# New Here **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 18, 2014, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-here/707548 "2014-12-18T03:16:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-here/707548/21 "2014-12-18T22:05:40Z")
Welcome to the Board! You will notice all exits have been locked and secured for your safety and comfort. Never use Regards as a closing as **Shodan** will show up and demand $5/use. He knows where you live, don’t ask how and you’ll be fine. Once you’re settled in , have a look at the sticky on Spoilers as they can be useful (and in some cases required) when you post, especially in the Cafe Society. Also, the squid would like to remind people not to feed the goat ice scream as the squid can’t sleep when you do… You especially, **Hopeful Crow** … ---
**Author:** ![Hopeful\_Crow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/da6949/32.png) [@Hopeful\_Crow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hopeful_Crow)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-here/707548/22 "2014-12-19T18:50:05Z")
My apologies to the squid but how could I have known that ice scream triggers something in the goat’s brain that turns him into the Tasmanian Devil.\* I helped clean up what was left of the furniture in the rec room (Heh, heh, _wreck_ room) and the mess in the hall and, OK, let’s not mention the kitchen. But I did the majority, uh, some, well, maybe a bit of the work, didn’t I? Seriously, you let a goat eat ice scream one or four times and people start looking at you askance. Maybe it’s because you are jealous. Yeah! Me and the goat get along just fine! Just us and our ice scream and sometimes that Thing in the sub-basement but just sometimes because she doesn’t really care for ice scream. But she does like her some John Denver turned up to 10. The squid never says anything about being woken up by _that,_ does he! Yeah! Rocky Mountain High, baby! And I hadn’t mentioned it before, **Cobast,** but welcome to the big, happy and sometimes weird family! \*It’s a good thing the goat doesn’t have hands or I think he’d be mainlining the stuff. There are many things I’ll do for friendship but helping him do that is not one of them, you can rest assured! You see, I have scruples. I may misplace them sometimes but they’re usually on me somewhere. Besides I’m squeamish about needles. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-here/707548/23 "2014-12-19T19:03:58Z")
Don’t ask a question and then never return to your thread. That is a HUGE mistake here! ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-here/707548/24 "2014-12-19T19:34:15Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > - . . . - Use preview > . . . > - Read the thread before you respond. . . . Combine those two. That is, use preview then scroll down to see what has been added to the thread while you were typing. Sometimes your point will have already been made and sometimes you’ll find another comment that you want to include a reply to. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-here/707548/25 "2014-12-19T19:55:22Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Welcome to our playground! Along with “Don’t be a jerk,” I’d say it’s good form to avoid resurrecting ancient threads. Many times, the participants are long gone, so addressing them is pretty much pointless. But if you find an old thread that you think merits more discussion, start a new thread and reference the old one. [It mostly depends on the forum.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7697100&postcount=4) Some forums are more lenient about “zombie” posts than others. [QUOTE=C K Dexter Haven] In General Questions, Comments on Cecil’s Columns, Comments on Staff Reports, and Cafe Society, it is acceptable to revive an old thread if you have some substantive comment to add. [/QUOTE] As a rule of thumb, if a thread is more than three months old and/or has a lot of posters with “BANNED” under their names, it’s usually better to start a new thread. Also, if you quote another poster, and change their words, that’s a big No-No. Text in a quote box is sacrosanct. You can snip parts of a quote for brevity or you may bold certain words for emphasis, but the words you quote must be exactly the ones that were written. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-here/707548/26 "2014-12-19T20:51:17Z")
Don’t talk to the guy in the corner. Seriously - just don’t. Trust me. ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-here/707548/27 "2014-12-19T21:23:58Z")
Bacon? Narwhals? No, that’s redditt. ---
**Author:** ![BobArrgh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobarrgh/32/2881_2.png) [@BobArrgh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobArrgh)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2014, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-here/707548/28 "2014-12-20T04:21:16Z")
[ul] [li]Don’t overshare, especially if people keep telling you that you shouldn’t overshare.[/li][li]Don’t post a wall-of-text without paragraph breaks.[/li][li]Say “Hi” to Opal if you are making a list.[/li][li]English-as-a-second language is fine; however, if you know English but still insist on writing long posts without regard to common punctuation and spelling standards, expect to receive a metric crap-ton of grief. (Nobudy wants 2 red stuff th@ looks like ur cat is lrning to txt, amiright?)[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2014, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-here/707548/29 "2014-12-20T15:02:05Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Also, if you quote another poster, and change their words, that’s a big No-No. Text in a quote box is sacrosanct (Oooh, big word). You can snip parts or you may **bold certain words** for emphasis, but the words you quote must be ecxadctly the ones that were written. Examples of what you can and can’t do. Also, some folks like to play tricks on newbies, here a [link](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=743850) to avoid such nonsense. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2014, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-here/707548/30 "2014-12-20T23:10:13Z")
> [@racer72](#): > > Examples of what you can and can’t do. Also, some folks like to play tricks on newbies, here a [link](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=743850) to avoid such nonsense. You changed the quote (you added words he didn’t say). This is against the rules, so don’t do it again. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-here/707548/31 "2014-12-31T20:15:36Z")
Hi, I’m Eutychus, rush chairman. Damn glad to meet you! ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-here/707548/32 "2014-12-31T21:25:46Z")
I am largely considered the funniest, handsomest, wisest poster. If you post things that don’t go along with this, other posters will think you are slow or have bad taste and shun you. I ask them not to do this but I can’t always control my followers. ---
**Author:** ![Grotonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c2a13f/32.png) [@Grotonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grotonian)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2015, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-here/707548/33 "2015-01-02T04:40:58Z")
I started my first thread 2 days ago: > **[Drunken Disorderly versus Public Intoxication](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=744933)** > > I’ve always assumed citations or arrests for “Drunken Disorderly” and “Public Intoxication” were pretty self-explanatory, but I talked to a cop buddy not long ago and he told me they’re essentially the same. That is, no one gets cited for Public... Some observations: 1) Moderators act rudely and arbitrarily 2) Posters feel entitled to a citation if they demand one 3) It’s forbidden to insult a fellow poster, but you can get around that by insulting an entire group (see my attack on Canada, it was really only directed at one crazy chick from Newfoundland) 4) This is obviously a written forum, so grammar, diction, and clarity count 5) Some people do not take being contradicted well. Like, at all. (see the crazy Newfoundland chick in my link) 6) Most posters appear to be really good sports, and can provide excellent information 7) The terms “ninjaed” and “whooshed” mean something, but I don’t know what [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-here/707548.md?page=1)