# New member reporting for duty **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 2, 2017, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789 "2017-10-02T03:01:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2017, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/61 "2017-10-06T21:36:29Z")
> [@swampspruce](#): > > So don’t sign out… Seems pretty obvious. I’m eating one of [these](https://www.walmart.ca/en/ip/purity-oatmeal-family-cookies/6000188763485) as I type.😛 Wow. “Purity Oatmeal Family Cookies.” That is an interesting name. Do you have to be pure to eat them? If you try to eat one while smoking a cigarette or drinking an alcoholic beverage, will your pants spontaneously combust? I’m going to make a point of going to Wal-Mart and getting some. I’m positive I’m not pure enough, but I’m going to take a chance. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2017, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/62 "2017-10-06T22:32:35Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Wow. “Purity Oatmeal Family Cookies.” That is an interesting name. Do you have to be pure to eat them? If you try to eat one while smoking a cigarette or drinking an alcoholic beverage, will your pants spontaneously combust? I’m going to make a point of going to Wal-Mart and getting some. I’m positive I’m not pure enough, but I’m going to take a chance. While many people think that the name refers to ‘cultural’ purity (the proposal that the current world is ‘impure’, and can only be redeemed by a return to an imagined previous state of purity), the name is actully contemporaneous with the late nineteenth century fad for cleanliness-related names. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/63 "2017-10-07T00:31:33Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > While many people think that the name refers to ‘cultural’ purity (the proposal that the current world is ‘impure’, and can only be redeemed by a return to an imagined previous state of purity), the name is actully contemporaneous with the late nineteenth century fad for cleanliness-related names. In my city, there’s a company called the “Sanitary Tortilla Company” (or there was anyway. JohnT can correct me). I guess that was part of the same movement-- we definitely want our tortillas to be hygienic. However, I think I will cling to the idea of these cookies being only for the pure of heart and conscience. When I get them, I will only eat them while wearing white. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/64 "2017-10-07T02:34:13Z")
We are all thankful he wasn’t eating [Graham Crackers.](http://nowiknow.com/the-curious-history-of-graham-crackers-and-corn-flakes/) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2017, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789/65 "2017-10-07T03:29:30Z")
> [@lazykitten](#): > > No thank you, I’d rather keep my sanity ^-^ > Or rather, what’s left of it. I have their number\* and will have them directing you an APPROPRIATE message, tout suite! I mean, unless you are at least 38.5 years old, which is surprisingly important. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-member-reporting-for-duty/797789.md?page=3)