# New game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 22, 2000, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633 "2000-03-22T20:01:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/41 "2000-03-22T22:37:00Z")
You put off something important to create a new thread on the SDMB, all the while whistling “Zip a dee doo dah” to yourself. +25 points. If you also do this while simultaneously eating crackers and viewing “Petite Sheena’s House of Internet Porn”, give yourself a bonus of 200 points. * * * We went right out there and refused to do accoustical versions of the electrical songs that we had refused to record in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/42 "2000-03-22T22:41:00Z")
-80 points, retroactively, to anyone who uses this game to give a free plug to Petite Sheena’s House of Internet Porn. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/43 "2000-03-22T22:41:00Z")
You can’t remember the Groucho quote you were going to post: - gjha pts. Using a non numerical point system: + knsm pts. Contributing to this thread: priceless. Making shameful use of a MasterCard commercial: -m pts. * * * -Dave “Violence is the last refuge of the ignorant.” -I. Asimov ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Naked](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Buck\_Naked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Naked)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/44 "2000-03-22T22:44:00Z")
You teach your old dog a new trick +10pts This causes him to get so excited he relieves himself on the shoes of your boss who you have invited over for dinner -8pts Your wife is a witch and with a tinka-tinka tink she makes him forget it ever happened +20pts. you realize this is just like a lame supercuts commercial and stop your post… * * * I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here. ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/45 "2000-03-22T22:53:00Z")
-1000 points for having your boss walk in while you’re trying to find out what’s so special about Petite Sheena’s House of Internet Porn. +1250 for convincing him it’s legitimate research relating to e-commerce and Enterprise Java Beans. -2500 when he asks you to define “e-commerce”. +3000 if you are able to retrieve an Enterprise Java Bean from Sheena’s Members Only Room of Really Fun Orifices. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/46 "2000-03-22T23:08:00Z")
Bil Keene shuts down your website. -500 points [comicbookguy]"Best. Thread. EVER.[/comicbookguy] * * * Now there’s nothing unexpected about the water giving out; “Land” is not a word we have to shout. ---
**Author:** ![Germ\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85e7bf/32.png) [@Germ\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Germ_Boy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/47 "2000-03-22T23:44:00Z")
Bump up. Zen points ---
**Author:** ![Rodd\_Hill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ab097/32.png) [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/48 "2000-03-23T00:01:00Z")
You discover an incredibly rare, valuable Confederate Army butternut jacket from the Civil War at a garage sale: +125 points; The Confederate is still in the jacket: -250 points. * * * **Launcher may train without warning.** ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/49 "2000-03-23T00:07:00Z")
You play your stereo too loud near a Michigan policeman. -20 points and lose 3 turns while you are forced to listen to Wayne Newton songs. * * * “No,” he replied, and smiled seraphically, as was his wont. ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/50 "2000-03-23T00:15:00Z")
(Following along the lines of alphabetical points) E=MC2 if you can define this and give a positive example you get N Cool points. If you can give a negative example then you can steal the number in the answer tf the equation from another player in cool points. 🙂 - Anyone named with Sqrl or Jazzmine in their name gets another turn. HUGS! Sqrl * * * [SqrlCub’s Arizona Adventure](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/005351.html) ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/51 "2000-03-23T00:18:00Z")
Your 92 year old Grandfather comes out of the closet. +150 Cool points He looks better as a woman. +25 cool points He looks better than you in a dress (both for male and females). - 50 points He even puts Miss America to shame and is voted Queem of the Universe. +800 Queer points, +50 Cool Points, -4000 real points for you, + 2500 points for him. HUGS! Sqrl * * * [SqrlCub’s Arizona Adventure](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/005351.html) ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/52 "2000-03-23T00:36:00Z")
You gag and throw up thinking of your Grandfather in any kind of a sexual context. -200 points. ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/53 "2000-03-23T00:45:00Z")
You post a link to the “Small Wonder” web site. +10 pts ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/54 "2000-03-23T00:55:00Z")
Driving along the highway, you pass a casket factory, an elf playing chimes, and a pair of bikini models washing a car. You then wake up and realize you are a lonely, bitter man who needs to quit eating pizza before bed. -2500 points. You make a shot from beyond the arc. +3 points You have a sneaking suspicion that while typing this post, someone else has already posted -10 points Your post is immediately followed by one from Phaedrus. Your point total will be determined shortly. I am still figuring it out, and when I have the time will post it accordingly. However, I am very busy but I will be sure to thouroughly explain it’s meaning in 6 1000 word posts that aren’t remotely related to the topic at hand. * * * We went right out there and refused to do accoustical versions of the electrical songs that we had refused to record in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/55 "2000-03-23T00:59:00Z")
You hunt down Gilligan and tie his naked body to a post. You then set that post horizontally 1" above a pool of water filled with piranhas. Let gravity do the rest. +1,000,000 points ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/56 "2000-03-23T01:01:00Z")
After a long and exhaustive quest, wherein you have faced many perils, discovered many enchantments, and hung out with some fairly cool elves, you discover the third word that ends with “-gry”. +500 pts. If you attempt to use it in a sentence, -750 ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/57 "2000-03-23T01:03:00Z")
You wonder why so many of the points are displaying as squares. -€ points, and a sharp kick to the rear end. You deliberately include a strange character in the score +Þ points and a blow to the head. You keep including acts of violence in the scores, -« points, and a large man in golf shoes stomps on your baby toe. * * * _Eschew Obfuscation_ ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/58 "2000-03-23T01:21:00Z")
you find a hilarious new site to share +10 points [www.riceboypage.com](http://www.riceboypage.com) (In the spirit of [www.mulletsgalore.com)](http://www.mulletsgalore.com)) * * * Now there’s nothing unexpected about the water giving out; “Land” is not a word we have to shout. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/59 "2000-03-23T01:44:00Z")
You engage in full-contact origami with the the next three posters. +30 points to all participants. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/60 "2000-03-23T02:08:00Z")
## A nerd comes along and says “Hey guys, what’s going on?” and you kill him with an axe. +150 points. You say I’m blind, I say you’re hallucinating. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633.md?page=4)