# new-ness! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123 "2002-10-27T17:00:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/341 "2005-04-29T14:32:58Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > They’ll thake that _anywhere_! > > So, do you speak Zamblotchian or whatever this language is? I don’t want to order what I think is a beer and get something with tentacles… Esperanto, maybe? It’s got some Romantic cognates in there… And tentacles never seemed to bother you _before_! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/342 "2005-04-29T14:46:44Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > Esperanto, maybe? It’s got some Romantic cognates in there… > > And tentacles never seemed to bother you _before_! [off] **Daithi** , it is indeed Esperanto. But I’m pretending my character doesn’t know it. Should make things more interesting. 🙂 [/off] Tentacles not bother me? After the last few initiations? \ ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/343 "2005-04-29T15:48:29Z")
Dammit, I keep falling asleep in the midst of things. So where are we _now_? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/344 "2005-04-29T16:11:41Z")
We’re trying to decide whether we can pay for pub food, given that we don’t know what kind of money the pub takes, or even the language used. Fortunately, **Atheist Princess** has a credit card. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/345 "2005-04-29T16:12:40Z")
Well, it seems like things are going well over in Wherever The Hell They Landed. That simply will not do. :: Loads a few giant squcks into the trebuchet, sets trajectory, let’s 'em rip :: Hey guys! _Incoming_!! Well, I wouldn’t be much of an Evil Overlord of Evil if I didn’t throw a few roadblocks into the storyline, would I? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/346 "2005-04-29T16:21:06Z")
:: Darkness has settled over the village square. A few people are bustling about, late arrivals from the evening train, but otherwise all is calm. Suddenly, without warning, there is a terrible SPLATCH. Something has landed in the square, showering gobbets of flesh everywhere. People shriek and run. The travellers are showered with gore. Another and another land. :: What the—? Og, this is disgusting. It’s all over me! _Aiie! Kiu fekajxo–!_ _Maman!!!_ Cries of disgust and dismay rise. The travellers run for the pub door and, along with several other passersby, duck inside. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/347 "2005-04-29T16:47:48Z")
:: gripping axe tighly :: Foul beasts! I shall tear the fleash for their bones, and make their very souls fe-- wait _how_ many are there? Hmmm… I think we might need some back-up. Doesn’t this village have a town guard, or a militia, or _something_? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/348 "2005-04-29T16:51:27Z")
Regallag, I think this is more like that exploding dead whale in Oregon. :: Peers out door. :: Piles of… body parts. Ugh. :: Sirens are heard. :: ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/349 "2005-04-29T16:59:05Z")
Pssst! Guys! They’re squcks. Part squid, part duck. One of those parts being _wings_. I’m thinking they glided into the town square, feeling just fine. Errr, except for being ravenously hungry. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/350 "2005-04-29T17:07:04Z")
(Well, they certainly came down hard enough. Man, what a mess. I hope that wasn’t just a targeting round…) ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/351 "2005-04-29T17:21:13Z")
Worst case senario: The Villages blame these things on us, and toss in jail without weapons while the Squcks mame, destroy, and kill. Best case senario:The villagers help us with these things, and there is much maming, destruction, and killing. Either way, it’s gonna be tough… ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/352 "2005-04-29T17:35:53Z")
Even worse scenario: **Hal** decides you guys have it too easy over there, fiddles around in his Genetic Engineering Lab, and then trebuchets over some raveneous Squiligators (with parachutes) to make things more interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/353 "2005-04-29T17:37:18Z")
Yeah, I was under the impression that\*\* “SQUCK!” \*\* was the sound they made when they landed… Ick. Another worse case scenario: We’re blamed for some of the mess and sentenced to community service, helping to mop up! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/354 "2005-04-29T17:40:44Z")
:: In the town square, there is motion. From the largest piles of meat, shapes rise. Feathers… writhing tentacles… savage beaks… nasty dispositions, not helped by their landing. :: Squaaalllkkkk Crap. Those things are alive??? What’s all the crud then? This is getting worse and worse. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/355 "2005-04-29T17:45:38Z")
Are they _hungry_? Is that what this is all about? Can’t we feed them some defenseless villagers or something? What? I’m tired of always playing lawful neutral… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/356 "2005-04-29T17:58:21Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > Are they _hungry_? Is that what this is all about? Can’t we feed them some defenseless villagers or something? > > What? I’m tired of always playing lawful neutral… :: glances around at the square, where police have arrived with something like a riot-control vehicle :: I don’t think they’re defenceless– :: Someone approaches the travellers :: _Mi pardon petas… cxu vi povas movigxi? Vi sxtopas la pordon._ ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/357 "2005-04-29T18:11:44Z")
You know, for what started out as an initiation thread, this is actually quite entertaining. :: grabs some Squck Brand Snackssup[/sup], leans back in his chair and watches the fun unfold :: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/358 "2005-04-29T18:16:23Z")
Hey… if we’re trying to get food or whatever… couldn’t we just eat a squck? ::hears sounds of retching:: Er… never mind. ::wanders at full speed into the pub:: So, anyone wanna feed a cute kitty? ::looks cute and purrs:: ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/359 "2005-04-29T18:22:20Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > _Mi pardon petas… cxu vi povas movigxi? Vi sxtopas la pordon._ Ooh - let me try - I’m a whiz at languages - - {ahem} _Voolay voo coochay avek moy say swar? Inky-dinky parlay voo? Ee too madray tambyen!_ **looks pleased with self** ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/360 "2005-04-29T18:27:23Z")
_SMACK!!!_ :: **Daithi Lacha** reels back, a facial handprint on his cheek. The newcomer, a beautiful by angry woman, glares at him. :: :eek: WHAT did you say to her, **Daithi**? I think she’s complaining because we’re blocking the door. Let’s get inside. Say… Where’s **mooncat**? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=19)