# New game

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [March 22, 2000, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633 "2000-03-22T20:01:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 6

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![quadell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@quadell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quadell)\
**Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/101 "2000-03-23T19:19:00Z")

</div>

llappenÖ jnoh

```
          ¡s+u!od 08 a^!a)aj

```

'umop-ap!sdn +sod jnoh a+!jm noh

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![quadell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@quadell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quadell)\
**Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/102 "2000-03-23T19:22:00Z")

</div>

llappenÖ jnoh

```
          ¡s+u!od 08 a^!a)aj

```

'umop-ap!sdn +sod jnoh a+!jm noh

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![quadell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@quadell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quadell)\
**Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/103 "2000-03-23T19:24:00Z")

</div>

llappenÖ jnoh

```
          ¡s+u!od 08 a^!a)aj

```

'umop-ap!sdn +sod jnoh a+!jm noh

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![quadell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@quadell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quadell)\
**Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/104 "2000-03-23T19:26:00Z")

</div>

llappenÖ jnoh

```
          ¡s+u!od 08 a^!a)aj

```

'umop-ap!sdn +sod jnoh a+!jm noh

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![quadell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@quadell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quadell)\
**Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/105 "2000-03-23T19:29:00Z")

</div>

llappenÖ jnoh

¡s+u!od 08 a^!a)aj  
'umop-ap!sdn +sod jnoh a+!jm noh

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![quadell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@quadell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quadell)\
**Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/106 "2000-03-23T19:32:00Z")

</div>

llappenÖ jnoh

¡s+u!od 08 a^!a)aj  
'umop-ap!sdn +sod jnoh a+!jm noh

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![quadell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@quadell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quadell)\
**Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/107 "2000-03-23T19:39:00Z")

</div>

llappenÖ jnoh

¡s+u!od 08 a^!a)aj  
'umop-ap!sdn +sod jnoh a+!jm noh

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![quadell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@quadell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quadell)\
**Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/108 "2000-03-23T19:42:00Z")

</div>

llappenÖ jnoh

¡s+u!od 08 a^!a)aj  
'umop-ap!sdn +sod jnoh a+!jm noh

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![quadell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@quadell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quadell)\
**Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/109 "2000-03-23T19:44:00Z")

</div>

llappenÖ jnoh

¡s+u!od 08 a^!a)aj  
'umop-ap!sdn +sod jnoh a+!jm noh

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\
**Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/110 "2000-03-23T23:23:00Z")

</div>

You scream when you see Sqrl in his mask and give your neighbor a heart-attack. -250pts. His wife hated him anyway. +300pts.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\
**Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/111 "2000-03-23T23:24:00Z")

</div>

After posting your post and seeing that the flood control didn’t work on quadell, you steal all his points. +125 pts. And his pocket lint +1000pts

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![dcnewsman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dcnewsman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dcnewsman)\
**Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/112 "2000-03-23T23:31:00Z")

</div>

You come home, expecting to eat a piece of leftover cheesecake from the previous night only to find your significant other at the WHOLE thing. They lose 1000 pts.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\
**Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/113 "2000-03-23T23:32:00Z")

</div>

You get a wild hair, and decide to try a new beverage. You get the blender, and mix Niquil, Bacardi, milk, ice cream (any flavor), some brownies with “11 secret herbs and spices”, and some chocolate syrup. +15 pts, + 25 if you can keep it down.

Feeling woozy, you sit in front of the TV, and there is a Star Trek Marathon on. After the eigth hour, you see God speaking to you through Shatner. He/She/It/They tell you the Meaning Of Life. You write it down, but the next day, you have no idea what you’ve written. You submit it your neighbor (The lingustics professor), and he tells you that it is part Sanscrit, part Aremeic, part Chinese, and part binary. He spends a week translating it, and goes insane. + 276,890,657 pts.

* * *

You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\
**Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/114 "2000-03-23T23:41:00Z")

</div>

You find your virginity under the couch cushions. + 100 points.

You post upside-down eight or more times. - 200 points, and become someone’s quadell.

You single-handedly prevent a guy in a clown suit from attacking your friend’s five-year-old niece with a lemon meringue pie. + 10 points.

100 extra points if the pie concealed a switchblade.

You get hired as a file clerk by the Illuminati, then quit in disgust on your first day when you realize that despite their sinister trappings, they are really an overpriced furniture upholstery manufacturer. Lose 1 turn.

You get rhythm. + 0 points, because who can ask for anything more?

You eat a piece of pi. - 3.14159265358979… points.

You drink eight Pepsis, then burp 7-Up. - 5 + 3i points.

Somebody drops your name. Fortunately, you catch it before it hits the floor and breaks. + 1000 points.

* * *

Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\
**Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/115 "2000-03-23T23:44:00Z")

</div>

You play with your Zippo at work and set your desk on fire. -25 pts.

You set your annoying co-worker’s desk on fire. +50 pts.

You set your co-worker on fire. +300 pts.

An extra 150 pts. if you can get your boss to say, “He shoulda stopped, dropped and rolled!”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\
**Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/116 "2000-03-23T23:48:00Z")

</div>

Add 50 points if you had spinach salad for lunch today.

Subtract 150 if you still have spinach stuck in your teeth.

Double your points if you make it all the way home with the spinach still stuck and SO laughs him/herself silly over it.

Lose all your points if you dredge up some old embarassing moment from your SO’s past in retaliation.

+500 if you just kill your SO instead.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![sorrel554](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@sorrel554](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sorrel554)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/117 "2000-03-24T00:02:00Z")

</div>

Something on the board prompts you to do the Happy Dance. + 10 points.

Something on the board prompts you to do the Hampster Dance. - 10 points, plus having that song in your head for the rest of the day.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_Hey_Paula)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/118 "2000-03-24T00:15:00Z")

</div>

When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true. +105 points.

It’s that dream where you come to work wearing nothing but your pink satin toe shoes. -65 points unless you really own pink satin toe shoes, then +75 points.

* * *

“The analyst went barking up the wrong tree, of course. I never should have mentioned unicorns to a Freudian.” – Dottie (“Jumpers” by Tom Stoppard)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![TheUnforgiven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TheUnforgiven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheUnforgiven)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/119 "2000-03-24T00:22:00Z")

</div>

You nod your head slowly with a big smile on your face while you look at the pink satin toe shoes that just got you +75 points.  
Jump up and realize you have a cape that matches those shoes! +100 points.

+5 points if you question your masculinity.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-game/15633/120 "2000-03-24T00:29:00Z")

</div>

You realise that baseball season begins in a week and soon Ben Grieve will arrive in town and you can start stalking him again.

0 points because you are a pathetic loser with no chance in the first place.

-100 points because your husband bought season tickets to the rival team.

* * *

Now there’s nothing unexpected about the water giving out; “Land” is not a word we have to shout.

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