# New guy saying Hi! & reporting on latest adventure of the Caped Crusader **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 18, 2005, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313 "2005-01-18T04:48:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313/1 "2005-01-18T04:48:45Z")
Hello to all! I’ve only been around here for about 24 hours but, I felt the need to share this rather odd item I saw in my local newspaper. Under the headline “‘Vengeance’ swipes cake, eats it, too” the Chicago Sun-Times had a small blurb concerning an odd occurence at a children’s birthday party in suburban Oak Forest. Apparently a gentleman described as being 6’ tall and weighing 275 pounds burst into the home where the party was in progress. When the homeowner confronted him and asked who he was he was heard to reply,“I am vengence. I am the knight. I am Batman.” At this point he went to the kitchen, cut a piece of cake for himself, removed himself to the living room and ate it. When the understandibly distressed homeowner continued to question what he was doing there, the gentleman exited the premises and drove away in a red 1988 Cadillac. So this brings 2 questions to my mind: 1. When did millionaire Bruce Wayne fall on such hard times? and, 1. Can anyone out there help me develop my finding-free-cake sense? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313/2 "2005-01-18T04:59:51Z")
I think you have to be bitten by a radioactive cake before that sense develops. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313/3 "2005-01-18T05:04:28Z")
Welcome, **Kolak of Twilo**! 🙂 Actually, wouldn’t any sweet pastry do, especially with the more radioactive ones? I think this may be one reason for the popularity of “Tim Hortons” donus shops. ---
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313/4 "2005-01-18T05:08:06Z")
Oh. And bearded. I forgot to mention it said he was bearded. For some reason that seemed important. ---
**Author:** ![Keapon\_Laffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e274bd/32.png) [@Keapon\_Laffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keapon_Laffin)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313/5 "2005-01-18T05:28:12Z")
Kolak of Twilo… Kolak of Twilo… theres a naughty anagram here, I just know it… 😛 Welcome! Now, the best way I’ve found to earn a free cake, is to burst into a bakery, and yell “Food Inspectors!”. Give them a second to absorb this, then point to the kitchen behind and scream “Is that a rat!?” When their backs are turned, grab what you want and dash out. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313/6 "2005-01-18T06:18:17Z")
Welcome to the madhouse **Kolak of Twilo**. The greeters will be here shortly to provide you with your free introductory goat and calamaris. ---
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313/7 "2005-01-18T06:36:20Z")
Cake? Any cake? ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313/8 "2005-01-18T06:37:43Z")
Maybe. But you **really** don’t want to know what’s in it. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313/9 "2005-01-18T12:50:28Z")
Yeah – goats, calamari, we’ve got to reconfigure this procedure and add some cake. What’s a haz – er, welcome – ritual without tooth-enamel-destroying empty calories? Maybe we could get the calamari to jump out of the cake… Hm… In the meantime, **Kolak of Twilo** (and I also am anagramming like a son of a bitch) – welcome – have a seat over here – go ahead and put on this shower cap and relax, we’ll be right with you. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313/10 "2005-01-18T12:53:33Z")
“Walk fool it ok” – sounds like Mr. T dubbing a martial arts film. ---
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313/11 "2005-01-18T16:43:29Z")
(quietly sitting in corner wearing shower cap waiting and wishing he had thumbs to twiddle.) ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313/12 "2005-01-18T18:28:49Z")
> [@Keapon Laffin](#): > > Welcome! > Now, the best way I’ve found to earn a free cake, is to burst into a bakery, and yell “Food Inspectors!”. Give them a second to absorb this, then point to the kitchen behind and scream “Is that a rat!?” > > When their backs are turned, grab what you want and dash out. > 😃 Any pilfering of food, whether stealthy or comedic in nature, MUST be accompanied by a “YOINK!” sound effect. And because it had to be said… When come back, bring cake. ---
**Author:** ![Caught\_Work](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/919ad9/32.png) [@Caught\_Work](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caught_Work)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313/13 "2005-01-18T23:51:44Z")
> [@Keapon Laffin](#): > > Kolak of Twilo… Kolak of Twilo… theres a naughty anagram here, I just know it… > 😛 [http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/anagram.cgi?anagram=Kolak+of+Twilo](http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/anagram.cgi?anagram=Kolak+of+Twilo) Can’t see one 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313/14 "2005-01-19T00:05:26Z")
> [@Keapon Laffin](#): > > Kolak of Twilo… Kolak of Twilo… theres a naughty anagram here, I just know it… Hey, sometimes you have to **make room** for a [simpler explanation](http://www.tvacres.com/aliens_twilo-ites.htm)… 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313/15 "2005-01-19T00:26:11Z")
If I could **Sternvogel** , you’d get a big thumbs up for figuring that out. How about a nice big bag of walnuts? I was saving them for the goat, but since he’s not here yet… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313/16 "2005-01-19T00:50:48Z")
> [@Kolak of Twilo](#): > > I was saving them for the goat, but since he’s not here yet… 😃 I hate to tell you this, but he’s not coming. You’ll understand when you’re older. ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313/17 "2005-01-19T03:51:43Z")
Funny, just this weekend I saw an old episode of _Batman: the Animated Series_ in which the Joker, disguised as a hired party clown, planted a bomb in a kid’s birthday cake. Bruce Wayne managed to save the partygoers by “accidentally” knocking the cake into the swimming pool just before the bomb went off. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313/18 "2005-01-19T15:09:47Z")
If there isn’t any crime in the neighborhood, you might as well fight cake. What else would he do, motivational seminars? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313/19 "2005-01-19T23:07:45Z")
The cake is in the _pool_? Great. You do NOT want to know what’s at the bottom of the pool. Trust me. I _can_ say that it likes cake, though. [sub]Actually, any almost organic substance (living, once-living, or other) will do.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313/20 "2005-01-19T23:24:07Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > The cake is in the _pool_? Great. > > [/sub] You know, I just got that recipe again after you left it out in the rain. If you keep this up, I’m not making you any more damn cake! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-guy-saying-hi-reporting-on-latest-adventure-of-the-caped-crusader/285313.md?page=2)