# New game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 22, 2000, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633 "2000-03-22T20:01:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/81 "2000-03-23T17:00:00Z")
… and +5,000 points for screwing up his pattern and _not_ simulposting. I am just fabulous - gimmie all your points! Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/82 "2000-03-23T17:01:00Z")
Aw, hell, another 1,000 just for being ME! DAMN FLOOD CONTROL! Lose 100 points. Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trout_Mask_Replica)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/83 "2000-03-23T17:04:00Z")
You did put a hat on some ham. +15 points. You realize your life is a shallow empty lie. -10 points. * * * TMR “You should apologize for using up oxygen and other essential supplies that are desperately needed for survival by banana slugs.” – Judith Bandsma ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/84 "2000-03-23T17:27:00Z")
You realize your life is NOT a shallow empty lie. +10 points The medication wears off. -20 points ---
**Author:** ![Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trout_Mask_Replica)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/85 "2000-03-23T17:34:00Z")
You go out to buy more medication from the nice man who stands around on the corner. +10 points. You play a vigorous game of Calvinball with your imaginary tiger friend. +15 1/2 points. * * * TMR “You should apologize for using up oxygen and other essential supplies that are desperately needed for survival by banana slugs.” – Judith Bandsma ---
**Author:** ![Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trout_Mask_Replica)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/86 "2000-03-23T17:36:00Z")
You realize you have just made your 69th post and burst into staccato Beavis-and-Butthead fits of laughter. -50 points. * * * TMR “You should apologize for using up oxygen and other essential supplies that are desperately needed for survival by banana slugs.” – Judith Bandsma ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/87 "2000-03-23T17:51:00Z")
Fifteen aboriginal Latvian Dentists colonize your patio and declare themselves the People’s Republic of Mary’s Feet - .0642 points. You buy a Bose Wave radio because Paul Harvey said to - -65 points EGRETS!!! Look out! EGRETS!!! - 5 points, plus one spin of the magic ploonker Your hair develops its own personality - 1 penalty shot, followed by a red point. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/88 "2000-03-23T17:56:00Z")
Your hair begins to fall out. -50 points You discover Rogane. +100 points ---
**Author:** ![Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trout_Mask_Replica)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/89 "2000-03-24T06:01:00Z")
Months of study and introspection lead you to the realization that groove is, indeed, in the heart. 45 points plus a Bootsy Collins bassline. * * * TMR “You should apologize for using up oxygen and other essential supplies that are desperately needed for survival by banana slugs.” – Judith Bandsma ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/90 "2000-03-24T06:29:00Z")
Get attacked by the Church of Elvis and the Elvis Ministry. -20 points Your friends in the band, Deicide, also get attacked. No points. You thought Deicide was a kick ass death metal band who could kick anyone’s ass. +1 pt. They were actually hospitalized by a christian youth group (somewhat true story). -40 pts. The feeling you get from everyone laughing at you. - 500 pts. * * * [SqrlCub’s Arizona Adventure](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/005351.html) ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/91 "2000-03-24T06:32:00Z")
You tell your single mother that you are going to the prom with the high school king of popularity. +48 pts. Your mom says tauntingly, “They’re all going to laugh at you.” -60 pts. Your name is Carrie. -1000 pts unless of course you burn down the school with your pyrokinetic powers then it would be +800 pts, +950 pts if you come back from the dead to haunt the head girl who always made fun of you in school. HUGS! Sqrl * * * [SqrlCub’s Arizona Adventure](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/005351.html) ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/92 "2000-03-24T06:33:00Z")
You tell your single mother that you are going to the prom with the high school king of popularity. +48 pts. Your mom says tauntingly, “They’re all going to laugh at you.” -60 pts. Your name is Carrie. -1000 pts unless of course you burn down the school with your pyrokinetic powers then it would be +800 pts, +950 pts if you come back from the dead to haunt the head girl who always made fun of you in school. The next three posters get double turns. Damn the infernal flood warning. -100 pts as per Esprix. HUGS! Sqrl * * * [SqrlCub’s Arizona Adventure](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/005351.html) ---
**Author:** ![Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trout_Mask_Replica)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/93 "2000-03-24T06:38:00Z")
Weasels rip your flesh. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. * * * TMR “You should apologize for using up oxygen and other essential supplies that are desperately needed for survival by banana slugs.” – Judith Bandsma ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/94 "2000-03-24T06:49:00Z")
Sqrl dons his mask of weasel protection. Passes Go and gets $200. HUGS! Sqrl * * * [SqrlCub’s Arizona Adventure](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/005351.html) ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/95 "2000-03-24T06:55:00Z")
You wish that you had an electrifying personality. You wake up the next morning, and realize you have an huge, uncontrolable, permanent case of static cling. - 50 pts. You eventually figure out how to use the static as a primitive tv remote control. +15 pts. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/96 "2000-03-23T19:01:00Z")
You answer the door and it’s the UPS man. +20 excitement points He just wants to leave a package for your neighbor. -25 sucker points * * * Now there’s nothing unexpected about the water giving out; “Land” is not a word we have to shout. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/97 "2000-03-23T19:03:00Z")
Log on from work and don’t get caught by the boss: +500 pts. Spend more time here than you should, forcing you to stay late to finish your work: -1,000 pts. * * * “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank ---
**Author:** ![quadell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@quadell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quadell)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/98 "2000-03-23T19:05:00Z")
llappenÖ jnoh ``` ¡s+u!od 08 a^!a)aj ``` 'umop-ap!sdn +sod jnoh a+!jm noh ---
**Author:** ![quadell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@quadell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quadell)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/99 "2000-03-23T19:07:00Z")
llappenÖ jnoh ``` ¡s+u!od 08 a^!a)aj ``` 'umop-ap!sdn +sod jnoh a+!jm noh ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/100 "2000-03-23T19:10:00Z")
Log on from work and don’t get caught by the boss: +500 pts. Spend more time here than you should, forcing you to stay late to finish your work: -1,000 pts. * * * “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633.md?page=6)