# New game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 22, 2000, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633 "2000-03-22T20:01:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/21 "2000-03-22T21:27:00Z")
WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!?! * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/22 "2000-03-22T21:29:00Z")
You think of the children. With a side of au juice. - 45 pts. ---
**Author:** ![Germ\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85e7bf/32.png) [@Germ\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Germ_Boy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/23 "2000-03-22T21:30:00Z")
In order to placate her, S.R. gets 10 world domination pts (WDP) from every ill-tempered troll. (Actually quite mellow right now) ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/24 "2000-03-22T21:34:00Z")
You scream, “Come back, Shane!” But he only looks at you and says, “Fuck you, kid.” -50 points and a 50 cent fee for not rewinding the movie ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/25 "2000-03-22T21:37:00Z")
You bang your head against the keyboard when you realize phouka beat you to a ‘Think of the Children’ joke. -10 points. * * * _Eschew Obfuscation_ ---
**Author:** ![quadell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@quadell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quadell)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/26 "2000-03-22T21:40:00Z")
**QUICK!** Think of someone on this board naked. … Were you thinking of the number 7? If so, discard a card at random. ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/27 "2000-03-22T21:46:00Z")
See ChefTroy naked. Win a bonus round in Dallas and another 1000 points. 🙂 Get stuck in a shopping mall fighting with kids for Pokemon cards. -500 points unless you find the gold foil card printed with real gold then +2000 points. HUGS! SQrl * * * [SqrlCub’s Arizona Adventure](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/005351.html) ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/28 "2000-03-22T21:48:00Z")
Despite all your rage, you are still just a rat in a cage. -10 points * * * Now there’s nothing unexpected about the water giving out; “Land” is not a word we have to shout. ---
**Author:** ![bedboy3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@bedboy3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bedboy3)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/29 "2000-03-22T21:49:00Z")
you have a very vivid sexual dream of techchick +500 points and automatically win the game ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/30 "2000-03-22T21:51:00Z")
Sorry, Steve. We looked all over the Oort cloud, but still couldn’t find your collie. +/- 3 parsecs ---
**Author:** ![sloth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d26b3c/32.png) [@sloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sloth)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/31 "2000-03-22T21:51:00Z")
You mosey up to the harpsichord, smiling at the aorta, order a sofa green memory with a twist of lupine estrous while humming “The worm is not my mother, the worm is not my mother” - (-1^0.5) music blossoms ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/32 "2000-03-22T21:53:00Z")
You run out of eggnog and try scarfing shaving cream instead. +50 points if you keep it down. -50 points if you spew, unless you hit John John with it, then you get +250 points. ---
**Author:** ![sloth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d26b3c/32.png) [@sloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sloth)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/33 "2000-03-22T21:56:00Z")
Tripping over conch shells that play logrithm and blues when treated to a filet-o-fish (sans the melancholy), you sculpt mobius cheerios wondering where to buy 3% milk. You realize that you don’t want any points, because it is all pointless. ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/34 "2000-03-22T21:58:00Z")
You wobble, but you don’t fall down +15 ---
**Author:** ![Germ\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85e7bf/32.png) [@Germ\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Germ_Boy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/35 "2000-03-22T22:01:00Z")
LOOK Everybody, Halley’s Comet!! Steal miniscule amounts of points from all. (Is this endeavor as much odd fun as I think it is?) ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/36 "2000-03-22T22:07:00Z")
I slipped you a Tofurkey™ at Thanksgiving. +200 points and an extra turn if you are a vegetarian. Lose a turn while wretching if you eat meat. HUGS! Sqrl * * * [SqrlCub’s Arizona Adventure](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/005351.html) ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/37 "2000-03-22T22:21:00Z")
The mouse picks up the cheese, yanking on the attatched string which turnins the crank, which triggers the boot, which knocks the bowling ball down the ramp, which hits one end of the teeter board forcing it downwards and forcing the other end upwards, in turn which hits the switch on the electric fan creating a breeze that sends the toy sail boat sailing across the bathtub, the pool cue attatched to the toy boat hits the minute hand on the cuckoo clock, turning it to ten o’ clock, The cuckoo bird starts popping in and out of his little door-cuckooing, the steak knife attatched to the cuckoo’s little platform saws through the rope holding the anvil… sadly the cartoon mouse you drew on the blueprints the night before came to life in the night and changed the measurments, so now instead of the anvil hanging over the little painted bullseye where the mouse stands, it hangs over your head. -20 points ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/38 "2000-03-22T22:23:00Z")
.ekatsim a ekam uoy fi .stp 051- .stp 05+ sdrawkcab drac eritne ruoy etirw uoY * * * “I used to think the brain was the most important organ in the body, until I realized who was telling me that.” Emo Phillips ---
**Author:** ![Shagrath\_Borgir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@Shagrath\_Borgir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagrath_Borgir)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/39 "2000-03-22T22:27:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by MadPoet: > **Fuck Barn** Is anything like “Workin’ on a sex farm!”? If you’ve “got your pitchfork”, + 3 very sharp points * * * “…the dark side of the mirror always threw our malice back…” ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/40 "2000-03-22T22:31:00Z")
You break the mirror while trying to read pluto’s post. Seven years bad luck and -75 points. Unless the sunlight reflecting in each shard fills the world with warmth and goodness, then +400 points. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633.md?page=3)