# new-ness! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123 "2002-10-27T17:00:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/21 "2005-04-18T18:18:08Z")
Whoa! That was a quick banning! OK, people - let’s re-set the scene… ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/22 "2005-04-18T18:24:42Z")
_returns_ I brought lollipops! And there was a discount on leathe– Hey… where did the newbie go? 😕😕😕 _shrug_ Anybody up for some calamari? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/23 "2005-04-18T18:33:20Z")
Calamari? I …had chicken already. Thanks. _twitch_ _whimper_ ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/24 "2005-04-18T18:49:57Z")
Oooo. Er… How about a beer? _proffers one_ ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/25 "2005-04-18T18:56:44Z")
:: Looks at the chair that **Improbability** was sitting in, now containing only a set of leg irons, some duct tape, and a puff of smoke :: Hmmm…it would seem **ohgratuitous** neglected to notify the mods about that name change… Oh well… :: takes proffered brewski :: Here’s to initations that were never meant to be… ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/26 "2005-04-18T19:00:43Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > Here’s to initations that were never meant to be… You know I’ve never seen a goat give a sigh of relief before. Or a squid. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/27 "2005-04-18T19:13:37Z")
_clinks beer bottles with **Sunspace** and **Hal** _ Cheers, boys. To the next initiation! ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/28 "2005-04-18T19:16:09Z")
So when _are_ we going to explore The Vale Beyond the Doorway\*, anyway? - Sounds very C. S. Lewis, dontchya think? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/29 "2005-04-18T19:19:37Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > So when _are_ we going to explore The Vale Beyond the Doorway\*, anyway? > > - Sounds very C. S. Lewis, dontchya think? There’s a slight… problem. Someone closed the door. When I re-opened it, there was nothing there but another dank basement room. I hope that we can get back there someday. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/30 "2005-04-18T19:35:38Z")
Hello \*\*ohgratuitous, \*\*be welcome. Enjoy your stay. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/31 "2005-04-18T20:05:27Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > :: Looks at the chair that **Improbability** was sitting in, now containing only a set of leg irons, some duct tape, and a puff of smoke :: Well, since \*\*Hal \*\* is one of my favorite people, and he’s right next to the chair… :: sneaks up and snaps the leg irons on \*\*Hal \*\* :: Haha! I’ve got you now! Let’s do the initiation anyway, guys - we’ve got a vict-err, a substitute! ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/32 "2005-04-18T20:21:33Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > There’s a slight… problem. > > Someone closed the door. > > When I re-opened it, there was nothing there but another dank basement room. > > I hope that we can get back there someday. Oh, I think this is only the beginning… 😉 In the meantime, let’s put these lollipops and calamari to good use with **Hal**. _evil grin_ ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/33 "2005-04-18T20:27:11Z")
What an …_excellent_ idea! 🙂 :: maniacal grin :: _snap_ _snap_ :: pulls on rubber gloves:: ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/34 "2005-04-18T20:39:04Z")
Hey!! What’d I ever do to you people?? :: recalls _Evil Overlord of Evil_ posts, nearly blowing everyone up with defective RoboGoats, genetically engineering the Squck, etc., etc… :: Ah, crap. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/35 "2005-04-18T20:44:36Z")
Get a feather! Hell, get a whole bunch of them and we’ll start by tickling him until he pees. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/36 "2005-04-18T20:48:25Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > …we’ll start by tickling him until he pees. Good thing I have the mop handy. Ooh - and he’s just had a beer, too. Ew. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/37 "2005-04-18T21:10:49Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Get a feather! > > Hell, get a whole bunch of them and we’ll start by tickling him until he pees. Neener neener…not ticklish. 😛 No, really, I’m not…no sense even trying it out…nope, won’t do you any good, nope nope nope… ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/38 "2005-04-18T23:20:51Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > Neener neener…not ticklish. 😛 > No, really, I’m not…no sense even trying it out…nope, won’t do you any good, nope nope nope… Which usually means he is. But, still, if he says he isn’t he really may not be, so we’ll skip that one. I’ve got it! Let’s read him all the bad puns & jokes we can find. Two guys walk into a bar. The third one says “DUCK!” Three guys walk into a bar. The bartender says “You’d think the third guy at least would have ducked.” A Polish guy, a Jew, a Russian, and an Indian all walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?” A string walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’m sorry, we don’t accept your kind here.” The string goes back out and ruffles up his edges and ties himself into a knot. He walks back in and the bartender says, “Weren’t you the string that just came in here?” And the string says “Nope, I’m a frayed knot.” Two ducks walk into a bar. The third one yells, “MAN!” How you doing, **Hal** , my dear? ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/39 "2005-04-19T00:44:36Z")
**Improbability** & **ohgratuitous** are you a pair of socks? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123/40 "2005-04-19T01:48:32Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > How you doing, **Hal** , my dear? Pshaw! Are you kidding me? I spent _years_ watching MST3K…these jokes have _no_ effect on me! > [@picunurse](#): > > **Improbability** & **ohgratuitous** are you a pair of socks? ``` *Nnnnnnnnnnnggaaaaahhh!!!* Enough!! I give!!! Please, *please* no more torture like that!! :eek: ``` [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/new-ness/134123.md?page=3)