): > > The Kyocera “[Lip Fungus](http://www.jengajam.com/r/Kyocera-TV-Ads)” ad cracks me up every time I see it. God yes. That’s hillarious. I especially love the phone’s ‘Get over it!’ at the end. The other ones in the campaign are good for a giggle, too, but nowhere near as funny as that one. ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-funny-commercials/276018/49 "2004-11-24T02:57:05Z")
I like the FedEx ad where the grouchy boss comes out asking who shipped those boxes, and everybody in the office hides themselves whatever furniture makes good camouflage. I watch closely, but I _know_ I’m missing some of them. Another is for the Canadian Bravo cable channel, composed of brief clips of people whose lives have been changed by watching. Highlights include: [ul] [li]The businessman leaning against his desk with a silly smile and saying “My toenails are painted fuchsia! Thanks, Bravo!”[/li][li]Same guy, same pose, saying “I’m wearing my wife’s underwear!”[/li][li]The woman apparently photocopying her chest[/li][li]Two guys in the mailroom taking turns giving each other wedgies[/li][li]The guy popping up in his cube to say “I’m gay-for-a-day! Thanks, Bravo!” and high-fiving his neighbours[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Mapp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miss_mapp/32/369_2.png) [@Miss\_Mapp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Mapp)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-funny-commercials/276018/50 "2004-11-24T13:05:18Z")
I don’t know if it counts as a commercial, but I really like the new promo for “The Essentials” on Turner Classic Movies. A couple is going to the theater hoping to see “Visually Stunning but Ultimately Pointless Sequel.” “It’s sold out,” the girl at the ticket counter deadpans. So, a discussion follows on what will they see instead: “Painfully Unfunny Comedy”? “Star Pairing Totally Lacking in Chemistry”? “Big-Budget Buddy Picture”? “Cop Goes on Rampage to Avenge the Death of His Murdered Partner”? These are the names they use, and a glance at the marquee above the ticket counter shows that they are indeed the names of the films playing. I laughed out loud the first time I saw it. Not just the film names, but the dialog is hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-funny-commercials/276018/51 "2004-11-24T14:13:03Z")
There’s a new one for Target advertising a wake-up call service for their after-Thanksgiving sale. Apparently, the wake-up call is a recording of a celebrity reminding you about the sale. The ads show the celebrities sitting behind desks getting ready to make the calls. In one Darth Vader is sitting behind a name plate that says “Lord Vader”, breathing slowly, the way he does. Next to him is an empty name plate that says “Heidi Klum”. Then, Heidi comes in and sits down. Vader looks over at her, then, his breathing suddenly gets twice as fast. The description might not sound like much, but the ad is hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![down\_by\_law](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/65b543/32.png) [@down\_by\_law](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/down_by_law)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-funny-commercials/276018/52 "2004-11-24T14:26:06Z")
> [@Ellis Dee](#): > > Same here, so I went digging and found a [cite](http://www.adweek.com/aw/creative/best_spots_02/021216_12.jsp) for that ad, apparently titled “Language Tape”:hehheh. I like the current one with Archie reading a bedtime story to Peyton, Eli, and Cooper. Archie’s look of disgust at the end is perfect. yeah, that was it. “your defense is offensive.” that was hilarious. i haven’t seen the bedtime story one. peyton is just blowing up. it’s almost embarrassing watching him play, because the commentators can’t stop gushing about him. sure, he changes plays at the line of scrimmage. he’s waving his hands and even physical moving his line around at times. it’s pretty cool, but i don’t need those guys pointing it out every drive. how many times have i heard “you know, jim, 75 percent of what he’s doing out there is just a sham to confuse the defenders”? ---
**Author:** ![SpartanDC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b2d939/32.png) [@SpartanDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpartanDC)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-funny-commercials/276018/53 "2004-11-24T19:27:13Z")
> [@Max Carnage](#): > > Are those the ones that advertise as: > > ROOMIER > BRAWNIER > VERSATILIER > > If so, I like em too 🙂 My favorite one has to be the one about truck bed abuse that’s modeled after those Sally Struthers “adopt a starving African orphan” ads… except the woman in them is much, _much_ hotter. “For the cost of only three soy lattes a day, you can help end truck bed abuse.” _tear streams down cheek_ “Won’t _you_ help?” Awesome. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-funny-commercials/276018.md?page=2)