# New Generation Doper Brat Pack - Auditions open. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 28, 2004, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523 "2004-05-28T15:21:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523/81 "2004-05-31T12:05:17Z")
**elfkin477** : “Slash” fiction, huh? I’m starting to think that typo wasn’t really a typo. Anyways I did like your rant [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=258183) > [@](#): > > How can someone with a college degree be too fucking stupid to realize that the person to their right is then the one across from them?! And why the hell does this need to be explained to him three times?! > > For fuck’s sake, Man, Did you get your degree out of a monkey’s ass? This isn’t rocket science! She’s in! **Jimmy Chitwood** : Well you’ve got a personal recommendation from fellow **Brat** , **Hal B** but no whistle? Hmmmmm… Are you sure you don’t have that whistle? It sounded awfully nice…Oh, in! ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523/82 "2004-05-31T22:32:51Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > Does that mean we now refer to our harem leader as **hardless**? 😉 Hardly. :dubious: And what do you mean, you still have the furby in the box? :mad: It will _die_without love, man! ☹ (plus you can do cool stuff to it with remote controls!) 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523/83 "2004-05-31T23:14:58Z")
> [@harmless](#): > > It will _die_without love, man! ☹ Oh, now that’s just silly, **harmless**. Everyone knows Furbies are already dead when you buy them! They’re just Gremlin corpses. It’s when you open the box that the small capsule of Secret Government Surplus Zombie Gas is released and they come back to life (hmmm…have you been huffing Furby boxes?). 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Kate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/aca169/32.png) [@Lady\_Kate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Kate)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523/84 "2004-06-01T00:36:23Z")
Woo Hoo! I’m in! Now I gotta try out the new sig… ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Kate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/aca169/32.png) [@Lady\_Kate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Kate)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523/85 "2004-06-01T00:37:45Z")
Doh! :wally ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523/86 "2004-06-01T02:13:06Z")
…grumble grumble grumble…dang freakin kids…grumble grumble…think they can come in here and take over from us old-timers just because they formed some stupid club…grumble grumble… :smack: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523/87 "2004-06-01T02:52:09Z")
:Sidles up to microphone: Are auditions still open?.. I have done many things in my life. I have hunted asps in Asia, lions in Africa and sharks off the Australian coast. I have swum the English channel in winter and journeyed across the Sahara without food, water or shoes. I have seen the Wailing Wall, the Rosetta stone, and the Hope diamond. I once found the Garden of Eden in the Middle East, but have since forgotten the location. I have written treatises on politics, religion and world peace. I once read the unabridged _Les Miserables_ in a day, compiled a list of errata, and sent it to the publisher for correction. I have rejected commissions from the New York Times, the Washington Post and Life magazine to pursue my own interests. I have spoken at commencement ceremonies at Oxford. I have dived for pearls and given them to the homeless. I have battled malaria, smallpox, bubonic plague and polio all at once, and triumphed. I once recorded with the Rolling Stones, but their talents underwhelmed me. I won the lottery and buried my winnings in the Marianas Trench. I breed Komodo dragons as pets. I may have been on the grassy knoll, and I am definitely Don McLean’s jester. I have won long-distance races in Kenya, endurance contests in north Russia and surfing competitions in Maui. Several African tribes believe I am the devil; I do not dissuade them. Several Vatican officials believe I am a prophet; I use this to my advantage. I have piloted a gondola through the canals of Venice, and toured the vineyards of France. I have been an ambassador to far too many countries to count. In my spare time I translate classic literature into braille. I have spear-fished in Lake Victoria, hunted elephants in Africa with only a knife, and sucked the venom of adders from my own wounds. I have studied transcendental meditation in Tibet. I have been through typhoons in India, earthquakes in Japan, volcanic eruptions in Indonesia, and locust plagues in Egypt. I have been guest to kings, and captive of the same. I have survived trips to the gallows and imprisonment in the Black Hole of Calcutta, where I amused myself by solving calculus equations using only my fingers and toes. I have undergone two successful hemispherectomies, and performed a dozen times as many at my hospital in Fiji. I have carved my initials in the Taj Mahal for posterity. I found a previously-unknown da Vinci sketch, and made some improvements. I am a direct descendant of Socrates. I have worked in coal mines and on skyscrapers, for princes and for dictators. I have passed myself off as a member of the Black Panthers and the Ku Klux Klan. My vision is 20/10. I have personally verified Dante Alighieri’s theories, and exploited flaws in several fundamental physics theorems in my spare time. I have started the ultra-popular (in my own mind) [Movie Game](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=249945), and have ripped off famous [College Essay](http://www.laughnet.net/archive/college/essay.htm) piece. Am I in? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523/88 "2004-06-01T03:32:29Z")
Sorry, overqualified. Unless, of course, none of that was true. In that case, you’d be a consummate bullshitter, and most certainly have my vote. Hell, I thought you were already in. If you ask me, _IHKATAM_ was like our own _Breakfast Club_, and all major participants should be included by default. ---
**Author:** ![kittenlm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ce7236/32.png) [@kittenlm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenlm)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523/89 "2004-06-01T03:57:04Z")
> [@Nightwatch Trailer](#): > > Am I in? 😃 No, no, no. You didn’t use the word fungus once in that speech. Sheesh. :wally 😃 ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523/90 "2004-06-01T10:10:16Z")
Yes, the fungus is important. 😃 You’ve got a good idea there **Hal** but we can’t just let everyone from the thread in so… anyone who has more than 3 threads in [IHKATAM](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=250465) is an official **Brat** Let’s see: **Nightwatch Trailer** : more than 3 (Heck if you want to read through 14 pages to find the exact number be my guest) IN! ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523/91 "2004-06-01T10:12:42Z")
Actually 3 is pretty small, and I can’t really manage counting out all of the posts to find a better number so **Nightwatch** is still in but the rest of you will have to come to me. Phew. Who have thought it would be sooo exhausting. Iced tea anyone? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523/92 "2004-06-01T14:51:49Z")
This is the happiest day of my life. Let’s try out my first ever sig… ---
**Author:** ![kittenlm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ce7236/32.png) [@kittenlm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenlm)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523/93 "2004-06-01T22:25:51Z")
> [@Nightwatch Trailer](#): > > This is the happiest day of my life. > Let’s try out my first ever sig… Ya know…you really should have rephrased that, just to make me happy. That’s what it’s all about ya know…making kitten happy. 😛 It should have read like this: This is the happiest, fungus day of my life. etc, etc. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523/94 "2004-06-02T11:13:45Z")
So we’ve got: **nocturnal\_tick** : The leader of the pack, a crafty charmer for sure. 🆒😃 **BiblioCat** : She may not like white chocolate but she’s one feisty feline. **Chastain86** : When you need to smuggle beer into movies or eat raw fish off fine, naked ladies, he’s your doper. **Hal Briston** and **kittenlm** : A regular Bonnie and Clyde, this couple got it going on. **harmless** : Don’t let the name fool you, this undead momma’s got a whole lotta bite under that lipstick. **misstee** : Got the smile that’ll melt your heart, for sure. This woman’s got her finger on the pulse. **Really Not All That Bright** : What he ain’t got up there, he makes up for with sheer sophistication, and loudness. **Rufus Xavier** : If you need a thread taking down a couple of notches, he’s the one to call. **wolf\_meister** : A doper rebel, who’s run in with the Mods ain’t stopping his bratty side. **Hot Buttered Toast** : A feisty young’un with a mature talk, and a no-holds-barred walk. **Ghanima** : The second rebel of the Pack. She’s gotta go what she gotta do. **mlerose** : This girl may sounds rosy, but she talks down and dirty just like the rest of us. **Claurican** : He’s up for drinking young and schoolboy fights, a good Saturday night in my book. **Lady Kate** : She may not have much behind her belt but she can enjoy that sweet, sweet vengence better than anyone else. **Jackelope** : He doesn’t like his beer warm and he’ll make sure you know about it. **elfkin477** : A fiery redhead with a passion for Freudian slips and possible “slash” fiction. **Jimmy Chitwood** : He may not have a whistle but **Hal** ’s got his back. **Nightwatch Trailer** : He could fill a truck with the warm, brown stuff but he’s can do it with class. And without fungus. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523/95 "2004-06-02T12:44:26Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > So we’ve got: > > **nocturnal\_tick** : The leader of the pack, a crafty charmer for sure. 🆒😃 What about me? You said me before. I even modified my sig. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523/96 "2004-06-02T12:55:18Z")
Sorry **CG**. I knew I would forget someone. Does this make up for it: And last but certainly not least, our very own… CandidGamera He’s sharp, he’s witty, he’s got comics!!! Forgive me, :rolleyes: (that’s not sarcastic, thems puppy dog eyes) ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523/97 "2004-06-02T13:01:28Z")
It’ll do. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mlerose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@mlerose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlerose)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523/98 "2004-06-02T14:30:58Z")
Excellent. _burp_ ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523/99 "2004-06-02T15:44:35Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > Actually 3 is pretty small, and I can’t really manage counting out all of the posts to find a better number so **Nightwatch** is still in but the rest of you will have to come to me. In [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=4881829#post4881829) , I showed the SDMB exactly how much time I have on my hands. I only counted those who had 14 posts or more. Still, if we use 14 posts to IHKATAM as a minimum, then the following also qualify for the brat pack (with cherry-picked recent quotes from the boards): Lando Griffin - “You obviously don’t seem to notice that the majority of this board thinks you a deranged asshat.” Ponder Stibbons - "You know what would make those old silent movies better? Get rid of that boring old piano music and replace it with some serious heavy metal!! " TellMeI’mNotCrazy - “Gonna tie brakelights to people’s asses soon.” so there you have it. Oh, and harmless? Thanks for the photo! If I wasn’t already in love, I would be now! ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523/100 "2004-06-02T15:45:49Z")
Ahem, sorry, I don’t have anything prepaired, but I’d like to thank the Academy, Og, of course Nocturnal Tick, the redheads of the world, the Amazing Mr. Lifto, and the rest of my, _sniff_ fellow Brat Packers. Let the Games Begin! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-generation-doper-brat-pack-auditions-open/247523.md?page=6)