# New game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 22, 2000, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633 "2000-03-22T20:01:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/1 "2000-03-22T20:01:00Z")
In the spirit of 1000 Blank White Cards (a Dadaist type of game) with rules found [here](http://www.trouserarousal.net/cards/) I propose we start a game. I will go first. You meet the Log Lady from Twin Peaks in person. The log tells you that you are in danger. +10 pts. HUGS! Sqrl * * * [SqrlCub’s Arizona Adventure](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/005351.html) ---
**Author:** ![Shagrath\_Borgir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@Shagrath\_Borgir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagrath_Borgir)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/2 "2000-03-22T20:15:00Z")
You create a cheesy homemade version of Magic: The Gathering. +20pts 😉 * * * “…the dark side of the mirror always threw our malice back…” ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/3 "2000-03-22T20:18:00Z")
OK, I tend to think I’m a fairly intelligent person, and I attempted to read the rules, but I DON’T GET IT. Please explain how the game is played and I will gleefully play along. I’m all for games created in coffeeshops. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/4 "2000-03-22T20:20:00Z")
You dispell SwimmingRiddle’s confusion and simultaneously convert her to dadaism. +50 points if she participates in the game in the next 10 moves. ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/5 "2000-03-22T20:24:00Z")
Dr Suess he’s our friend, Even though he is subliminally cruel, The next 4 posts must rhyme, it’s the trend. Lose ten points if you don’t follow this rule. ## HUGS! Sqrl [SqrlCub’s Arizona Adventure](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/005351.html) ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/6 "2000-03-22T20:25:00Z")
You are mistaken for Ruth Etting on the crosstown M42 bus. Lose 15 points. ---
**Author:** ![G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c67d28/32.png) [@G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.B.H.Hornswoggler)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/7 "2000-03-22T20:26:00Z")
Oh no! Sausages! Lose a turn and sit in the corner. (You know, this doesn’t work as well without the crudely-drawn pictures.) * * * I’m your only friend I’m not your only friend But I’m a little glowing friend But really I’m not actually your friend But I am ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/8 "2000-03-22T20:37:00Z")
You scratch your head in confusion, and figure, what the hell, you only experiance a virual dadaist card game once. +10 points, plus a bonus +50 because of Arnold ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/9 "2000-03-22T20:55:00Z")
Ebola rears it’s ugly head, and you sitting with a half-eaten plate of monkey tartar, feel decidely ill. -100 pts. * * * A woman needs four animals in her life: A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and an ass to pay for it all. —Zsa Zsa Gabor ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/10 "2000-03-22T20:59:00Z")
While simultaneously upgrading your “Win2000 Eval Version” to the “Win2000 Evil Empire Wins Again Version” and surfing this thread, your computer reboots without warning and you lose everything. -200 points. ---
**Author:** ![Shagrath\_Borgir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@Shagrath\_Borgir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagrath_Borgir)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/11 "2000-03-22T21:00:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Sue Duhnym: > \*\*Ebola rears it’s ugly head, and you sitting with a half-eaten plate of monkey tartar, feel decidely ill. > > -100 pts. > \*\* You flail your arms wildly as your vital organs turn to liquid shit. Everyone else laughs at you. You owe everyone else +50 pts apiece. * * * “…the dark side of the mirror always threw our malice back…” ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/12 "2000-03-22T21:01:00Z")
You back out of this thread quietly, while upping your post count simultaneously. +1 post count * * * I will not torment the emotionally frail. ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/13 "2000-03-22T21:06:00Z")
Concede that your spelling is atrocious, remove **tartare** and **decidedly** from your approved words list. -10pts. * * * A woman needs four animals in her life: A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and an ass to pay for it all. —Zsa Zsa Gabor ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/14 "2000-03-22T21:07:00Z")
You find the Wand of Surrealism inside a cereal box filled with small, orange elephants. + 30 pts. You instruct SwimmingRiddles to reference “Calvinball” from _Calvin and Hobbes_ and combine that with a high school game called Bang! + 20 pts. ---
**Author:** ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/15 "2000-03-22T21:08:00Z")
Fuck Barn * * * [http://www.madpoet.com](http://www.madpoet.com) “I never meant to hurt you,” you said, And buried yourself in lies instead. Next time I would rather be slain, Than forced to bear your mercy again. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/16 "2000-03-22T21:12:00Z")
Your groundbreaking artistic work in the medium of ASCII characters precipitates a cultural revolution in the creative community of New York and Cheyenne, Wyoming. +128 points. * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/17 "2000-03-22T21:12:00Z")
Your New World monkey gets an Old School beat. +50 points for every gallon of banana pudding in your possesion. * * * **Gypsy** : Tom, I don’t get you. **Tom Servo** : Nobody does. I’m the wind, baby. ---
**Author:** ![Germ\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85e7bf/32.png) [@Germ\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Germ_Boy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/18 "2000-03-22T21:17:00Z")
You follow your frantically barking dog to an abandoned mine shaft. You fall in. The dog leaves. 50 pts. if you’re alone at the bottom -50 pts. if swimmingriddles is already down there ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/19 "2000-03-22T21:20:00Z")
You step on swimmingriddles to get back out of the shaft +15 points ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/20 "2000-03-22T21:21:00Z")
You are the unfortunate target of an ill-tempered poster. - 50 points You recognize SwimmingRiddles for the wonder she is, and help her achieve her goal of world domination. - 100 Points [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633.md?page=2)