# New member reporting for duty **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 2, 2017, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789 "2017-10-02T03:01:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2017, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/41 "2017-10-03T21:31:36Z")
**AHunter3** wins the thread with the profligate use of spoiler boxes. Congrats and here is a nice cuppa tea and a biscuit. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/42 "2017-10-04T00:47:52Z")
Welcome to The Dope, from an old-timer !! Perhaps a bit of a Seussian welcome then, eh? There are no squids There are no goats We’ve no room for them in the boats. We’re led by the Gormless Weenie Whose vast knowledge sure ain’t teeny 😃 In September we had hope For brand-new members on The Dope (Real ones, not trolling as the Pope ! ) Who bring us fresh food not just tropes Welcome once, Welcome twice, Welcome here we’re mostly nice. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/43 "2017-10-04T00:54:58Z")
> [@lazykitten](#): > > Just wanted to introduce myself. My self-appointed therapist friend suggested(quite aggressively) that I needed to “go out and socialize, you antisocial pessimist.” So I promised I’d go out and meet new people and make nice, and here I am in my backyard introducing myself. Good compromise, yeah? I’m not sure he/she meant you should join an antisocial pessimist support group, especially one where your antisocial pessimism will be supported and encouraged. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/44 "2017-10-04T00:57:40Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > How will ’ lazykitten’ know what profanity is necessary or unnecessary! She will need some kinda game plan. Are you setting her up for failure? Jeez’ am I an alarmist or what? Damn! My brain hurts! Silly girl! All profanity is necessary, and required in The Pit. **lazykitten** , you may want to avoid The BBQ Pit for now. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/45 "2017-10-04T02:57:52Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > … > **lazykitten** , you may want to avoid The BBQ Pit for now. :eek: I was here for years before I even peeked in there. Now I almost never go anywhere else. I guess I’ve been corrupted. Oh well. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/46 "2017-10-04T03:00:46Z")
We’re contagious, dear. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/47 "2017-10-04T03:41:59Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > We’re contagious, dear. Dat’s the troof. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/48 "2017-10-04T12:55:11Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > Dat’s the troof. The tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth. ---
**Author:** ![lazykitten](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/51bf81/32.png) [@lazykitten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lazykitten)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/49 "2017-10-05T00:30:33Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > I’m not sure he/she meant you should join an antisocial pessimist support group, especially one where your antisocial pessimism will be supported and encouraged. What could go wrong? \>.\> Sent from my SM-J700T using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![Weisshund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba8739/32.png) [@Weisshund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weisshund)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/50 "2017-10-05T02:45:24Z")
[Cookies?](https://i.imgflip.com/7azt1.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/51 "2017-10-05T03:14:35Z")
Yum, I like cookies! ---
**Author:** ![lazykitten](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/51bf81/32.png) [@lazykitten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lazykitten)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/52 "2017-10-05T13:51:48Z")
Cookies O.O Sent from my SM-J700T using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/53 "2017-10-05T15:27:53Z")
Someone mention cookies? :: hopeful look :: ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/54 "2017-10-05T22:27:22Z")
[Cookies](http://orteil.dashnet.org/cookieclicker/). Many, Many cookies. Be warned , the grannies are cantankerous… ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/55 "2017-10-05T23:59:26Z")
Wait a minute…the cookies are cleared every time you sign out! ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2017, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/56 "2017-10-06T00:02:43Z")
Choc.chip please ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2017, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/57 "2017-10-06T03:16:52Z")
**lazykitten** , you’ve met us and you’re still here? Put your parents on the line and they’ll learn you better. ---
**Author:** ![lazykitten](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/51bf81/32.png) [@lazykitten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lazykitten)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2017, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/58 "2017-10-06T20:02:27Z")
No thank you, I’d rather keep my sanity ^-^ Or rather, what’s left of it. Sent from my SM-J700T using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2017, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/59 "2017-10-06T20:07:57Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Wait a minute…the cookies are cleared every time you sign out! So don’t sign out… Seems pretty obvious. I’m eating one of [these](https://www.walmart.ca/en/ip/purity-oatmeal-family-cookies/6000188763485) as I type.😛 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2017, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/60 "2017-10-06T20:37:53Z")
> [@lazykitten](#): > > No thank you, I’d rather keep my sanity ^-^ > Or rather, what’s left of it. You have some left? I ran out years ago, and I’ve been faking it using bungee cords, duct tape, and a metric crapload of emoji. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789.md?page=4)