# new-ness! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123 "2002-10-27T17:00:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/201 "2005-04-26T23:48:10Z")
:mad: :mad: :mad: This is getting _extremely_ tiresome… _to **Ana** _ ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/202 "2005-04-26T23:50:31Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > :mad: :mad: :mad: > > This is getting _extremely_ tiresome… _to **Ana** _ I know, we need **Hal**. His computer might be able to find a way to track him. How frustrating. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/203 "2005-04-26T23:59:13Z")
:: **Sunspace** suddenly realises he’s talking to thin air. :: Crap. :: looks around at the others, especially **Anaamika** :: Well, we should be able to get _someone_ on the conveyor belt… ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/204 "2005-04-27T00:44:28Z")
:: mysterious unlocalized voice :: Muhahahahahaha! I am everywhere, and nowhere. Abandon your _holo_ dreams of tracking me down! 😃 not only am i mysteriously unlocalized, i also do puns! and if you act now, we’ll throw in a miniature Travel Spatial Rift 47 _absolutely free_ ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/205 "2005-04-27T01:08:44Z")
Not a problem, folks…I’ll handle this. :: Walks over to the Briston9000 Supercomputer, starts hitting numerous buttons :: Ok folks…this’ll get a bead on **SR47** ’s true location any minute… :: whistles to self for a minute…kills some time by grabbing one of **Kythereia** leaden arrows and sticking **Anaamika** in the tush :: **BEEP!** Ahh…here we go… :: checks readout :: …ok folks, according to this, he’s…awww, crap… He’s in the Vale. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/206 "2005-04-27T01:25:41Z")
😃 I’ll just reiterate my mysteriously unlocalized maniacal laughter (which would be a great name for a band). Muhahahahahahahaha … :: evil grin :: It’s quite simple really. The secret of the Vale is beholden only to those who joined before the end of the year 2000. (It was the end of the first age of Dopers … etc etc). So **Sunspace** , if you want to come after me, you just have to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya? _Punk_? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/207 "2005-04-27T01:34:07Z")
What do I feel? I feel like I want to go back downstairs, open that door, make sure it opens to the Vale, and then _nail_ the bloody thing open so that no bloody interloper can close it again! _That’s_ what I feel. **Hal** , can you maintain a link? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/208 "2005-04-27T01:44:46Z")
:: **Sunspace** heads for the stairs to the lower room. He glances towards the circular opening to the Squid Storage Room, noting with some dismay that the water in the pool has been completely replaced by a brownish mass that bears something resembling very large seed pods. :: I guess Monster Bread and squids do mix after all, especially when the Monster Bread is hungry… :: He shakes his head and pushes open the damaged doors to the stairwell. The doors, bent where the giant duck had tried to force its way through, do not open fully. He goes down the stairs and enters the lower room. The chute from the trapdoor above is dark. There is no glow coming from under any of the doors, and the roots that grew under the first door appear to have withered. :: Well, here goes. Vale or no vale… :: He opens the second door. :: ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/209 "2005-04-27T02:01:51Z")
:: detonates the 5 kg C4 explosive on the other side of the door :: :: watches as **Sunspace** is blown all the way back upstairs and into the brownish mass occupying the Squid Storage Room pool :: oh dear … I didn’t think that _had_ claws … :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/210 "2005-04-27T03:02:21Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > **Hal** , can you maintain a link? Yeah, I’ve fixed the bead on him…we’ll be able to track him within a one meter margin of error. Ok…he’s on the move…heading eastbound at a good clip…must be in a vehicle…hmmm, looks he’s heading _towards_ the complex! Is he nuts? He knows what’s waiting for him here…ok, he’s stopped just outside the Vale door. He’s in video surveillance range…lemme check the cameras… :: sees **SR47** loading up the C4 :: **Sunspace**! Abort! Repeat, abort! Do _not_ open the Vale door! It’s a trap! Repeat, do not open the Va… :: feels complex shake with a low rumble, sees **Sunspace** come flying back into the main room :: …errr…never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/211 "2005-04-27T03:30:14Z")
_gets up and scratches head_ Gee, thanks for that, I’ve been stuck behind that door for quite a while. Oh, he’s gone. I hope he’s ok ☹ I cant beleive that SR47 guy put me in here, and all over a damn hologram… _stretches and looks around_ Well, I can hear voices upstairs, wonder if its just the tv. Nope, defiantely people… ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/212 "2005-04-27T03:56:54Z")
I deny all knowledge of imprisoning such a lovely young lass as **Atheist Princess** , especially since she only just now showed up in here. ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/213 "2005-04-27T04:34:35Z")
Ow my head hurts… Now, I swear that Spatia…wait a minute…I vaguely remember pulling an arrow out of my butt… But then there was some sort of remote controlled creature… And I woke up in a drak room… My poor little head ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/214 "2005-04-27T04:44:12Z")
It seems that your initiation has left you a wee bit unsettled. Don’t worry, it happens to everyone, and the sensation should pass soon. Here, have some tylenol. :: hands AP two tylenol for her headache :: ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/215 "2005-04-27T05:33:11Z")
mmm…sweeeet pain relief. Initiation? What initiation? I didnt have any initiation, I just…urm…yes… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/216 "2005-04-27T15:33:20Z")
Waitaminute… Fact #1: **AP** is in the basement. Fact #2: **SR47** just handed her some Tylenol. Fact #3: Holograms can’t _hand someone_ anything. :eek: :: checks computer :: He’s in the basement! He must’ve snuck in after the explosion! After him!!! :: drops portcullis over hole where the Vale door used to be :: ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/217 "2005-04-27T15:35:51Z")
_hears the resounding clank_ He’s trapped! We’ve got him! But **Atheist Princess** … and the _RoboSquck_… :eek: We’ve got to get them out! _goes over to help **Sunspace** to his feet_ ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/218 "2005-04-27T15:39:13Z")
Pardon me … just passing through the thread … Damn, _that_ is one helluva mess. You all _really_ oughta clean it up before a mod comes by. And … ooooh, what did I just step in? Yech! Well, I’m outta here … ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/219 "2005-04-27T15:49:29Z")
Hey, are you guys doing an initiation?? I’ve never seen one, can I watch? I won’t be any trouble, I promise. I’ll just sit over here in the corner and get edgimacated, 'K? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/220 "2005-04-27T16:04:44Z")
:: **Sunspace** comes to and realises he’s embracing a round vegetal object, not the plump woman of his dreams. :: Aaahh! :: He recoils, falls off the surface of _whatever it is_ that occupies the former pool in the Squid Storage Room. :: :: He lands on the floor next to the former pool. :: What the &\*$##! _is_ that? Oh, **Kythereia** , are _you_ ever a sight for sore eyes! I was on top of that… that… _shudder_ What happened? I don’t remember anything after arriving. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=12)