# New names for Star Trek: Enterprise **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 8, 2002, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895 "2002-11-08T16:02:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895/1 "2002-11-08T16:02:31Z")
Inspired by Elf6c. My First Officer, The Vulcan. T’Pol calls Archer at odd hours to describe how she is dressed. Leave It To T’Pol: The whacky Vulcan gets the Enterprise crew into and out of difficulties while wearing non standard uniforms. Southprise. T’Pol advises the Chef on his love life. I Love T’Pol. (Hey, Desilu, Paramount) T’Pol has her hair dyed red. Extra points will be given for series descriptions. There will be a test on Tuesday. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895/2 "2002-11-08T18:42:46Z")
Star Trek: Red Shoe Diaries (all decon and dream sex scenes). Where’s Hoshi’s Clothes? (every week Hoshi “loses” her clothes because of some deus ex machina). Trip’s Corn-pone Southern Expressions and Charm Jamboree Star Trek: The Next Generation Plots Redux Those Wacky Vulcans (of course) This Old Ship (Trip tries to keep the lowest bidder built Enterprise going, despite forgetting all of the spares at Earth). Who’s the Boss? (oops, already used) Quantum Leap of Faith that this episode won’t suck (hmm too long) The Long and Pointless Journey Where’s Mayweather? The Ship That Couldn’t Shoot Straight 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895/3 "2002-11-08T18:46:48Z")
so which thread do I post in? aaaaaoooooaaaaaaooooooaaaa (holding my head and writhing around) New Title : **This Old Ship** Norm and Steve try to fix up the Enterprise while keeping up with the local (always changing) building codes New Title: **The Real Enterprise** see what happens when seven actors are thrown together in a hostile alien environment, told to stop acting and get real ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895/4 "2002-11-08T18:49:43Z")
Survivorprise. Viewers vote out the actor with the fewest lines (or most clothes). ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895/5 "2002-11-08T18:51:14Z")
oh my god **elf6c** I was over in the test thread. dammit, Jim, I’m a satirist, not a plagerist! you beat me there, too. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895/6 "2002-11-08T18:53:27Z")
**Hoshi The Vampire Slayer** very popular. very. Hoshi beats up saltsuckers while T’Pol becomes Wiccan ---
**Author:** ![Pythagras](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/45deac/32.png) [@Pythagras](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pythagras)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895/7 "2002-11-08T19:22:10Z")
**Crap** brought to you by that guy who hated you and your trekieism after you refused to give him your biology homework in 10th grade so he made it his life goal to ruin the world for trekkies everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895/8 "2002-11-08T19:23:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*oh my god **elf6c** > > I was over in the test thread. dammit, Jim, I’m a satirist, not a plagerist! you beat me there, too. \*\* No problem. Some ideas just occur to everyone at the same time. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895/9 "2002-11-08T19:24:17Z")
Trading Spaceships Every week, the crew of Enterprise and the crew of an alien ship trade places for 48 hours and redecorate one cabin or duty station, aided by cloned 21st century designers. Hosted by T’Pol or Hoshi. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895/10 "2002-11-08T19:36:03Z")
Enterprise ‘Give them what they want’ Hoshi and T’Pol, either at gun point, mind control device, or drug, are forced to make out with each other for an extended peroid of time. ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895/11 "2002-11-08T19:43:19Z")
The Federation Hillbillies Tripp and his family move into the Enterprise’s engine room in this hilarious fish out of water comedy. In the first Episode Granny mistakes the Warp Core reactor for a still with wacky results. The E team The Crew of the Enterprise right wrongs of the little guy with violent weapons of mass destruction against those who do evil. All the firepower results in no deaths whatsoever. (Mauraders) Mayweather A touching story of a mute man’s struggles to cope in a noisy world when he has no voice of his own. All Creatures Gross and Weird The charming rural space story of Doctor Phlox and the strange offbeat humans he works with. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895/12 "2002-11-08T20:02:18Z")
**Dr. Phlox** like the Dr Phil show, Dr phlox offers meaningless advice to people who didn’t ask. “Sometimes you have to shout at the horse.” “You can’t butter both sides of the toast without it messing up the tablecloth.” “If you’re hysterical, make it historical.” I can’t stand Dr Phil. :wally I like Dr Phlox ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895/13 "2002-11-08T20:28:24Z")
Phloxibal Chef and Dr. Phlox are discovered to be one and the same. We learn why Vulcans are vegetarians. ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895/14 "2002-11-08T20:33:09Z")
Cooking with Chef Each Week Captain Archer and a guest are treated to the Chefs latest Cullinary invention. The Pet Show. Captain Archer and good freind Dr Phlox explain how to care for canine’s in long Space voyages. Excelenty advise regarding Doggie diet (No cheese) and doggie etiquet are explained with real life examples. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895/15 "2002-11-08T21:07:39Z")
The Mild Kingdom: Each week the crew encounters a violently aggressive alien species; a certain amount of fighting and jumping about is involved until one of the crew remembers that those phase pistols have a Stun setting, too (inspired by the 11/6 episode… morons…). Judging Jeffrey: Watch the exploits of the Starship Enterprise as its captain, Jeffrey Archer, imposes his own earth-centric morals on newly-discovered races. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895/16 "2002-11-08T21:10:24Z")
I posted this one to the other thread… Lost in Space: Hey, nobody else is using it… Pigs in Space: No, that’s spoken for, and that’s probably why we haven’t seen Tellerites yet, either… ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895/17 "2002-11-08T21:34:59Z")
Malcolm Reed in the Middle: Follows hydrophobic Malcolm Reed and his family of misfits that always fail to die heroically at sea. Features Snoop Dogg as Pimpmaster K, Klingon Pimp. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895/18 "2002-11-09T03:25:49Z")
**Space Law and Order: STVVU (Star Trek Viewer Victims Unit)** Star Trek viewing is protected by two equally important factions. The shits, who write the shows; and the dung eating pinhead network executives, who ruin them even further. These are their heavily nitpicked stories. (save _Firefly_ it’s an awesome show) ---
**Author:** ![moonchilde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3e96dc/32.png) [@moonchilde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moonchilde)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895/19 "2002-11-09T05:05:27Z")
Archer’s Beau’s: He runs a manly ship with manly sorts of men! The Red Shirt Diary: The tales of the heroic men who beam down to a planet, never to be seen again. Star Trek Alpha: The time before the series got good. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895/20 "2002-11-09T06:12:07Z")
“Klingons and Suliban and Continuity Errors, Oh My!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-names-for-star-trek-enterprise/135895.md?page=2)